Ready to walk away from my bf for good

[tamka38]

I stop drinking and my bf is still drinking and tonight we got into it again and am ready to let him go for good he’s not worth my time no-more he called me slow and called me a bit*h and act like he wanted to hit me and am really mad because my son was over with me and I don’t want him to ever go through that again

[Agora1]

tamka38, only you can make that decision to call it quits based on your welfare and that of your sons. You'll never go forward if you have someone like your bf in your life. The emotional abuse is bad enough but it sounds like it may go one step further into physical abuse. You don't deserve that and your son need not be there watching this happen. Keep both of you safe by taking that next step. Words that you are ready are not enough, your bf needs to see that you are serious. Show him by your actions. Good Luck tamka. We care about you xx

[tamka38 in reply to Agora1]

I been with him for 17 years on and off and he use to jump on me all the time when my kids was younger and he stop hitting me but still call me bad names I use to drink all the time because of him and I just wanted to be In my own world I don’t know why I keep forgiving him when I was depressed he cheated on me and left me for another woman and I still took him back

[Agora1 in reply to tamka38]

I didn't realize you had been with him so long tamka. But as you can see, things don't change they only get worse. Now I understand more about your drinking as a means to escape reality. Woman who are abused either emotionally and/or physically stay in that situation because they are afraid to be alone on their own. Somehow, in some sick way, it becomes easier to stay in an abusive relationship than to leave for the unknown.

It seems like you are ready to take that step forward. I wanted to say...to leave your safety zone, but it's not very safe is it? You've already taken the first step in stopping your drinking however the anxiety will not go away unless the root of the problem goes away. There are places you can go, numbers you can call that help and protect women and children. Unfortunately, I do not have those numbers but I'm hoping someone on the forum will join in and update you.

You and your children should not have to live like this. I want you to be safe. xx

[tamka38 in reply to Agora1]

Awwww thank you Agora1 u right about afraid of being alone and escaping reality I was afraid of that man I use to wish he would die in his sleep I use to think u was the devil he made my life a living hell

[Agora1 in reply to tamka38]

You deserve more than that tamka. Wishing is no longer enough. I do believe you that your life has been a living hell. And what has it done to the children to see mom being abused? I wish I had all the answers for you but I am glad you are on the forum. These great people really care and we will all help support you. xx

[fauxartist]

I am very happy for you that you have made this choice for yourself to get sober, and your son will benefit from it as well...as far as the boyfriend....it never works when one person stops drinking and wants to stay sober and the other partner carry's on drinking. The verbal abuse is not acceptable...he has to go...it's very hard to stay sober as it is, but to be around someone who is still drinking and being abusive....that's a very slippery slope to be one and try to stay sober. Start making your plans to free yourself from him....it's not healthy for you or as you say....for your son either....I was a kid from an abusive upbringing...had an alcoholic step father that beat my mother bloody in front of me and when I tried to beat him off of her at the age of 7... he picked me up by the neck and threatened to cut my throat with a broken beer bottle.... do not let this relationship continue or it will not end well. Take care of yourself and your son...