Go Away Morning Anxiety

[hunter4ransom]

I’m so done with waking up EVERY morning with an anxiety attack. It’s seems that as soon as the sun rises and hits my eyelids, my body is flooded with adrenaline and fear and the negative thoughts and worst case scenarios start to play in my mind uncontrollably.

Since I joined a month ago, my anxiety has become less severe thanks to therapy, meds, and my friends here. However, I just can’t shake this morning routine of excessive worry that keeps me in bed way too long and often I just fall back asleep to start process over again.

I’m especially anxious this morning as I know my summer break is quickly coming to an end (I’m an educator) and school resumes in a few weeks. I have an opportunity to switch schools which would give me more hours and a needed change from the negative group I work with now. BUT.... change is scary. Even though my current school is stressful and very negative, I’ve been there 6 years and know and do my job very well. I’m very comfortable and in control there. My schedule is flexible which allows me to get my son to all his appointments/school. It’s predictable and very routine which I like. However, I have a chance to switch to a school with an amazing team/reputation and work in same classroom with good friend of mine. But, it will be new and I will have a lot to learn and adjust to... new staff, new building, new students, new schedule, new curriculum, new routines, and my son’s schedule will have to work around mine which will be difficult.......I worry my anxiety will take over and sabotage this.

I can feel my heart racing, hear my ears ringing, body is shaking, mouth dry, nauseous, cold tight sensations in my chest, and the excessive worry over EVERY little thing washing over me. I want this to go away!!!! Why can’t I wake up and feel normal? Will I ever wake up calm again or is this my new norm? What a miserable way to start every day when I’m working so hard on getting past this.

😩Eileen

[AZ1970]

If you close your eyes and quiet your body, what do you want to do in your heart? If you follow what brings you peace (either option has benefits), the rest will take care of itself. I don't wake up with anxiety. Usually mine is at bedtime. I have been trying to do new routines to break the cycle. I wonder if there is a new routine you could put in the morning? Maybe your favorite lotion by your bed to use as soon as your eyes open. Or a song that makes you feel good as your alarm. Sleep the opposite way on your bed so you wake up with a different view.

I used to be a teacher and I know the excitement and apprehension of the school year. I pray you settle on an answer soon so you don't have the anxiety hanging over your head. I am here to bounce ideas off of it you need someone to chat with.

[hunter4ransom in reply to AZ1970]

Thank you so much AZ1970. It’s so hard to find peace in the morning. I wake feeling so empty and alone. I have a boyfriend but he works out of town and only home on weekends. I have an 18 year old son, but he has sleep disorder and on autism spectrum so even when he is awake, he is in his room on his computer. I have a 17 year old daughter, but I feel I depend on her too much and she needs to enjoy her senior year and go off to college without letting worry for me hold her back. My main comfort/support for the past 7 years has been my boyfriends mom. She was placed in a nursing home in June due to advancing Alzheimer’s. I miss her so much and with all the stress I’ve been hit with this summer, I only just started to grieve the loss of my relationship with her. I’ve only been able to visit her twice and left in tears both times as we have to sneak out when we leave or she tantrums and becomes very combative about leaving. Some days it’s just too much to bare. Today is one of those days.

Good news is that by evening I feel much better and the despair of the morning has passed. It just sucks waiting for this anxiety to pass. It’s so painful and takes its toll.

Thanks for listening and letting me get this all out.

When I feel I have no where to go and no one to turn to, I come here. It has been healing.

[AZ1970 in reply to hunter4ransom]

You have a lot you are shouldering. I can understand why the days seem daunting. I also have a child with autism. I’m glad we have each other to lean on.

[Hidden in reply to hunter4ransom]

My hubby is gone all week, stinks, I feel so alone, so I come here!!! He's a trucker, it's a good job & in our area they are rare to come by! I understand you all to well!!! XXX

[AHMM]

Good morning!

I've always always had anxiety first thing in the morning. I use a rubbed ban, or plastic hair tie. I put it on my wrist and pull it back to make it snap. This sends a signal to your brain ( it hurts a little) and brings your mind back. I keep it on my stand and use it often. My psychiatrist recommended this.

The only thing is it leaves a small mark. I work from home so I don't mind it. Maybe do it closer to your elbow.

