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Anxiety and Depression Support
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I’m screwed up. :( 💔

Everyone in my family makes me feel like I can’t do anything right, but I realized today that I actually can’t. My mom was right about me. She wishes I was never born and maybe she should bc I’m so xxx up. I’m 17 years old and can’t do anything right. I’m in high school and failed all of my classes.. idk how anyone can do that besides me... everyone in my family makes me feel like shit no matter what I do. I get Anxiety and pull my hair and I can’t stop myself from doing it... my family knows I do this and yell at me everyday threatening to take my phone, or my car when it has nothing to do with either of those things so even if they take it it would mean nothing. My mom cussed my life out every single day about it but if I could help myself I think I would. I’m very very insecure about everything. I think I’m fat, ugly, stupid, and bald.. what else can be worse than that... honestly I went to many doctors and no one can help me.. so I decided maybe someone can actually understand me on here unlike my family, friends, or anyone...

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I'm so sorry about this. I just wanted to say you are not alone.

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Thank u

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And you're not worthless. I know - I don't know you, but it's true.

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As far as the doctors go - they are not always helpful, I have found. But if you want help, I would say don't give up. You might be surprised to find a helpful therapist or counselor. But in the meantime, I'd say joining this was a good step.

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Doctors didn’t help.they told me to see a counselor but my mom doesn’t want to take me because she said no one has a problem this dumb as mine which is pulling my hair out

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Hi, I answered your other messages, I hope it kind of helped or at least made you feel less alone! That is so awful, I’m so sorry about your family. I know how you feel about the insecurities, I feel that way too. Please don’t give up, tons of people here are willing to listen and help you!!

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Thank you it means a lot

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I’m pretty much understand what you mean, I kind of go through the same stuff at home it my dad and it can be frustrating but it’s good to remember that they may not understand exactly what you’re going through. If you ever need a friend I’m here

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I tell them all the time how I’m feeling and they just think I’m stupid like they never heard something like this before

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You’re not stupid I just don’t think they understand. I know it’s hard to get people to understand what you’re feeling Bc they can’t feel what you’re feeling. They might not understand but I think they want to help otherwise they wouldn’t have taken you to the doctors

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Don't give up. People who put you down are missing something inside themselves. Don't take on their shit. I am a teacher. I see many kids like you. What are you good at? Art, music, a sport? Can your school counselor find you a mentor? Outside counselling takes a lot of time to set in. See if there is a group therapy session near you. I hated it at first, but changed to like my group. We read a lot about facing shame.

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Not really good at anything tbh.. my school counselor hates me cuz I failed everything and lie to my mom about my grades bc she can’t take the truth.

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Hi,

I’m sorry you’re going through this with your family. All I can say is when they want to take away your car or phone, they believe they’re doing the right thing. They really don’t know what to do.

You have to keep going to doctors to find the right one. I had a therapist after I told him something that happened he said “that’s fu*king crazy!” I didn’t want to see him any more. He didn’t understand me but I have a therapist now who understands me and she’s wonderful.

You have to keep going!

Come here, vent, talk or whatever. We’re all in the same boat.

Hugs, Dee

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Your young ,you have a whole life ahead of you . It's your choice to do what you want with it . Family support is good ,but sometimes they don't help . Been there ,did it "My Way " and my success from me only n for me only !! They were shocked ,they had me thinking I couldn't do anything !

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As I read your post I felt your pain and understand that you are angry at your family angry at the world but know this God sees all and if you can just pray & have a tiny bit of faith ask God to order your steps he will protect you & will guide you❤️

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Honestly you’re right that’s all I can do

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It may not be on your time but it will be right on time on God’s time trust and believe prayer changes things

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Sweetheart....you are amazing and your mom sounds like a real controll freak that needs a mental evaluation!.... Girl you got this!!!...start paying attention to others and you will realize how great you are and silly they are!

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It may not be on your time but it will be right on time on God’s time trust and believe prayer changes things

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I can relate to your situation. I feel so similar to you at your age. I'm only 26 now and still struggle with always trying to do "the right thing" or whatever my parents think is what I should do. I failed all through high school (starting at 6th grade honestly) and class made me feel so stupid bc I just didn't get it... But I somehow I ended up with a associates and a bachelors degree with a minor so do not let our crazy school system and family get in the way of future college dreams. High school means nothing in the long run and so will the people.

