Tonight is a little bit different

[vanessi]

I've been feeling very anxious today. I feel completely lost and confused. This time is not cos the breakup, this time is cos me! I feel I don't know what road to go, tonight I feel I should stay in my country and start doing my life, but also I think my dream was moving abroad. Idk, for the first time since December I feel all these feelings belong to me and they are not due other ppl's behaviour or mood.

I feel so confused, my heart is so confused and my mind too. Work is ok! Family is kinda ok! Friends (well people I spend time with) ok too. I've been going out a lot recently and believe it or not it has made feel ok! I get distracted and have a good time with the people I'm with! I think right now I shouldn't take a decision about my future cos I don't feel capable. I'm gonna wait to feel 100% sure, prepared and gonna let these emotions be. I'm not interested in rushing, what do you think??

I'm not interesting in rushing even if my life is a completely routine I wanna recover here in my country then make a decision.

Hope everybody is doing great! Xx

Vanessa

[JOEDEM]

Yes, wait it out. Europe is not going anywhere, you are still young. That’s how progress feels, exactly what you are describing. It’s not like one day you wake up and it’s all better. What are you talking about as far as “distractions” is progress. Your mind is allowing you not to focus on only the negative. You may still have moments of anxiety or depression, but if you are having some good moments, you are beginning to heal. That’s exactly how it starts. You kind of “forget to worry”. That leads to a little less anxiety, and then your mind slowly realizes it’s OK not to obsess and worry about things. If things are going OK, don’t complicate it by moving across the world!! When you feel 100% ready, then reassess things. The first priority is your health. Change will cause anxiety. So stay where you are at for now.

[vanessi in reply to JOEDEM]

Thanks for your reply, well I still have the same feelings for my ex but this time it is myself. I feel I won't be able to stand being in Europe by my own for the moment cos when I wake up I have this feeling of sadness and loneliness and right now I feel being at my mom's house is my home where I can hide when I don't wanna see anyone. Anyway I was planning to move next year in summer so still so much time to see what happens and how I am feelings at that time.

Today I woke up very down, wanna stay in bed all day and I don't wanna go to work. Long time ago I didn't feel like this and I hate to force myself. I'm very scared and worried about my future but again I think is a good idea to be completely sure of what I want and what I need to feel ok again

[dee_bells]

I agree with Joedem.

Everything is ok and let the pieces fall into place. Keep your goal in your mind and take it one step at a time toward what you want. You’ll get there! I believe in you. 🌸🌸🌸🌻🌻🌻🌻💕

Dee

[vanessi in reply to dee_bells]

Thank you but at the moment I'm not sure what I want and I feel very confused that is why i don't feel prepared. Before I wanted to go to Europe but now I'm not sure if I will be able to stay there... I don't know... it has been a tough year

For example right now I'm in bed need to go to work but I have a weird feeling inside of me, the kinda feeling that make me hide at home. I don't feel like seeing nor doing anything today. It always happens to me in the mornings

[dee_bells in reply to vanessi]

I hope you push yourself and go to work.

I was like you and gave into the feelings of staying home and not going to work. Push yourself. Please.

You don’t want to be me and lose your job and staying home will be a habit and you’ll do it every day. This is not a good life. Do it for you. Do it for your future. You can do this!!💕💕🌸🌸🌸

Dee

[vanessi in reply to dee_bells]

Well the last few months I didn't have a problem to go to work I got used too again but this morning I was feeling so down and not feeling like going but at the end I went. My problems are in the mornings, there is when I feel so bad. I always have a weird feeling inside and have anxiety but after work I feel better. Maybe it is the feeling of Mondays then re staring the week. Hope tomorrow morning I feel better. Thanks for the reply

[Hidden]

Wise idea ...don't be too hastey!

[vanessi in reply to Hidden]

I won't, I agree with you too

[purposelife]

I agree with not rushing. Waiting and recovering until you are 100% sure. Take care

[Hidden]

Hi Vanessi,

Are you still thinking of working abroad?

It's what I did after the person I thought I'd marry suddenly turned very strange. Taking a temporary job in another country, with totally new people, a different culture, and nothing to remind me of her was the best thing I could have done.

I went to work in France. It was brilliant. So many new experiences at work. And in the evenings and weekends, so much new stuff and new people to learn about. I'd no time for thinking about what might have been. Even grocery shopping was a totally new experience, because the French do things differently from in England.

It was only a 3 months contract, so I wasn't committing for the rest of my life. The big thing was it got me away from old haunts and exposed me to so many new things, that I didn't look back.

If you're looking to Europe, I'd suggest France, Portugal, Spain, or Italy. Their cultures are more open and welcoming than the northern Europeans or Scandinavians. There are also far more outdoor activities like festivals and food markets to keep you occupied.

Give it a go, Vanessi. If you aren't enjoying the experience, you can always go home.

Good-luck,

John