I wake up too to negative thoughts. Will I be sick, will I be able to work, is someone I know going to die? Anxiety makes no sense! The elastic snap has helped me A LOT

[hunter4ransom in reply to AHMM]

That is great idea! Thank you so much for sharing. I will try that.

[AHMM in reply to hunter4ransom]

My pleasure!

[Espinoza38]

I woke up the same way. Everyday with anxiety, the shaking, the ringing in the ears everything. God I disliked it. But the people on here helped me so much. I still have anxiety but not as much. For every negative thought I had I replaced it with a positive one. Of course the deep breathing exercises even tho I'm not that good at it. But I try. I started meditating and trying yoga. I also do the lotion thing as one of your friends suggested. Like I said I still have them but not as severe. It will get better just have to put a good routine in order. You got this.

[hunter4ransom in reply to Espinoza38]

Thank you Espinoza. Knowing you have dealt with this horrible morning anxiety and are doing better gives me hope. I’m trying all sorts of things to change up my mornings. I hate being broke and stuck at home, so I’m hoping going back to work in a few weeks will trigger a good change and not worse anxiety.

[Espinoza38 in reply to hunter4ransom]

I hear ya. At one point I wanted to quit my job. The thought of driving to work causes anxiety for me. But I knew I needed my job so I stayed. I do alot of different things to help me. Some I know dont work but I still do them. You will get better you just have to take a day at a time. Lots of positive vibes.

[Hidden]

I believe in you, now you have to. Oh this ugly disease, I hate it! Only you can make the choice & I wish you all the best. Stand strong for you my friend, in the end the results for you will be great. Love & Hugs!!! Oh take my joy today, sounds like you could use it. XXX

[hunter4ransom in reply to Hidden]

Thank you my friend. You are so kind. This disease is very ugly and so cruel. I fight it every day with all I have. Some days are good and I cherish those moments. The really bad days I just sit through the pain knowing it will pass. It’s odd how I can see hope and help others, but not myself.

[Hidden in reply to hunter4ransom]

That was a challenge for me up until a couple of weeks ago! I have to put myself first & that's okay. Love yourself, there's only one you...makes you very special! Love & Hugs!!!

[User1964]

Hi hunter4ransom, I completely understand what you're going through. I'm an educator as well. I am a special ed aide. I've been waking up with a panic attack, and don't want to get out of bed. I start work in a few weeks as well. I've been at this school site for 18 years, but it's getting so difficult within the last few years. Bad admin., bad teachers who cannot control the classroom. I keep hoping I'll win the lotto. lol. I too have negative thoughts such as, "They will put me in he/she room again. I can't deal with that." I am trying to change my negativity and think nice positive thoughts.

[hunter4ransom in reply to User1964]

You and I are two peas in a pod! I’m a k-6 special ed Paraeducator. I’ve been through 4 principals and 3 teachers in my room. Our school is very mismanaged and the students out of control. Every year it gets worse. I’m considered the teacher in my room and I’m not nor do I get paid enough for the stress. I’m pretty sure I’m taking leap to new school and fresh start. Now I’m having anxiety over starting anew and this new school has a dress code where my current school is casual dress (jeans and sneakers).

I’m 48 next month and going through changes too. Not in full blown menopause, but in beginning stages and it really messes with my anxiety.

I start back 8/30. When do you go back?

I’m so glad to have found someone who has so much in common with me.

😊

[User1964]

Oh, I'll be 54 in November. I think some of this negativity is coming from menopause.

[User1964]

Hi, I start back on the 27th. Ugh!! I assume you are in the states? I'm in California.

[hunter4ransom in reply to User1964]

Oh yes. I’m in the Seattle, WA area. I was born and raised in Bakersfield, CA.