I had to get a job young and I think that helped when my parents tried being crontrolling of my phone or car. When I felt alone or trapped would get taken, I'd go buy a prepaid phone. It gave me independence to escape.

Keep your head up and don't get discouraged. If I could tell my 17 year old self anything, it'd be to hang on, things do get easier, life changes sooo much and so will you.

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Reading your post tore up my heart. I’m telling you right now: the way your mom is speaking to you is abusive. One more time for the kids in the back: THE WAY SHE IS SPEAKING TO YOU IS ABUSIVE.

Calling a child names, belittling their feelings, minimizing their struggles, and actively decreasing a child’s self value is NOT good parenting. Failing to get you help for your hair pulling is neglectful, and making fun of your struggles is abusive. That really sucks. Hard. I’m sorry that you are temporarily stuck with people who do not treasure, support, and lift you up. You deserve to be supported by your family.

Maybe you can find some understanding and possibly patience for their poor treatment of you by learning that they are most likely repeating a cycle of emotional ignorance, past trauma, and abusive treatment disguised as “parenting”. Most people who treat their kids the way you described were raised very harshly themselves. They think they’re parenting correctly because it’s all they know how to do. The sad fact is that these methods don’t work. They don’t produce successful adults, they produce adults with messed up coping mechanisms.

One of the other group members said you’re young and time is on your side. That’s true. I came from a similarly dysfunctional family and at 34 years old I can promise you- you CAN build a better life for yourself once you escape the toxic environment you’re in. If you can stick it out until you can safely move out, (not too far away at 17- especially if you start planning your escape route now!) I promise you can make your life into what you want it to be.

For some people, including my 2 older sisters, that can mean cutting contact with the abusive people in their lives. (My sisters haven’t spoken to or seen my father in 5 years and they are happier for it.) For other people, like myself, it means setting and maintaining clear boundaries with the abuser. I still love my dad and desire a relationship with him. I visit him in his home about 2x a month, earlier in the day so he’s not drunk yet, and if he has more than 2 beers an hour while I’m there, I get up and leave. If he starts to talk in a way that is mean, I get up and leave. At first, I used to just make a polite excuse for leaving, but as I’ve gotten stronger and he has learned my consistent responses, I’ve felt okay saying my needs outright to him. I say, “I’m not comfortable spending time with you when you get too drunk, so I’m just going to head home for now and I’ll see you next week.” Sometimes he sends me crazy rambling angry drunk emails. I Never answer those. I delete drunk voicemails. My boundaries are defined by my responses to his behaviors, consistently. He has learned from this, and his outbursts have decreased dramatically. Recently, I’d been visiting him for a few hours and I didn’t even notice he hadn’t been drinking at all until he asked if it was okay to have 1 beer to settle his nerves. (He locked himself out of his room and got very anxious. He has physical ailments and needs to sleep in his bed. A night on the couch would incapacitate him for possibly days) I said okay and we played cards together. That 1 beer turned into 3 over the course of the next couple hours and I decided it was late and time to go home.

Yes, my father outright physically and emotionally abused me until I moved out. Yes, I fucking hated him as a teen. Yes, my father is still a raging alcoholic. BUT, he has been capable of learning. We Do still have seeds of love left in our relationship worth nurturing. Losing contact with 1/3 his family taught him a hard lesson to appreciate what he has.

I can’t say my situation translates to your toxic home life, but I can say you ARE capable of coming to a point in your life where you Know you are in control of who is in it and what kinds of relationships you have. There is hope for a better future. Use that young (still growing!) brain for learning some basic psychology and where it goes wrong- it can be massively helpful in understanding a difficult family and our place in it.

You deserve supportive love. You deserve a family that praises your successes. You deserve to be told by your family that you are good, and capable, and worthy of love. I’m so sorry you’re not getting that from them. Please believe me when I say it because I mean it- you ARE good. You ARE capable. You ARE worthy of love. You keep on doing you, and trying to better yourself, and you will find the people you deserve in your life. ❤️

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I see a month has gone by. I hope your doing better. I to failed a lot of classes. Problem in my house was nobody noticed because nobody cared. I think your family cares about you and the hurtful things they say they don't mean. There just trying to light a fire. You know what I mean. Anyway hope all is well.

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