I’m 20 and just had a baby and my boy... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

92,664 members86,506 posts

I’m 20 and just had a baby and my boyfriend makes me feel like a bad mother

FtpE profile image
FtpE
9 Replies

I know it’s not intentional but words definitely hurt. He makes me feel like I have no clue what I’m doing. Or like I’m hurting my baby. It’s hurts because I love my baby so much I would never hurt her or let her cry. But she wants to be carried constantly and when he’s not around I have to get things done so I have to put her down. The other day I put her down in her bassinet and she began to cry but I was cooking and cleaning and pumping milk. My boyfriend gets home and looks at me. He gave me this look like he was disgusted with me. And said “seriously?!? You just have her fucking crying there” I never thought being a mom would make me feel so lonely.

Written by
FtpE profile image
FtpE
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
9 Replies
compasnet profile image
compasnet

I'm sorry but in all due respect to him, YOU sound like a GREAT MOM to me!

FtpE profile image
FtpE in reply tocompasnet

thank you honestly you have no clue how much I needed to hear that

compasnet profile image
compasnet in reply toFtpE

YOU're welcome. ...honestly, you deserve it. 🫂(((FtpE and the baby)))🫂

Genuineguy profile image
Genuineguy in reply toFtpE

Yes, I agree too. You sound like a really lovely mum. His words wouldnt hurt you so much if you weren't a good mum. 🌸🌷🌺

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

Congratulations on you baby :) Welcome to motherhood. It's a tough job to take care of a baby and keep a household going. I was a mom at 20 also.

If he walks in the door and says the baby is crying tell him to pick the baby up. Instead of criticizing you he should get his hands right in there.

You are doing a wonderful job:) It takes time to learn to juggle things. One thing I did was use one of those front carriers you put them in... the name escapes me.,, I was able to get some things done carrying her around.

You got this

🐬

so I totally understand where hes coming from, but what you learn quickly as a new parent is that babies will cry, and sometimes you just have to let them cry themselves out. You cant be right there 24/7 its just impossible and the child has to get used to that. Or get a carrier so you can walk around with her.

Also tell him next time he doesn't have to yell, there will be plenty of that in the future. Both of you are learning. 20 is young

catsrock profile image
catsrock

You sounds like an amazing mom. He needs to spend some hours alone taking care of the baby so he gets how hard it is.

Midori profile image
Midori

Your answer should be ' Well, you are here now; you can look after her while I get on with the cooking and cleaning! I haven't been sitting down all day!'

Parenthood is a partnership, both parents should be involved with the care.

Personally, I would not bother with cooking his meal to be ready for him to come home, he can make it himself, or order in, it if he's going to be an AH.

I see it as the first red flag, demeaning you like that. It could be that he's feeling a little jealous of the baby, as she will be taking attention from him.

Keep your eyes open for more red flags, demeaning you is a classic AH move. I had a husband like that, and it only gets worse if you don't set rules.

Cheers, Midori

Tara52 profile image
Tara52

its been a long time since I have had an infant to care for but I wore one of those "snugglies" and put my baby in that as I did my housework. It worked out real well. Just a suggestion. BTW you are a very good mom.👍💕

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

He left me because of my depression... I’m 20 and he is 27

Hello I’m new here. I really don’t know how to start this but I’m really confused, angry and...

I feel like crap and my 5th sense?

I don’t know what to do anymore my anxiety is sooooo bad literally I feel it through me. My...
Adamj profile image

My Dad makes me feel like I'm insane

Hi, my name is Ana Catarina. I've had problems with depression before. I even started to see a...
Kittycati profile image

I don’t think my mother like me

Am depressed trying to do anything to myself feel better. I took a picture of myself and it off...
tamka38 profile image

Misscarrige not over 4 month on

I lost my baby in September and I’m finding myself getting really upset lately over seeing other...
Afrohair profile image

Moderation team

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.