Life sux

[sandphoenix80]

Every day is a struggle to get out of bed. I have virtually no human contact. My husband is never ever home and doesn't speak to me. I don't even know why we are together. His family is awful they are mean, overbearing, very nosy and controlling. I lost my job due to anxiety. I do nothing every single day and I don't have to money to go anything either. I hate leaving my house but I hate being in my house if that makes any sense. I'm going back to school and I'm terrified at failing. I have severe social anxiety and I already feel like everyone will hate me and not talk to me like everyone in my life now.

[quieturban]

We are totally alike. I’m having similar issues too and finding it extremely difficult to cope. I’ve got severe social anxiety too. My husband is horrible too always giving me attitude even though I try to be a good wife. He’s constantly criticizing me and I just can’t take it anymore. He belittles me and call it a joke. How can you make jokes about someone like that. Do you guys have kids?

[sandphoenix80 in reply to quieturban]

Thank god no. That's one of the problems too. I wanted children. He got a vasectomy after his ex-wife so I jus have his step kids which are horrible!!!!!! They have no manners, eat garbage and only want me to get them fast food or take out, complain, and feel entitled to the world and ruin stuff That are mine. I always get stuck with them cuz I'm always here and he is not. He spends 0 time with them too. Anytime I say he should spend more time with them or myself he says he is trying to provide and makes me feel like useless basically cuz I'm not working right now waiting to go back to school. Even when he is here he has nothing to say to me but can talk to his moron friends forever and a day. I'm afraid to end things with him because then I will be completely alone. I have no friends and pretty much no sane family members.

[quieturban in reply to sandphoenix80]

I wanted kids badly too but because of my husband horrible mistakes it difficult for me to have any. I feel like I might never have due to our unique situation. But the thing is this is all his fault and he is not even trying. Why should I have to do all the hard work and in the end only failures and disappointments with not even him to console me. He tells me I need to grow up. Sorry about your step kids. Same thing with me too, I’m afraid of ending up alone maybe that’s why I’m still with him. He drinks a lot too sometimes with friends and had no regard how it affects me. Because he drinks and miss work and don’t like that. I feel close to none in my family. If they knew they would just criticize me for putting up with him so I just deal alone. Believe it’s hard and a lot of mental stress. The thing is I just Don’t know how long I can anymore. I pray for your strength and mine. Take care hun💙

[sandphoenix80 in reply to quieturban]

I know I shouldn't be talking but I don't think you should have kids with this person. It would be more difficult and financially hard for you to leave him if you do and if you have kids he might not be nice to them either esp if he drinks. I feel very blessed to have found this web site and to have met you and you have discuss your personal life with me. But I know how difficult it is to make that big step financially and emotionally and move on alone cuz I will go from little interaction to zero. If I do leave him, I plan on moving out of state close where my niece leaves and starting from scratch somewhere new.

[sandphoenix80 in reply to quieturban]

I hope my comment to you didn't make you upset...

[quieturban in reply to sandphoenix80]

No hun it didn’t make me upset. I’m just having so many issues right now. It doesn’t matter anyways. I might not have kids because I’ve tried and failed. I will just have to move on with my life and forget about that. Really hoping things get better for you.

[sandphoenix80 in reply to quieturban]

Sorry I forgot to ask if you had children?

[quieturban in reply to sandphoenix80]

I don’t have any children

[dee_bells]

sandphoenix80,

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I understand. I’m the same. I stay in my room all the time, have little to no human contact and same about my husband. I actually like being in my room.

Do you have a therapist? They could help you work through your social anxiety.

Do you like school?

I loved going back to school. It really made me feel like I was doing something for myself. Maybe you need anxiety medication that could help or there are herbal supplements.

I know it is so hard to push yourself as everyone says just do it. But baby steps.

I know you feel that everyone will hate you but you have to tell yourself, they don’t you. You’re a good person—they have to know you to hate you and they don’t know you. So that’s not possible.

You deserve to be happy, you can do this, focus on yourself and push thoughts of failure out of your mind. You are worthy of happiness.

I wish you all the best for you, take care of you! Hugs. 😁😁😁🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[sandphoenix80 in reply to dee_bells]

I do have a therapist for about 6 years now. Thank you for writing me. I'm actually on temp. disability for the anxiety issues. I feel like it gets worse when I'm older I didn't have these problems growing up. When I had the trauma and stuff but it's all affecting me now. I hate being home all day every day but I don't wanna leave either. I don't start school until mid September and I'm nervous about the interaction. I've been on literally every depression drug in every class and none of them work and since I lost my job I don't have any medical insurance. It's so easy to feel like I'm gonna fail cuz I flunked out of nursing school years ago and my dad always tells me I'm a failure and it's a waste of time and money to go to school. It was a big step to decide to go back to school cuz I'm afraid of failing and of the social anxiety. If i didn't have my pets, then I don't think there would be much to live for. I wish you thr best also

[dee_bells in reply to sandphoenix80]

You have got this! Prove your father wrong. You will be successful!

I understand that can come back to haunt you. Me too! I was in an abusive relationship—and I’ve been married a long time to a kind man but he says things that are snarky and it bothers me a lot.

What got me through a lot of things such as job interviews etc I pretended I was acting. I acted outgoing, confident and sure of myself. After a while I came to believe I was those things. It helped me a lot. Go back to school for you. I know you can do it and I believe in you!

All the best,

Dee😁😁😁😁

[sandphoenix80 in reply to dee_bells]

Thank you Dee that's very nice of you