How to continue

[sad_watermelon]

I am really desperate right now. Everybody tells me to find new people, go on dates... But I feel like I won't be in a relationship again. I don't want some measles relationship. I want something true. True love.

So many years passed before I found my ex boyfriend and we didn't continue our love because of misaligned future goals.

I don't think I will find somebody else. Not in the following years. I truly don't want to be alone. You can't imagine how I'm desperate for a simple hug, just to feel the feeling of love again.

I always thought that my first partner will be my forever partner. But now I am afraid of something that will hurt me or go wrong.

How do I continue? How do I find people? I've been trying for a month and I couldn't find anyone. Juts some strange guy who scared me and with who I have nothing in common so I ended our communication.

[sad_watermelon]

I am moving abroad in a few weeks for university. I know you will tell me that that's when I'm gonna find people and maybe a partner, but please, understand that I am so scared of this moving. I will be all alone. I don't know anyone. I don't have somebody close to rely on so I can share my feelings, feel some support. I wish I had somebody...

[Alpakka123 in reply to sad_watermelon]

Actually no, I for one wasn't going to say that at all. Moving abroad is scary. My husband and I live abroad, and boy did it take time to get used to living here! New culture, new language (don't know if this is the case for you), new everything.

Good luck with the move! It will be alright!

[mizzou7016 in reply to sad_watermelon]

but in the same breath my friend....that is the excitement of it also...getting to know people,,,,developing new friendships and possible relationships...you will still have the people you have now.....I think being away from it will help you

[hypercat54]

I think personally its far too soon to be able to move on from your relationship. You need some time to lick your wounds and get your head back together.

So I would ignore all those who tell you just to move on as though it didn't matter. It did and it does.

I know its an old clique but time really is a great healer. For now concentrate on your future and you will be able to move on past it one day. We all do in the end you know.

[mizzou7016 in reply to hypercat54]

I will never say that it didn't matter or doesn't mean anything...but at the same time....she's contradicting herself a little bit by saying i want to move on from him....but then 10 minutes later she's saying that she wants him back,..hopefully at some point she will realize that she deserves better and won't settle for less than what she deserves

[hypercat54 in reply to mizzou7016]

No saying you would? But I think its quite usual to vaciliate between wanting them back and wanting them gone all at the same time. It is for us woman anyway.

[mizzou7016 in reply to hypercat54]

I totally get that....I've been/am the same way..I also agree with the idea that she needs to focus on herself right now.....she's getting ready to have a completely new experience

[1947treble]

Work on your loneliness and hatred of being alone BEFORE getting into another relationship. If you aren't content or whole alone no one else can fill that role.

[sad_watermelon in reply to 1947treble]

How can I do it? For preference without a therapist or a group?

[Alpakka123]

Hi,I think this is meant for sad_watermelon

[CLB1125]

Take your time. Time to get over this last relationship. Time to get to know yourself. I know you are afraid to move for school, that's totally understandable. Take one day at a time. Look for activities you like to do. You will find people who have the same interests are easier to start a conversion with. You have video chats and computers to keep in touch with family, and friends and us of course. 😆

You have a long life ahead of you. Enjoy your school time. Adulthood will smack you in the face soon enough. My sister-in-law didn't find her soulmate until her 40s. You don't find love, it finds you.❤️