A part of my life , and wanting a sol... - Anxiety and Depre...

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A part of my life , and wanting a solution

Kevin160 profile image
12 Replies

Hey everyone , currently im calmer than before , but i felt the need to talk about my problems maybe i can find someone who has ideas on how to help , im 16 , thankfully physically healthy , im a severe hypochondriac like i panic when i feel the slightest problem with my body , i didnt have the easiest childhood nor in general now , messy divorce, sometimes we had financial problems, alot of family fights that ended in violence, bad relationship with people , bullying and pressure of school and exams and stuff , to add on top , my mom’s cancer diagnosis and very bad things that happened in a row like family members getting sick or breaking a bone or accidents or fights , it seemed like a curse , facing all this i believe ..ofcourse it affects me mentally , although now things are much better , my mental state is really bad , i have alot of stress and anxiety now due to irrational fears such as getting a heart attack eventhough im young and healthy , my fear of not knowing what will happen next , i also keep getting severe migraines with aura and i get elevated bp due to stress and i have severe psycological suggestion , like thinking about something triggers anxiety and sometimes phsyical symptoms , my confidence went to the ground and now im vulnrable to so many irrational fears , so much bad things happen now eventhough its still better than before but i still cant cope sometimes , although i came a long way from a few weeks back where i was much worse and suffered many panic attacks and stuff now i still panic and stress bht its a bit better and i feel like i have a part of my life back ,i started now having any wilingness to eat , i become nasueas alot ..it really sucks and i nust wanna get back to normal where simple things didnt affect such major things in my life , i would like to talk but i feel this is enough for the people who nust wanna know about me , i have alot more but this is like the most major stuff ..

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Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160
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12 Replies
Dilaw808 profile image
Dilaw808

You sound a lot like me when I was in my teens. I dealt with some horrific things that lead to PTSD, depression and anxiety, migraines, and all the other crap I deal with. If you read my profile you will get a better understanding of what I have been through. Starting out here is very brave, and amazing that you decided to reach out somewhere. Some of what you have been through can have lasting effects that follow you to your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s like myself and I have accepted that I may just be this way for the rest of my life. Can you talk to a counselor at school. My daughter who will be 16 this year, did that years ago, which lead to a phone call home and waking us up to what she was dealing with. She is my baby, I have four kids and I had been giving a lot of my attention and energy to my son who is an addict and has gone through so much rehab. Maybe, if it’s safe, you can talk to some uncle or aunt or parent that can open their eyes to how much you have been affected. Life isn’t easy, but it’s not meant that we go through it alone. I have learned I can’t reach out to my siblings and parents too much. They can be very judgmental. So make sure you choose someone safe. But it sounds like you need help aside from just posting here. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of pain. I’m always here for you. You can DM me anytime. I’m up really late sometimes because I have insomnia. I think you must be pretty amazing. It takes a special person to seek out any kind of help, and you have done that here. Sending positive thoughts and energy

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to Dilaw808

You are beyond amazing yourself , ofcourse im thankful for many things and i believe my experiences although im young made me grow up early and be more knowledgable on life , im not the type of reckless person , and i like to give advices and help people because i would not wish this type of stress and anxiety on my worst enemy , i have been through but im better off than others , im thankful for everything but i never seem to catch a break , like every single day something stressful or scary or something ruins my mood and all the progress that i feel i made relating my stress and anxiety just seems to go away , i suffer from severe panic attacks that put me in hospitals more than once , and i became scared of simple things i was never worried about before because my confidence in myself and dealing with problems became so weak , and i know im healthy and that its all in my bead but i just dont know how to get better , things seem to help a d time surely heals but its been a long time and one things always leads to another and i feel terrible sometimes that im afraid to go lut of the house , its so dissapointing how things change easily , just a few months before i could eat well i would feel terrible and tired and so drained and i would exercise and do stuff , socialize well and be happier.

