hi, everyone see if any one can help me . I’ve been soo sad . My mother has really bad m/s was in the hospital a few days ago but been released she had episodes of hallucinations there not sure what it is from. They think may b her m/s or her cataract so we face time on the phone with my daughter and nephew wich he help the phone for her I always been so close to my mother. When I was growing up my parents always had made bad comments about me like I’m lazy I have a big ass just all kinds of mean stuff Expecially my sister and I . Never my brother . They are so close to my brother like thy say he’s the only boy in the family . Boy that hurts thy done so much for my brother not me or my sister, so yesterday we were face time and I always make nice comments on her. So when she called me lazy and I don’t work it made me feel soooo low and depressed so I told pls don’t say those mean stuff about me again . The reason I don’t work I have so many medical problems that my family don’t understand what I go through day by day and it’s my health issues - my mother says on face time thy are so Many people that have diabetes that work but the problem is I have high blood pressure. Hypertension, osteo arthritis and uncontrolled blood sugar and so on but thy don’t understand thy like to joke around with me telling how lazy and I don’t work it really strikes me down with depression. It make me cry . Thy never give me support it’s always a negative statement
depression : hi, everyone see if any... - Anxiety and Depre...
depression
I’m so sorry you are suffering from all of this. I have a brother that always puts me down and says I’m lazy and other very hurtful things. He doesn’t have empathy for anyone and my mother always makes excuses for him.
Through therapy, I have learned that they are damaged and have not matured emotionally; I need to learn to accept them because they will never change. They just aren’t capable of it. It can be quite a challenge, but I’m working on it. Also, it’s ok to distance yourself and set boundaries with them. I had to cut my brother out of my life, but I haven’t been able to go that far with my Mom. I don’t get a lot of support from other family members for cutting my brother out, but you have to at least set some boundaries to protect your own mental health first and foremost. I have an excuse prepared when she praises my brother or makes mean comments to me, so I can end the conversation quickly.
You need to take care of yourself and have empathy for yourself for what has and still is happening to you. It’s not your fault. You have to decide to protect your own mental health and put that first
I don’t know if you’re spiritual, but when I remember to pray for strength, God is always helps me through it.
I am not a counselor, but wanted to share what I have learned. I sure hope you can begin to care for yourself. Remember that you truly are not alone. ❤️
Thanks so much for your support, I really needed that. I’m so sorry to hear about your side of the story, all that you go through. It hurts when people comment on things they have no business commenting on. They’re toxic, but we don’t need that toxicity in our lives. I am proud of you for cutting him off, you did the right thing. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
Well said.
I've been through something similar with family. It's hard not to take on those negative comments. But it says more about them than you. I'm sure you would never talk to a child like that. Like you said they're damaged people.It's hard when you don't have family support. I've been there when I was sick and even after I got better. Put your hand over your heart and tell yourself I'll take care of you. Or something to that affect and do it often.
Their judging you is wrong.
Well said Marysblue. Where were you when I needed to hear this? 🙂
Thankyou soo much for thoughts ❤️
This is ironic, b/c your mom has MS...but, I feel like she can't feel past her own walls to your own physical pain. I think this can happen a lot in families. I can tell you this, right off: you took the high road and did exactly the right thing by being kind and yet still setting your boundary line, to let your mom know that her critiques hurt you, when you only meant to be supportive to her.
I don't see her seeing where you are totally coming from, though. Maybe she's lashing out, due to her symptoms and/or her anger/fear about being ill. Or, this sounds like an old issue that she can't seem to get herself to work on, for the better.
Either way, you did nothing wrong and the ball is in your court. As hurtful as this is for you, you have the right to "suspend" your support, if this is all that you are getting back, in return...esp., as you stated that b/c you are female, you don't get the respect that you deserve.
Where I stand, it's all about an individual's compassion/emotional intelligence when the chips are down...you are extending the olive branch, not whipping people with it! Therefore, you deserve better. And, you have already earned the right t o that.
Blessings, and if the sorrow continues, allow yourself to get counseling from someone you trust, or who is a professional...maybe a pastor, or someone that. Keep us posted, and let us know how things go...you matter.
I think we all want to be loved by our families for who we are. Sometimes we just don’t get this in a manner we should. I was the outcast child, you know the one who didn’t fit in. It really wasn’t until this past year did I realize this when my mother and oldest brother died which left me basically alone now. I knew my mother loved me, but it just never came out the right way.
So I know how you might feel. The feeling you can do nothing right. Some really responses on this post in that you come first in your life.
You are exactly the way God wants you to be “wonderfully and fearfully made.” You are loved with an unconditional love. Do not be upset what the world does to you, look to Jesus, who died for you that you may have life to the full. If you were the only one left in the world, he would still have given his life for you. God is a God of justice and he is watching over you. He gives most when most is taken away. In his sight we are all equal. Join a church and meet kind people, a Christian family, who will love you just the way you are. Big hugs. Love and my prayers for you.
Thanyou for ur thoughts. It’s beautiful ☺️😊
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sorry to hear about your mom. The hallucinations could be caused by her MS due to neurological issues. Does she have a follow-up doctor appointment scheduled? (I am not a doctor but worked in the healthcare field for years)
I was wondering it was due to her m/s as well . The depressing part of it - she is done taking her meds ( giving up ) . Everyone tried to talk to her on going back on her medication But still won’t do it , just worried , . . Thankyou so much for response . God bless you ❤️
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