Still trying/ worthiness

[Starrlight]

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

-mark twain

You never know what you can accomplish until you set out and try

Lately I’ve been moving along in therapy and things have been shifting and I’m getting signs of change and healing especially today I feel the motivation to really go but I just don’t know in what way I’m supposed to go but since I’m really physically sick as hell today it must be a mindful decision with ideas that need to be made and my heart is telling me as friends have hinted to me to take care of me first and stop doing it all for everybody as it’s just killing me... I need time for creativity I need time to be me...and to feel worthy... have I ever felt worthy...? I’ve never remembered a time when there wasn’t something seemingly wrong with me. And that, is not my fault. I feel like I wish someone could show me or give me a hint of what feeling worthy is about.

I think I need to get back to my artistic roots and go for the raw stuff that comes straight from my core self, the crazy strong emotions I need to work through, some things on my own soon, and I want to be sure I’m open to what I need to create. Just thought I’d share. I’m excited to hopefully create something meaningful that I will be proud of. When I do, I’ll share it here with you beautiful people. ❤️

[Florida1959]

Sounds fantastic, xxx you are loved x

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Awww 🥰 love ya so 😍

[Ddorne in reply to Florida1959]

Thank you and God bless your.

[Florida1959 in reply to Ddorne]

Blessings to you xxx

[Rafiki11]

You were created for a reason to be a part of this human family. You are working to make your part of the world a better place. You are worthy. You are enough. You have immeasurable value.

Brene’ Brown: worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

Brene’ Brown: no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

[Starrlight in reply to Rafiki11]

This is beautiful and true Rafiki thank you ☺️

[Hidden]

Starrlight. I think you have the answer to your questions right there in your post. Listen to your body and try not to second guess your self. Helping others is kind and knobble. However if it interferes with your physical and mental health. Take a break.. "Physician Heal Thy Self " not only means be aware of your own actions/words when interacting with others. It also means just that, "Heal Yourself (first). I have yet to see my doctor or my therapist come in for a session suffering from a cold or flu... Be well. Okay?

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

I’m taking a break right now ( after working a little too hard for a long time) Thank you. You are so right on. I have to rest now and my body is screaming at me. It’s hard for me to stop working. I don’t know I think I’m a workaholic it’s what I do all the time. There’s always so much going on but I do want to be healthier so I must change my ways. I want more peace. Thanks again Lazaruslong I really appreciate you!!!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you.. always willing to lend and ear... Or should that be eye? Hmmmmmmm....

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

Hi... A Heinlein fan by any chance? If so, I'd love to talk about it.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Yes and Larry Niven, Frank Herbert as well.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

Oh my goodness! Strictly hard science fiction, or do you include others?

I have a lifetime of reading SF behind me (also horror, fantasy, more), and hearing your ideas would be a joy! Your favorite novel of Frank Herbert (other than the immortal Dune)?

Let's see... My favorite Heinlein? I start with the early shorts. Maybe "Misfit". My favorite novel? Possibly The Door Into Summer, or The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I have read every one of those! Heinlein Yup. My favorite of his is "Friday" Just going back over the various collections, it dawned on me that I read A LOT of Sci-Fi! My favorite Frank Herbert "White Plague" hands down,

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

The White Plague. I'm going to consider that a recommendation. I love Herbert! I'll start looking for it today.

Nothing more fun for me to talk about than books. How about you?

Have you read Ender's Game and/or Speaker for the Dead? I may be wrong, but I think both books won both top SF awards, the Hugo and Nebula. I love both of them, but overall I think Speaker was a better novel. (The movie stunk in my opinion. Oh well.)

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Yup. Books are also a comfort. " Outside of a dog,a book is Man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" Groucho Marx

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

My favorite quote. 😁

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I should keep a list of quotes. I find that there is a good one for every occasion

[newbie1956]

Starr... The Greatest Man who ever lived died for you.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[c-mac]

Looking forward to it! Your art is always appreciated.

[Starrlight in reply to c-mac]

Thanks C-Mac! So kind! How are you doing?

[c-mac in reply to Starrlight]

I'm good. Been going to a zoom support group for BPs. It's the highlight of my week. But I was just diagnosed with ADD, so I'm trying to wrap my head around what that means for a 50-year old (who thinks he's 20.)

[Starrlight in reply to c-mac]

So with ADD you act or feel younger than you are? Sounds kind of good in a way to me.

[c-mac in reply to Starrlight]

I'm not sure it's the ADD that makes me feel I'm younger -- probably good old-fashioned denial!

[Hidden]

I am glad you are doing better overall with your mental health. That is wonderful news. The next point is key though you said you wanted to feel worthy well that motivation to better yourself and to put yourself first is being worthy. You have been worthy this whole time and you forever will be. You deserve love and respect just like everyone else, never doubt this. As far as finding meaning that will come with searching. Keep doing things for you and participating in things you enjoy and eventually you will feel a spark. When that happens you will have found meaning. remember meaning isn't being overly joyed all the time 24/7 it's about being truly content and loving what it is you are doing. Even if it's just having a cup of coffee by yourself in the morning. Good work we are all proud of you and the progress you are making. Keep putting yourself first.

[moxoni237]

yes you

[moxoni237]

yes you are worthy small steps to achieving are big stepping stones sharing youre thoughts interests when you get a sense of achieving outcomes

[Pel3749]

Wonderful! God bless and be with you!