Still a Joke

So my last post here was about me feeling like I am a lesser person and how I feel like a joke. This is my life! I had been seeing a girl for about a month and a half. We decided one day last week to make our relationship exclusive. THE NEXT DAY I found out that she was talking to my best friend and they had made plans to hang out. He was very aware of my relationship with this girl and had been pursuing her behind my back since the beginning. Now, with my social anxiety, he is really the only friend I have ever really even coinsidered a friend. However, I cannot talk to him about anything at all, he's just not like that. But now, even my own best friend makes me feel like I'm a joke! I'm completely lost here guys!!! Please help

[Noorit]

Just remember that your friend knows from heart that she's not being faithful and be assured that he is not taking her seriously and one day they will break up too. I suggest you not to lose your friend as long as he is the only friend but think of a way of sending a signal that you're happy not to be with her as she doesn't deserve your attention anymore because of her attitude and how she will do the same with him. This will indicate to your friend that you're being strong and not affected at all by this incident.

[Hidden in reply to Noorit]

Thanks Noorit,

However, I am clearly affected by this.

[Hidden]

I typed out this whole novel to this and then realized I wasn’t signed in and it did not save my comment. I just want you to know that your life holds limitless value. You are loved beyond your capacity to understand and your presence is so necessary. Keep fighting and take it one day at a time.

[Hidden]

Her and I are definately over with. I was extremely upset with my friend but have decided to forgive him even when he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. I went to church last night and there was a very powerful sermon on forgiveness. It inspired me to move on because no ne is promised tomorrow. I'm trying really hard, but I can't forget this for awhile

[Hidden]

Thank you so much Oliviaw210,

I am trying very hard to be strong and overcome all of this. It simply hurts

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

How are you feeling now?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I’m feeling quite the same. I’ve come a long way in my life but anxiety has changed me so much. I wish I could feel normal, talk normal, act normal. I worry sometimes that this has become who I am.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

And you? How are you feeling?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I’m feeling about the same. Kind of feel like my life is over at 16.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

16 is about when my social anxiety started. How long have you had anxiety?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I’ve had it my entire life

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

And you are 16 now?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Pretty much 17. But 16 is when my entire life collapsed and just fell apart

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

How come?

[SirGrits]

toddt2 calling yourself a joke is a little harsh. But I think you know that. That being said, I can really see how you'd feel that way.

I recommend taking a step back and assess the circumstances with your friend and this girl. Was your friend really as aware of your interest in her as you think? I encourage you to be open with your friend about how this situation made you feel. Don't go all the way to "I feel like a joke", but do indicate that what he did hurt your feelings. Opening up a little will also let you get a read on your friends trustworthyness. Friendships are valuable things, obviously, and either working this out will make your friendship stronger or give you the proper perspective on how much you should rely on this friend going forward.

[Hidden]

Thank you SirGrits!

He was well aware that we were spending a lot of time together. He was also very active on her social media liking all her photos and possibly talking to her earlier than the conversation I know about. I have explained to him how I feel and he does not believe he has done anything wrong. Narcissistic i believe. After telling him how upset I was with his actions, I let him know that I had forgiven him. I have received to repsonse from him in a few days. This is ripping me apart inside

[SirGrits]

Hey man sorry to hear. Don't throw away friendships lightly, but I encourage you to find someone else to promote to "best" friend. Friendships aren't always "safe" from hurt feelings, but trust certainly helps. I encourage you to build some trust with this friend or another. And remember that you're entitled to trust people, and you're entitled to hurt feelings, and you're entitled to expressing yourself, and you're entitled to moving on; heck, you're entitled to fighting for this girl and winning too--if you're up for that.

Forgiving your friend is important, hold to that. But it doesn't mean you have to remain friends or as close. But forgive yourself too, even if it doesn't appear that you did anything wrong. You have my prayers bro.

[Hidden in reply to SirGrits]

Thanks SirGrits!

words of true wisdom! What is it that brings you here? Wish I had more people like you around here!

[SirGrits in reply to Hidden]

Hey toddt2 my story is pretty bland. A few years ago I had a crippling battle with insomnia. Thru the Grace of God and some great internet resources, the anxiety has become manageable. I'm having a rough year circumstantially, but rather than letting that win over; I've decided to join a few support forums to a) be a helpful, Christian voice and b) to have a safe place to go for relapsing.

[Hidden in reply to SirGrits]

I have also found great help and support from God and my church. I’m learning every single day to be a better human being and have strength over what makes me weak! Thank you again!

[Sunandrose87]

Something like that happened with a my friend and me. She was flirting with someone I like. I cut off the friendship but she is still a flirt. I know that you forgive your friend but if he does not apologize for his actions then he may do the same thing again and you don't want him destorying a relationship with your future wife. On my experience it took a whole year to replace the friendship but now I happy because all my friend girls or not flirty boyfriend stealing girls but they are geniune people

[Hidden in reply to Sunandrose87]

He has never apologized. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong so I have not spoken to him since. It troubles me that I have held him so close to me as a friend when he would do something like that to me. I really have absolutely no friends because of my anxiety but maybe this is why I don’t

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Don't blame yourself. You need to find a friend that you can be open with and talk to honestly. It seems like he wasn't really in the friendship for you, but for him... it should be equal. Best of luck to you and future friends. hugs

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much! I am thinking I should choose my friends more wisely. Friends that actually know who I am

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

No problem! Yes. So often we overlook the true nature of the people surrounding us. Check their character before you get too close. Make sure they will appreciate you for you, and do the same for them... they will appreciate it ;).

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you again

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

[Sunandrose87 in reply to Hidden]

I can understand the no friends part because genuine people are hard to find because they have trust issues like you do. If you are looking for people to enrich your life try look in your local area for adult sport team, book club, or even take a night class at a community college.