Starting over

[rain_55]

It's been a week since my boyfriend broke up with me. Which I knew was going to happen. Honestly though it was still unexpected. He had finally had enough of always doing things for me and was desperate to be selfish and wanting to focus on himself. At first I couldnt handle it, I ended up in the hospital on a psych evaluation because I wanted to end my life. I ended up leaving hours later on new medication and strict orders to go back to therapy. I now have to learn to be on my own again. After 2 years of always having a warm body next to me, I have to learn to sleep alone again and wake up alone again. I have to focus on myself now, which I could never do before even without a boyfriend. Im scared shitless. I dont know if I can do this.

[Preciouslamb1]

Breakups are never easy ((Hugs)) your way. You can do this

[rain_55 in reply to Preciouslamb1]

Thank you

[Hidden]

Are you able to stay with family for some time while you adjust?

[rain_55 in reply to Hidden]

Yes but i dont want to be a burden

[Hidden in reply to rain_55]

I think your family loves you and would want to help you in your time of need.

[rain_55 in reply to Hidden]

but how can i learn to do things on my own if i have them to help me?

[Marshall64 in reply to rain_55]

I don't want to speak for Hear I Am, but you can still learn to do things on your own. It still helps to have a support system for the times you need it. That is true for anyone of any age.

[rain_55 in reply to Marshall64]

thats true you guys are right

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

I don’t mind. I welcome everyone’s input. Please don’t hesitate. We are all here to help each other.

[Hidden in reply to rain_55]

I hear you and that is a valid concern. Is their a way to work out boundaries while you stay with family? Like you will only let them help you so much? I live with my parents and I won’t let them do anything for me that I can do for myself. They respect those boundaries, and when they do not I remind them.

[David0987]

You can do this. Now is the time to allow others to help you and get the healing you need! Don't be afraid to ask for it. I don't know your family but most would do ANYTHING for their children that they love unconditionally. Take care and let us know how you are doing.

[rain_55 in reply to David0987]

thank you

[Hidden]

Break ups are always hard and it can be hard to adjust to the void it feels like it opens in your life but I believe you can do it. I don’t know you very well but take some time to yourself and don’t rush into anything. A little bit of selfishness is healthy otherwise you burn out, but I feel like if he had to leave you to be selfish enough to take care of himself you can find someone better for you if you take care of yourself and have some patience.

[rain_55 in reply to Hidden]

i dont know how to be selfish if that makes any sense

[Hidden in reply to rain_55]

It does because not everyone realizes that you can selfish in small ways that make life easier. I know I didn’t for the longest time. I needed hours to myself every week. People think of selfishness and they think of people who only think of themselves all the time. I don’t know what you do for fun or to relax but sometimes it’s the little things that help make the difference. Like taking the scenic route home because you have the time and it’s a beautiful day. Soaking in the bathtub or curling up under a blanket just a couple minutes extra. Ordering dessert and not feeling guilty about it. Even something as silly sounding as stepping outside, taking five deep breathes and just imagining your stress as a liquid flowing down your arms and out of your fingers.

You don’t have to take hours to yourself as helpful as that can be. I know they’re bad for me but sometimes I just like to go outside at night, sit down in a chair, light up an affordable cigar and basically just stare off into the distance for a while and enjoy the silence. Those 30 minutes or so I’m outside relax me so much. Try a few things, ideally things not detrimental to your health, and see if you can find something that just takes the edge off.

[Unclebuck455]

You got this! I know you can do it. YOU know you can do it, you just have to realize it. Let your friends and family help you as you need them. In the mean time, one day at a time, one small step at a time. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!