Severe anxiety

[Sam_Walker]

I just received news that I will be taking the same bus to school as a bunch of people who bullied me in the past and even though I know I should let it go and try not to care what they say or think I am really panicked, anxious and sad. The news also triggered very bad anxiety about school in general. In most of my classes none of my friends will be with me, which I know is a silly reason to be anxious but I am. I will probably sit alone because I find it extremely hard to talk to anyone else and there aren’t a lot of people I would trust anyway because my school is tiny. I don’t know what else to do; every year I’ve tried to just put up with it and my anxiety, depression and stress just gets worse. I don’t know what to do, because I don’t think homeschooling would work and changing schools would be worse if not just as bad. Also, this is an important year and my marks will have an impact on the school I got to for university or college. I know all of this seems really unimportant but I’m just so upset. I know this seems like an ordinary thing for a teen to feel but my stomach is cramping and the anxiety is worse than it has been for a long time. I feel trapped. Thank you for reading, I hope you are all well : )

[HelpingElbow]

Hi Sam,

To be honest, that's almost everyone's story who happen to be alone, with few friends and less confidence.

My suggestion: Try not to react to your classmates' bully/mischief/actions. The only reason they have been doing this, is to incite a fear/anger within you and that's eating you gradually. So why succumb to their intentions? It's better if you don't give them what they want. Don't think too much, coz even I was bullied and even I had intentions of changing school. However, in the longer run, you will understand that these thoughts are futile.

Remember, you don't need hundred or thousand friends. Only few true and understanding friends are needed that's all. As far as your studies are concerned, I truly hope that you stay focused and concentrate on it.

[Sam_Walker in reply to HelpingElbow]

Thanks 🙂I will try harder to not let their judgements bother me. I feel guilty whenever I feel like they judge me because I know I’m the one judging them, which is exactly what I’m afraid of. What you said about friends was so true. I do have a couple friends, and even though it’s hard to trust them all the time I’m very grateful to have them.

[Natasha_1994]

hey, Sam_Walker! when i read your post, honestly, i was feeling sad. so so so so sad. cause it reminds me, how awful my best friends back then when i was in high school. they were practically my best friends, people who i trust so much in every aspects, but they just bullied me because of some stupid rumors. they chose to believe on those rumors rather than believe in me. i was also got that moment where i have no one around me at prom, graduation, and the after party. it tore me apart, it brokes my heart very badly. but then, i chose to enjoy every second of the moment in every occasion. and i find it kinda good that time can you maybe change bus? or switch bus with someone? i live in indonesia where there's no special school bus so i do not really know how it works. but hey, i am pretty sure you can handle it! if you trust yourself, you do not even know where your limits are! have a good day to you there! xx

[Sam_Walker in reply to Natasha_1994]

Hi Natasha_1994, that is so sad! It’s awful when friends break your trust! I’m glad you had fun even thought they did that to you I will try to contact the bus company to see if there is anything they can do. Thank you so much for your support It’s nice to know I’m not alone! I hope you have a good day as well!

[Hidden]

Hi Sam - I’m an adult and if this is how people in my workplace made me feel I’d raise the issue and they’d potentially lose their job. For some reason it works differently for teenagers/school - I’m not sure why that is and it shouldn’t be. Advice at work would be to keep a journal of incidents - where it happened, what happened, who was involved etc - this can be then used as evidence. Is there something similar you can do that you can then take to an adult/teacher??

For the bus route seat as near to the driver as you can? Put some upbeat music on and focus on some positive things, keeping in the present not worrying about the past or what the future holds - just sat right there watching the scenery go by, carefree music on

For the lessons try to suss out who looks friendly, maybe who else looks a bit nervous - I know we often think everyone else is brimming with confidence, social and know what they are doing all the time, but not everyone is like that - maybe there might be a kindered spirit somewhere. Even if you just have a small chat with someone in the class, it’s small steps.

