I’m so alone. But I’m afraid of change.

First of all thank you for all the great responses I’ve received on my earlier postings. I often have a hard time responding to them all, but thank you everyone. I have no friends, nobody at all. I can’t motivate myself to do something that will help me. Now I’m stuck with horrible anxiety and depression. Constantly worried about what would happen to me if I needed someone to help me, who would I turn to? I don’t want to live this way anymore, but Im not doing anything positive about it. According to my phychiatrist I lack self motivation, Im always thinking negative and have low self esteem. When I was younger, I always needed someone to push me into doing things or else I would avoid them. Now Im older and I’m scared. I hate what I’ve done to my life.

19 Replies

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Eowyn7

a year ago

There's always time to start doing things differently. You just have to decide that something is worth a try.

For me it helped to take it in very small steps. Make a list of activities you wish you could be doing or your "ideal self" might do. Hiking, yoga, a book club, cooking, some other hobby... then if that feels like enough, stop.

Then another day do a little research online to see where/when you might be able to do those activities. Keep a list of web pages/businesses that seem interesting. Then, if that feels like enough to tackle for one day, stop.

Finally pick a day on the calendar and say "on this day i will go to X place to check it out" or "on this day i will sign up for this activity". Give yourself a week or two so you can mentally prepare to make it a priority. Then when the day comes, do it. Follow through. If it doesn't work out, you don't like the people or the activity, that's ok. I guarantee you will feel like you accomplished something just by trying.

Shutterbug65

in reply to Jdavid2000

a year ago

Yep. That perfectly describes me. Most of my life I had someone I could turn to. Now I have no one. If something were to happen to me who would I turn to? I’m so scared of living my life this way. I listen to the advice I’m given but I don’t follow up on it. I’m often ashamed to see my phychiatrist because nothing ever changes. I never follow through with the advice she gives me. Like you said, "the do nothingness ". She tells me "no one is going to come to your door to help you". I need to make the first step, but I always have some kind of excuse, and fall back to doing nothing. I never make any plans, I just kind of drift along. And I’ve been this way my whole life.

I hate my life, I’m tired of being alone, and I’m scared of what will become of me. I live alone and have no friends except for those I work with. But they have their own lives.

I’m tired man, but thank you for taking the time to write.

Olivia40

in reply to Shutterbug65

a year ago

Hi.

We call the service befriending here in U.K. , usually you would have someth8ng similar in USA , perhaps your therapist would know...it’s a service whereby volunteers speak to each other on the telephone by arrangement on a regular basis, so obviously it’s one to one, or it can also be one on one to meet for coffee or a walk ...

I suggest it as I know it’s just too difficult for me to do group Situations whereas one to one I’m ok...the local volunteer bureaux in my area of the U.K. have a service such as this and I regularly meet a young lady for coffee and a chat...there are financial cut back so we don’t have as many of these services now but there are still some...I’m sure there would be something similar in your area....

Let me know how you get on if you get chance..

Good wishes x