Depressed why?

If I’m feeling depressed. I wonder how did get here? Well for me besides the horrific abuse and PTSD . (Im on both groups)I’m referring to let say your not depressed and you get depressed ..than feel better etc..At this point I can somewhat still think as I’m 40% depressed(I rate myself) in the pit. So I notice earlier today I was feeling I suppose so-so. Running late gave me more anxiety. And I felt that triggered because the people I see sometimes I think I have to be someone they want me to be. Impress them and feel pressure. Perfect. Everything has to be perfect. And then I remembered that bad thing from 2 days ago and my depression just went down more. And it stays stuck in my head. Just kept going over over and over And then I’ll start playing the comparison game. That will completely bring anyone down. Why do good things happen to them or why is my life this way, etc. Then I think I’m small, worthless, mistake, useless and will fall into the pit all the way down . Have you ever wandered how you got there? Depressed or Something that keeps you trapped and stuck under layers ? Is there anything nice you can do for yourself today? Or in the phases of depressions as the percentages go from 0%-100% . I guess by playing my fav playlist loud and doing my own thing helped my mood from dropping no more.. I’m purely speaking of my own experience of what happened today. I respect and understand everybody is different I was sharing. ********Let me add this we can not control it. I was depressed for almost 6 months straight . I go into depression in months spans and come out . But I have my 40% good days. . Depression is a diagnosis. I was referring to when you feel bad.

[dee_bells]

I never thought of depression in percentages. I always wondered when did it hit me? Not after the suicide attempt at 18, not after the ex boyfriend tried to kill me but instead he committed suicide by cop. He beat me and verbally abused me. Not then.

But after a combination of getting a BS in Marketing and my career was not successful. That’s when I became depressed for the last 20 years.

I’m depressed every day.

I dwell on stuff all the time but then I finally let it go. I’m older wiser but things still upset me. I enjoy coming here and hope I can help someone in some small way. That makes me feel good.

I hope I’ve understood your post correctly. And if not, let me know. Take care of you. Hugs, Dee

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[Hidden in reply to dee_bells]

Thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you have gone through a lot. I’m sorry your going through and have that. That’s when it must hit you and the depression started for you. I rate my depression levels. There’s always depression for me. I just hope my percentage level I can hope doesn’t go full throttle to 100% for one day. Like an example would be Give me a number between 1-10 how are feeling? Just checking in on yourself through out Day helps me. It seems depression doesn’t disappear but some days are better than others ya know. Take care

[dee_bells]

Today was not a good day as I actually posted about my husband who is being a jerk. I would say my depression hit 9 and I sobbed and sobbed. Then I came on here and chatted a little bit. My son called me too and he’s always funny so I feel better.

I try to do things to take my mind off depressing thoughts. I color, crochet, listen to music, watch documentaries or try reading.

But I would say my depression right now is a 3.

Unfortunately, I feel like I’ve gone through a lot. I was also in a car accident where I was hit by a semi. That was a close one. I’ve had 11 conclusions, my autistic sister lives with my hubby and I, and I’m disabled with a bad back.

But I try not to feel sorry for myself. Too often. 😁

I’d love to hear how your depression is tomorrow and why. Take care and talk to you tomorrow! Hugs, Dee

🌸🌸🌸

[Hidden]

Hello Warrior!

Your post was a little confusing for me, but I see some red flags...lol! Running late causes me great anxiety, so I make sure I have plants of time. Please let go of the need for perfection because it’s not going to happen! It’s not even plausible! Just be you...that’s who people want to see anyway, and if they don’t, then let go of them! Not good friends. I’d rather have no friends than fake ones! Dropping back to 2 days ago will always spell trouble! The past is the past and we have to let go of it. Do not entertain bad experiences from the past. Let them go!!! Yes, the comparison game is very bad for your self-esteem, which you already know. Think positively and block out the past, especially if you’re going to ruminate over it. If you seriously try to block the negativity and look for the positive in your life, you will get some relief. I believe my depression came about due to genetics as my Mother suffered with her depression alone and without any professional help or medication. I don’t know how she did it! Anyway, I’m happy with me today and we all have the capability to turn it around to the positive realm! Wishing you peace of mind! 🌷🌞🌷

[Hidden]

Thanks for sharing

[pam4him]

I think you've got the idea - do something that makes you feel good. It could be a hobby you enjoy, listening to music, meditation, exercise, yoga, etc. Sometimes I go visit my best friend for a couple of days to kind of recharge. Keeping a positive journal-writing about good times, memories, feelings and so on-to read back through when things seem not so good can also help. The answer can be different for each of us, and could change depending on the circumstances. I guess it's basically about making the choice to find positive things to outweigh the negative. Once we do that, the rest usually falls into place and we move back toward that 0% depressed. Keep on keeping on, you got this!