If I didn't have two perfect, wonderful, amazing kids, I'd be long gone. I feel like people like me are just a waste of space. My kids are young enough that they would barely remember me if I was gone. I guess I just don't wanna take the chance on screwing them up. I love them so much. Idk what is is that makes me detest myself so much, but I never let them see it. I have started drinking when they're sleeping and I can tell it's not helping because when I'm sober i'm just an irritable pos. I just wish I was perfect for them. F**k i hate me. I wish i could trade me in for someone better for my family.