What came first??

[hurtingheart1]

Had a hard time knowing what to title this? Or to put my thoughts together in general on this topic!! But I guess I’m trying to ask a few things for 1 how can you really know whether in certain close relationships whether it’s you or them?? I mean if I have depression& or anxiety am I truly having an episode of this anxiety or feeling depressed and saddened from out of the blue or is something or even someone triggering me? And How do you truly know if someone is truly being toxic or unhealthy or even manipulative or emotionally abusive in your life or if it’s just your depression or anxiety talking?? Or is it both?? Or is it being to codependent or having too high expectations?? How do you decipher between all these?? I mean seems soo confusing like some things blur together or there are grey areas or something I’m just trying to understand? Not mistaking just imperfect regular old flawed human behavior with serious issues? Hope this makes sense I still feel like my questions will be unclear and maybe misinterpreted or misunderstood but what can I do this is hard!!🙃🤣😫

[Hidden]

I feel like this very often so I completely understand all you’ve written. My only take is I try one day at a time to manoeuvre through, it’s so difficult on some days but at this stage it’s all I got left to do

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for replying I knw it’s tough- I’ve just been listening to a really interesting podcast about toxic relationships- I’ll have to look up name & try share it in case you’re interested? Anyway 1 episode suggested watching a few YouTube videos 1 is -Jon Jorgensen a message to all women and another is Adam Roa - treat yourself like someone you love so I was just watching those they are really encouraging maybe I’d you wanna check them out?

[Hidden in reply to hurtingheart1]

I’d definitely be interested to watch, I tend to spend a lot of time searching for answers to my problems too, sometimes it’s so hard because I have no one to really talk to. Part of me knows I’m likely in a toxic situation but I also have a child so I don’t know what’s the best option to make things better. Urgh I’m so lost some days. And yes I do pray and lean on Gods words for comfort, hopefully things will change

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Hidden]

Yea Check out the videos and also maybe search for the podcasts to listen to as well 1 is just called toxic relationships I believe and another 1 I found sounds like could be helpful is called Love and Abuse-with Paul Coalianni -I think is his name? Maybe will have helpful info on healing and learning tools& what’s going on and help for getting healthier relationships!

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Hidden]

Also keep posting here- I’m rooting for you!!💕

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Hidden]

I also do find comfort in praying as well sometimes just pouring out my thoughts feelings worries and hopes maybe this can give you some comfort as well!!💞🌸🌼

[Needtovent]

I know about the turmoil of "what came first?". It gets confusing. My personal opinion however, is that if you are questioning whether a relationship is toxic, or abusive, it probably is. God is good. I hope you get the support you need here, but nore importantly, at home!

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Needtovent]

Thank you! I know that’s how or why it’s hard to post this question and I’m not sure how to ask or word it because it seems obvious & clear there’s unhealthiness or some toxicity in the relationship but I don’t want to confuse what’s going on wher or from whom? -some of it is likely my anxiety and pain or anxiety or issues that need to heal but some is surly external and from unhealthy ways of thinking on part of others I know & love- it’s just hard to decipher which & when you get soo many diff. Points of view from everywhere on how to be & how to feel & as a woman being told-so many messages- “be stronger” “your stronger than you think” “be thicker skinned” “you’re too emotional” “too sensitive!!” “Don’t let things bother you soo much”,”let it go”, “don’t hold on to things”, you can do it all- work, be a wife, be a mother, have pets, be a good friend, a good daughter, be interesting be attractive & thin and workout and be smart and fun -be a super woman basically and don’t be afraid or anxious or feel panic and sad or depressed” in a crazy world & told “try to just control your emotions”! Some of this is just the norm in this world! Some of this can be out internal pressure &thoughts and some is pressure from others! Maybe- I’m rambling on or venting out soo many thoughts now??! Hopefully what I’m saying though is making sense though!!

[Needtovent in reply to hurtingheart1]

Yes it makes sense. Are you able to seek out a therapist? That’s the best way to sort through it all. If so, search for someone who specializes in women’s issues. I didn’t mean to sound too conclusive as to the issues. I know how they all get jumbled together. With a therapist it might be good to look at your patterns of behavior in various situations so that you can work on making small changes. xoxo

[hurtingheart1 in reply to Needtovent]

Yes & thank you☺️