Jokes

[Vonus5591]

I went to the doctor the other day and said: “Have you got anything for wind?” So he gave me a kite.

or

I decided to use my knife to conserve ammo. Apparently that’s not allowed in paintball.

or

What did one pickle say to the other? Dill with it.

[CatsandCheese]

LOVE the paintball one. Needed that.

[Bazzak]

I took a wrong turn today on my walk and ended up on Elm Street.

What a nightmare!.

My friend writes songs about sewing machines. He’s a Singer songwriter. Or sew it seams

.

What do you call a man who tells it like it is?

Frank...

[Vonus5591 in reply to Bazzak]

😂 😆 😂

Fantastic Job!!!

[Midori in reply to Bazzak]

Brilliant as always Bazzak, I'm so glad you've come back to us!

Cheers, Midori

[CatsandCheese]

What happens to a minister who passes wind in church?

He sits in his own pew.

[Vonus5591 in reply to CatsandCheese]

🤣🤣🤣

[CatsandCheese]

Why couldn't Mr. Bigger wear his sons clothes?

He was a little Bigger.

[Vonus5591 in reply to CatsandCheese]

😆

[CatsandCheese]

If you are an American before you go into the toilet, and an American after you leave the toilet, what are you while you're in the toilet?

You're a-peein.

A former boss told me that. At work.

[Vonus5591 in reply to CatsandCheese]

lol

[CatsandCheese]

Scissors says to Knife - So, I see you're still single.

[CatsandCheese]

Scissors says to Knife - So, I see you're still single.

[Vonus5591 in reply to CatsandCheese]

😂👍

[Stippler]

Did you hear about the jailed beekeeper who broke out with hives?

[MadBunny in reply to Stippler]

🤣🤣

[CatsandCheese in reply to Stippler]

Good one, Honey

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Why aren't dogs allowed in bars?

Because they can't control their licker 😉

[Vonus5591 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

💙🤣🤣

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Why aren't dogs allowed in bars?

Because they can't control their licker 😉

[casablancalover14]

Thanks for putting a smile on my face today!😜

[CatsandCheese]

Why did the man yell "Fire!" when he fell into the vat of chocolate?

Would anyone have come to rescue him on time if he'd yelled "Chocolate!"? (Maybe.)

[Vonus5591 in reply to CatsandCheese]

Oh dear 😅 😂