[User1964]

Cool! My cousins all live in Washington

[PieceByPeace]

I am so sorry you are burdened down with this anxiety. It can cause such havoc in our lives. I can very much relate to this feeling. My anxiety usually has triggers that I can pinpoint. It happened to me today. I was on the phone with my husband and he started talking to me about a subject that I feel very uncomfortable about (regarding our stepson) and I immediately felt my heart leaping out of my chest. I felt trapped in a coffin and fearful. I got very quiet and as soon as we hung up I began pacing the floor of my bedroom. I'm a woman of faith so I immediately started praying and asking God to give me a word of some kind to help relieve that physical feeling I was having. I immediately thought of a scripture I'd read that morning so I went to my bible and found it and prayed some more. Eventually I settled down and the anxiety dissipated. I think for me (and maybe for you) it's caused by unresolved issues in our lives that we either don't think we have any control over therefore we do nothing or we truly don't have any control over and we do nothing. For me it's my stepson...possibly for you it's your job and your boyfriends mother. A lot of change in your life and you feel very unsettled. I will tell you what I told my son recently who just started high school. He's about to experience many changes in his life that may overwhelm him. But, just like the beginning of every school year, we endure through the first couple of weeks of transition and before we know it we can't remember what it was like during those crazy transitional days. We just have to endure through it and eventually we'll get to the other side...just like every year. If you take this new position you will do great. There will be that transition period of adjustment but that's life. It sounds like you have the tools you need to transition well and before you know it you'll be so glad you made the transition to the new school. New and better opportunities don't promise easy beginnings but they're worth the extra effort. I pray you will find peace and harmony in during and after your transition.

[Maxiomargie]

I guess I'm a little late replying to this, but your symptoms are just like mine. Far worse in the mornings. I have to get up at least an hour extra just to have some time for my anxiety to subside. It never really goes away. I work in a school too - in the business office, so I don't have summers off. The job is really stressful and is probably going to get worse because my immediate supervisor is leaving in a month. The thought terrifies me because I'm afraid they're going to expect a lot more from me but I'm not that familiar with her job. I just want to feel normal too. I see a doctor and therapist so I'm on medication. However nothing seems to work completely. How I wish this terrible anxiety would just go away. And it's a very physical feeling, I too get all shaky and can't think straight when it hits. My prayers are with you and everyone else on this board who deals with this treacherous affliction. Peace to all.

[Txaps]

How about an update?

[hunter4ransom in reply to Txaps]

I’m sorry for not giving an update in so long. It seems when we get better, we tend to move on and that is not fair to the dear friends I made here who supported, comforted, reassured, and guinelly cared about me.

I am doing very well since going back on Zoloft (the generic) last summer. I was on it for years and decided it was time to wean off when life hit me sideways. I started therapy with an amazing psychologist and weaned back onto my medication. I am happy to say I’m back to my old self and anxiety no longer controls me.

Desperately looking for change, I took on a new job at a new school in August and absolutely hated it. My previous school missed me dearly and asked me to come back. I went back in September and the love and appreciation I felt from staff and students was quite healing. I’m still there today and I couldn’t be any happier.

There were a number of things that led to me getting well and a lot of hard work on my part, but the biggest piece to this healing was getting back on Zoloft which works quite well for me. I know medication is not the answer for everyone, but it was for me.

My 18 year old son is now on disability for a sleep disorder and is doing well, my 17 year old daughter is an extremely intelligent young lady with college acceptance letters rolling in, we have a beautiful home we afford by working hard and renting out 2 bedrooms, my boyfriend and I are going on 7 years together and though we butt heads and aren’t perfect, we love and support each other very much, and I have 3 amazing little fur balls (chihuahuas) that are happy, healthy, and saw me through my darkest hours.

I hope my story lets others who are out there suffering from horrid anxiety know that there is hope and this monster can and will be overcome if you are up for the battle. I beat it, you can too.

❤️Eileen .... no longer sleepless in Seattle 😉

[Agora1 in reply to hunter4ransom]

Eileen, I smiled a big smile because of your post today. It couldn't have come

at a better time, although anytime is a good time for a success post. There are

so many who need the support and reassurance on this forum, that it can and will

happen for us in time. As you said, with hard work that we put into the most

important part of our life, Peace of Mind. It's not about just finding the right

medication but about working along with that med to change your life.

I couldn't be happier for you. What a way to go into the new year.

May 2019 and beyond continue to bless you with the happiness you so deserve.

Happy New Year Eileen! Hugs, Agora1 xx

[Bubba44]

I get it as well so I make sure I get up 2hrs earlier this helps me calm down my shaking hands and thoughts

[Txaps]

That's wonderful Eileen! I'm glad that things are working out for you and I pray your continued success! Btw I'm jealous that you live in Seattle. I loved it there when I visited!!