Dilaw808 profile image
Dilaw808 in reply to Kevin160

Oh man can I relate. For about 12-15 years I was a personal trainer. I pushed through all the negative horrible feelings and exercised and trained people. But when you deal with stuff like stress, depression, anxiety and so on it doesn’t go away. You can hide from it but it always comes back, sometimes stronger. Now I am a hermit. I have 6 weeks were I will push myself to workout but then I just stop cause I feel so awful.

One thing you should know is that you are not creating things awful things you have been through. Other people are throwing their insecurities and crap in your direction. It’s hard when it’s family because it’s almost like you feel obligated or compelled to get involved. Try to worry about yourself more and take care of you. It sounds like maybe there maybe too many people worrying and taking care of themselves, at your expense. You are young and you should enjoy life now. I wasn’t able to enjoy my youth. I hope you can, even if it’s a little at a time. I told my daughter when she had all those fears and anxiety and she would worry about getting kidnapped or one of her parents dying (she has experienced some stuff I wish she hadn’t while she was younger). I told her she needed to push all that negativity aside and be happy and enjoy these years. You only have one childhood, one “teenage years”, one “the 20’s” and so on. My eldest daughter deals with anxiety but was no where as bad as my baby girl.

I don’t mean to send such long replies. I just want people who suffer like I or we do to find comfort and peace in sharing and knowing you are not alone. I believe we can help each other. Try to see through the garbage and find the good. I know it’s hard. I am 46 and I am barely finding the good. I just hope and pray that you don’t have to wait till your 40’s. You are young, and amazing and you deserve joy and happiness.

pink318 profile image
pink318

Hi- Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry you had a difficult situation but I’m glad you are doing better now.

Having fear is normal as long as it will not rule our lives. I have a sister who is going through anxiety because of fear of sickness. Because of her fear, she is very conscious of what she eats to the point that she would eat less and sometimes could not sleep well. I’m hoping and I pray that she will overcome her fears. I pray for you as well that you will overcome and things will get better for you.

Please update us, I hope this forum will be a big help for you and you will be encouraged. Please feel free to post. We are here for you. God bless.

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to pink318

Thank you so much , your support is beyond enough , just having support and knowing that im not alone and that i can find a solution with all the help i have is wonderful , i didnt expect all that , i still get anxiety attacks between times , and eventhough i overcame some of the problem , i keep thinking about panic and fearing that i will not be able to control my anxiety

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to pink318

I can calm myself down somtimes , but im always afraid that “WHAT IF” , and im just scared that i will start suffering high bp , get migraines , suffer from heart disease , because i couldnt seem to be able to relax even when i dont seem to have alot of problems, just fear of the future and what might happen eventhough its unlikely it still freaks me out , just sometimes i feel like i can face this without a doubt but other times i feel like i wont be able to get through this and it will only get worse leading to more mental illnesses and other physical problems due to stress and anxiety

Txnut60 profile image
Txnut60 in reply to Kevin160

Start a journal. Write down all your what ifs. Then read back over your journal to see how your what if’s never came true. They are simply emotions nothing else. Writing them down helps to dissipate their power over us. Good Luck!

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to Txnut60

Thats a great idea, ill get on it , thanks

pink318 profile image
pink318 in reply to Kevin160

Hi Kevin,

How are you? I hope you are feeling doing well.

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to pink318

I feel better , thanks to all the people who helped, i still panic sometimes and get panic attacks, along with constant anxiety and heart palpitations , but its not as severe, like it doesnt bother me as much as it did before, because i also realized that my physical symptoms were due to my anxiety not an actual health issue , i still get worried sometimes , like for example a few days ago i didnt feel that anxious just a bit , but i got hit with this headache and i was like my blood pressure cant be high cuz im not so worried, it was like 150/100 and my resting bp is like 110/70 , maybe it was subconious anxiety i guess thats a thing , it was a setback because i relied on the fact that it only rises when i panic , but now i feel worried about the fact that it can rise easily with stress makes me worry over my heakth more , its like a vicious cycle where i stress over stress

Ps. Sorry for the long reply ;)

pink318 profile image
pink318 in reply to Kevin160

I'm happy to hear that you are feeling better.

Please stay strong, you are in my prayers.

Keep us posted. God bless

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to pink318

You are so kind , thank you for the support

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