Black hole

[lbp_419]

Lately my depression has been me entering this huge hole that is nothing but black and I can’t get out sometimes. I have moments where suicide seems like it would be helping me up hill instead of down. I would never actually attempt though. Who knew someone could feel like this at 17? I’m about to enter my senior year, supposedly the best year of high school and I don’t even want to go. I have no classes with any of my friends and my boyfriend graduated last year so he’s working full time now. I feel like we barely see each other any more...and I feel like it’s not a spontaneous relationship sometimes. I wanna try new things with him but he always wants the same things and we haven’t done anything really fun in a while. Ugh. Please someone help me.

[pink83737]

Hi!! I know how you feel 100% this is so common, senior year can be stressful because it feels like you have to figure everything out in a short period of time but I have those moments also when suicide seems like it would solve everything but turns out it really doesn’t you need to work through this, push yourself even if you don’t want to go, you will make new friends in your new classes! That’s something to look forward to!

[LovelySnow]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I was young, too and felt like you feel. You're definitely not alone. Maybe you have a mature and sensitive heart. I know suicide might seem like a way out, but I'm glad you know it's not the answer. I'm glad you posted. Do you have anyone around you supporting you?

[lbp_419 in reply to LovelySnow]

My boyfriend has been supporting me. Although it’s too much for him to handle sometimes

[LovelySnow in reply to lbp_419]

That's so great that he is supportive! But I can understand - it can be a lot sometimes for the people who care about us to know what to do or say when we get depressed. It's not that they don't care or that we are a problem, it's just a unique situation.

What about your friends? I know you might not see them too much in school, but, otherwise?

Have you ever seen a counselor/therapist?

[lbp_419 in reply to LovelySnow]

I have seen a therapist but it didn’t work out. Didn’t love it a lot. My school starts September 5th. So I haven’t seen a lot of friends

[LovelySnow in reply to lbp_419]

You may know or have heard this already, but not every therapist is a good fit. It can take time to find one who listens and can be supportive of you. I know it helped me a lot. But I saw a few (maybe more) before I found one I felt comfortable with and felt like I could trust.

Just some food for thought. If you're not ready or don't want to go, it's hard to make yourself.

Whatever you decide, I hope you can find good support and people who love and care about you! You are worth it!! Best of luck and maybe I'll "see" you on another post!

[LovelySnow]

Hi lbd_419. Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. No pressure to answer if you don't want to. Hope things are going ok.

[lbp_419 in reply to LovelySnow]

Things are going pretty good. Haven’t had a bad couple days. Did some school shopping yesterday

[Agora1 in reply to lbp_419]

What a difference a day makes ibp xx

[LovelySnow in reply to lbp_419]

That sounds good. I'm glad to hear it. I hope you have a good first day on the 5th.

[Cassie2178]

Hi, I hope you are feeling better today. Senior year is such a pivotal time in life with so many upcoming changes and choices. Everyday you feel like you are being bombarded with where to go to college, what job to apply for, SATs and ACT exams, and lets not forget to be popular and adventurous! No wonder so many teens are facing depression earlier and earlier in life. I recommend taking your senior year to find yourself and explore your likes and dislikes. Its great to have old friends and a boyfriend but its even more important to be friends with yourself. This may sound weird but I believe so many of us are hyper focused outside of our own selves that we miss ourselves and I believe this is what is leading to depression. Have you seen the movie, 'Run Away Bride' with Julia Roberts? I was thinking about this the other day because there is a scene in the movie where she is asked the simple question, "how do you like your eggs"? She didn't know because she had always ate the type egg her boyfriend, friend, or family member liked. She never knew what she liked because she was too busy trying to be liked or go along with those she was with. I hope this encourages you to find your own adventure...figure out how you like your eggs.

[lbp_419 in reply to Cassie2178]

You are totally right! And I absolutely love that movie! It’s one of my favorites💜

[Cassie2178]

Try to remember this as you move through your days. I'm excited to hear an update at some point (if you want to share). Hope this is a wonderful, exciting year for you!