42 years and still trying

[ChristywithaC]

Today is a bad day with my anexity . I get so tired of it coming on and ruining a perfectly good day. I have struggled with this for so long I’m beginning to think it’s a curse . It makes me feel empty and distant from everyone and makes me want to be alone forever so I don’t have to have to have the worry of letting others down. I have a great life compared to most with the exception of A. It has destroyed two marriages and working on a third. I wish my wife could understand it’s not her it’s me and I do my best but sometimes the A wins . I hate the way it makes her feel as well. Here is to better days ... Thanks for listening to me vent .

[Hidden]

I’ve been having a lot of struggles with anxiety too, and have lost jobs over it and many opportunities and living in fear a lot. What is your anxiety about? Mine is fear of not being safe, I always feel unsafe and it keeps me from trying new things or even doing things I need to do.

[ChristywithaC in reply to Hidden]

Today my anxiety came on for no reason. Which leads me to be paranoid. I guess being alone is my fear which is condescending as I love to be alone at times. I’m sorry you live in fear and hope things will get better for you as well. I just try and tell myself so I can get through it that it’s a temporary feeling that will pass and tomorrow is a another day. I do sometimes get angry because I feel like it’s a curse.

[Hidden in reply to ChristywithaC]

I understand how you feel. Today I thought about this, and my faith tells me that this maybe my “thorn in the flesh” so taking that view I believe that it is for my ultimate purpose and completion that I have been afflicted. It is a blessing and a curse

[Hidden]

I feel as if I'm cursed ..I'm 43 and still trying aswell..

[ChristywithaC in reply to Hidden]

Hang in there tomorrow is a new day! Just remember the feeling won’t last forever .

[Hidden in reply to ChristywithaC]

Another day without any purpose for me..

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I love the book Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. That book really helped me define my purpose.

[Fluffy44]

I know what your feeling!!!

[ChristywithaC in reply to Fluffy44]

Keep your head up ! Since I joined this group yesterday I feel like I have a force to fight this because I now feel I’m not alone ! We are here for you Fluffy 44 !!!

[Strongheartforever]

I’m 42 also and sound like a broken record but I gotta mention peri menopause. You can’t fix hormonal imbalance with positive thinking or synthetic pills or karate classes but you can find a compounding pharmacy and get BHRT. If you want the name of the One who can lead you to the light, it’s Dr Christiane Northrup. Get acquainted with her greatness. Somers’ books “I’m too young for this!”, “Ageless”, “Tox-Sick”, etc will shed so much light on all the darkness that is your current burden. Stay away from plastics ( it must be possible) they’re full of xenoestrogens which add to our overload. If you were to go to a Functional medicine doc or nurse, referred by a high quality compounding pharmacy, you’d get your blood drawn. There are things that have crashed and you are at a zero balance with. Hypothyroid plus estrogen dominance plus adrenal burn out equals complete misery. This is what happens by the time we are 42. Your thyroid can’t function without iodine. There are bits of wisdom like this that will help save your sanity. Hormones run everything. They decline starting in our thirties. We all know this but what happens is insidious. We start feeling blue. We call it depression. When it’s often a medical issue, a hormonal issue. Take (GAIA brand) Vitex (Chaste tree berry extract) every darn day. Every day without fail. The stuff is a miracle, a natural hormone balancer. Also, Sepia, a holistic tablet. Read the newest books on peri menopause and Functional medicine. All the pieces will come together and there will not be a trace of blame left because it’s not your fault, not that it ever was, but it will make SENSE finally. All the pain and struggle. You’ve been fighting a beast who finally has a name. And now the battle will begin. This state is dangerous to stay in. Your brain and body will welcome disease when your hormones are outta whack. I guarantee you have a deficiency of some sort and it can be balanced. But it’s nothing for an amateur to take on. I tried. For years. To be my own doctor. Bad idea. Get answers and BHRT. Wish someone had told me this 7 years ago! Look into pmdd too, your symptoms sound like mine were, and I developed it. Could just be text book estrogen dominance too.