Pushing people away

[HotMess2]

I feel like I am so worried that people won’t/don’t like me so I try to avoid them. I’m going through a stressful time right now in my mind and I keep over analyzing my relationship with my boyfriend and I keep getting mad over the smallest stuff and crying over everything. I get so mad when he disagrees with me or does things that I don’t want him to do. He tells he’s not a robot and I know he’s right. Whenever I’m feeling anxious or sad about my relationship, my first instinct is to think “maybe he’s not the one and I just need to leave him before he gets sick of me and leaves me” but I know I would be sooo upset if he left me and I know logically he has done so much for me and has been there so much for me. I just want us to be able to be happy and I don’t want to be dramatic over nothing. I don’t want him to get sick of me and leave me.

[fauxartist]

I had a fear of abandonment from my childhood that played a huge part in my adult relationships. I had huge trust issues, and was very self critical. I was always subconsciously pushing them away before they could hurt me. I never realized I was self sabotaging my happiness till I started therapy and some group work dealing with people coming from dysfunctional family's.

[HotMess2 in reply to fauxartist]

I’m glad you can relate. I’m waiting for my health insurance from my new job to kick in so I can start therapy and I’m trying to find support groups in my area

[fauxartist in reply to HotMess2]

This site is a great place and a good addition to therapy and other group venues. There are a lot of people who understand where your coming from.

[HotMess2 in reply to fauxartist]

I’m glad I joined.

[fauxartist in reply to HotMess2]

I'm glad I did a while back too...I was also joined at a couple other sites, but found this one, this group in particular very compassionate.

[HotMess2 in reply to fauxartist]

I’m glad I joined.

[foreverbeach11]

You are going through a tough time right now. I'm sorry. Have you considered seeing a professional counselor? Maybe they can help you with coping skills and you could learn how to redirect your thoughts. Sometimes being in a relationship can be difficult when we are not secure about ourselves. Have you considered talking to your boyfriend and letting him know what's going on inside? Maybe he could provide some comforting words. Wishing you the best.