I feel so far from being a teenager so not sure how practical this is but I hope it helps!

[Sam_Walker in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the advice! Writing it down sounds like a good idea, even if it’s just to vent my emotions. The problem is that it’s usually rumours, so I don’t know who starts it. Usually it’s just me being overly sensitive to snide remarks as well. Confiding in a teacher also sounds good; I do talk to my English teacher a bit, as she is the one who contacted my parents about the anxiety. You’re absolutely right about not everyone being super confident. I should try to get over my anxiety and talk to someone who might be nice. Thank you for your sympathy and advice, it was very helpful have a good day!

[hypercat54]

Hi you sound very young and I was just wondering how old you are please? x

[Sam_Walker]

Hello hypercat54 Yes, I’m only sixteen.

[Hidden]

It is important, Sam. You and your feelings matter. I admire how brave you are to just keep showing up and trying. And for sharing here. I was bullied long ago as a teen too, and was really shy and anxious. Thought it would never end. But it did and my life got lots better as an adult! You will get through this, and it is building strength inside you. We are here for you, kiddo.......stay strong.

[Sam_Walker in reply to Hidden]

Aww thank you so much Paris48 that’s so nice It’s good to know it gets better when you’re an adult. Have a good night!!

[Hidden in reply to Sam_Walker]

You too...I try to remember...It will all be ok in the end. If it is not ok now, all that means is that is isnt the end yet. Will be sending you thoughts of peace and light.

[faya]

Hi Sam, my Mama Bear instincts come out when I read your story bc I hate to hear about you feeling anxious and scared of these awful bullies. I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your parents. I wonder if they would have any insights into your situation (alternate transportation options, routes) in addition to the insights that others have shared here. I experienced a little bullying as a kid; it’s awful. One of my sons has had some bullying challenges. My ex and I were really pleased with one recent difficult situation and how the middle school responded when informed about it by my ex. I would talk through and/or go to great lengths if my kids were being bullied, and I would want to know and support them along the way. I was relieved when my son opened up to me about the incident even though it was embarrassing for him and he endured a lot before sharing about it. I’m not sure that his issue would have stopped without outside involvement (parent/school). My oldest son is 13 (then 12) but I don’t think that most of us are equipped to knowing how to handle the cruelty of bullies regarless of our age. And, I agree with Paris, remember that this too shall pass. It’s temporary. It gets better as you get older. Stay strong!

[Sam_Walker in reply to faya]

Hi faya I do talk to my parents sometimes and they would call the school if there was a specific incident, but unfortunately it’s mostly gossip and I’m kind of a loner and at the bottom of the social pyramid. Thank you for your support, it makes a real difference when I feel alone

Your kids are lucky to have such caring parents! I hope they aren’t being bullied anymore! Thanks again 😊

[faya in reply to Sam_Walker]

Hi Sam, glad to hear that the channels with your parents are an option. I want to echo what glendajean wrote. You seem really mature for your age and smart. Bullies are lame and cruel, and it makes me so mad that their behavior can go “unchecked” so frequently bc so many times people just don’t have the time or energy to want to deal with them. Gossip hurts. I can relate to being a loner and at the bottom of social pyramids. Keep pursuing any interests that you have. It’s nice to have connections (even small ones) with those who enjoy similar things.

[Hidden]

Sam. I just have to say you sound very intelligent and mature for your age. Keep posting. Take it one day at a time. Try to maybe look up some videos or books on self confidence. That’s a strong tool!! I remember my son hated school like that—got bullied and all of that crap. Probably none of those people would bully him now!!! We’re here for you!!

[Sam_Walker in reply to Hidden]

Hi Glendajean 😊 aww thank you!! Self confidence would help a lot, I’ll look for some books. I’m happy for your son, it’s good he didn’t let the bullying affect him too much and has done well!

Hope you are well

[Hidden]

You stay strong Sam. We’re rooting for you!!