First Post

[TheMeg]

I've never really delved deeply into my anxiety with anyone so this first post is pretty hard.

Everyone says talking about it will make you feel better but I come from a family where they make fun of stuff like this and have even said that saying there's chemical embalances in the brain is bullshit (please excuse my language) and have friends that tell me I just need to stop thinking about stuff so much and then I'll be fine.

I guess I'm just so tired of people acting like they understand what it means to have anxiety. Or using it so easily saying "oh this give me anxiety" when really they just mean that it stresses them out or they don't like it. I don't at all mean that people shouldn't be allowed to say what they want to say but I can't help but feel like it makes people think that they truly understand anxiety when they definitely don't.

I realize this is more than a rant than anything else and for that I'm sorry. I guess I just hope that there's people in here that understand what I mean. And understand what it's like to constantly have people tell you you just need to talk about it and then have those same people belittle what you're feeling when you do open up.

[Hidden]

Hello TheMeg,

Welcome to the forum.

You're now amongst friends. No one will laugh at you on here.

Ok, we might pull your leg sometimes, but that's to make you laugh. Everyone is on your side here, and there's no such thing as a silly question.

Feel free to rant and scream. Life is so unfair sometimes. And it's good to let it out. Even daft things, like my locking myself out of my house at 10 pm last night 🤪. (Oops! ... there goes my credibility. )

Nice to hear from you

John

[thatjuanguy]

People without anxiety just can’t understand it and it’s not their fault(though at the least it should never be fun off) and it can be annoying when they try but sometimes I truly think that people trying just want to make you “normal” and to a person who doesn’t have anxiety stress is the closest they know to compare they are definitely in the same family. There are definitely people here who understand mine personally is quite bad gives me hell all day everyday. And there’s nothing wrong with a good rant.

[Vajrapani]

Hi Meg

This kind of external denial of the reality of your suffering, and either deliberate or unintended judgment, is certainly tough. I guess part of the healing journey is to be able to not let these comments hurt you, and to find people who support you and have compassion.

Anxiety is very real. As you say, it is not just ‘stressing out’, it is not a ‘willed’ wholly conscious state. In my experience, it can seemingly come out of nowhere in fact.

You’ve made an important step here in seeking out and joining this group.

I just joined myself.

I wish you peace.

[Hidden]

I agree. I’ve dealt with anxiety since I was a child. Very shy, my parents didn’t really know what it was. They thought I was being stubborn or that I really didn’t want to participate in something when I actually genuinely did! I was perfectly fine with them. But I missed out on tons outside of the home. They also didn’t understand it later and saw it again, as me being a hot head, stubborn, angry... when really all I wanted was understanding.

I didn’t learn about anxiety until I was ready to graduate high school. I had no clue what ‘anxiety’ meant. A therapist at one time told me I was being rebellious and that there was no hope for me, if I didn’t help myself!... she didn’t realize that it was in fact anxiety that held me back from doing things.

I absolutely agree though. The word ‘anxiety’ gets thrown around a lot more than it used to and I wonder at times if some folks really have anxiety or if they’re just using the word because they hear it a lot or is it just worry and doubt. Maybe they do suffer anxiety to an extent (I think most people do) but it’s got nothing on deeper anxiety.

Anxiety is so misunderstood though. Some people think anxiety is something small that goes away over time. It’s mixed up with so many things.

I promise you though, there’s people that truly know what anxiety feels like. To suffer from it everyday. We’re here! Let me know if you need to voice it out and share together! I’m here for you!

[hunter4ransom]

Hi Meg and Welcome.

I agree with all the responses here. Anxiety is more than a stressful day, a worry, or a doubt. It’s a nagging monster that causes intense fear, debilitating worry/worst case scenarios, and a flood of miserable physical and emotional symptoms.

I’ve had it since I was child, but didn’t know what it was until my early 20s. I was always told I was too sensitive and to get over it. If only it were that easy.

I’m in my 40s now and had gone years without any anxiety issues thanks to stable life and medication. Well, several months back I decided to wean off my medication and life hit me sideways triggering the worst anxiety I’ve ever had. About 2 mo ago I started back on my meds and started therapy. It’s still a battle. I have good days and bad days.

Anxiety is something we desperately try to control, but can’t. It can be predictable when triggered or hit us out of the blue. What we can do is learn to manage it by connecting with others who understand, therapy, medication, meditation, exercise.... so many options and so much help.

I’m having bad anxiety this morning after 2 great days. It sucks!!!! But I know I will feel ok again.

You aren’t alone here. You have found a great group of people who won’t judge and truly understand.

Eileen

[Windy101]

I understand exactly what you're saying, as I have anxiety myself.

There is a big difference between clinical anxiety and feeling stressed out, worried, nervous, etc. Unfortunately, most people do not understand that.

My suggestion is to stop talking to them about it because they're not going to get it and it's just going to make you feel alone. It's like someone with clinical depression trying to relate to someone who's feeling temporarily sad.

Post here as much as you want and know that you're not alone. If you can get to a counselor, by all means go! And know that there are medications that can help with anxiety. You can feel a whole lot better with some treatment by a professional and talking to a person who's trained to support you.

Meanwhile, you're with friends here who understand and will never judge you for feeling anxious. Warm wishes to you, TheMeg.

[Lizardlover2]

Thank you so much for sharing. I firmly believe people are ignorant till they have had an anxiety attack or have dealt with real anxiety. It’s even worse when your family are the ones make you feel stupid. Chemical imbalances are a very real thing. You are among friends who know and truly care. I have dealt with it for years now. Your not alone. Hang in there.

[Choccymilk0807]

It’s like you read my mind. I hate when people use words like anxiety and depression when it’s really stress and sadness. And people are always so willing to help until they actually have to do something or confront emotions that they don’t understand. It sounds like they are just ignorant and have never experienced this kind of pain first hand. You are not the one to blame though, you aren’t in control of depression or anxiety. I know it’s hard, but the best thing I’ve realized is to try to let go of the pain you feel when the people around you don’t seem to want to save you from drowning. It was hard for me since I hold grudges easily but just remind yourself that we are all selfish creatures and that humans are afraid of things they don’t understand. Your family saying the chemical imbalance isn’t real could be their way of coping with watching you suffer and not knowing how to help. Anyways, sending you love and support always.