My first post and hopefully someone can relate

[Booklover05]

I'm getting a divorce and right now my relationship with my husband is not good. I suffer from depression and anxiety and he feels annoyed by it. I've been married for 14 years and we have a lot of bad blood between us. He has a really strong personality and always asks me why am I being lazy. I personally feel like I do a lot, but it's never good enough for him. When I feel like I tried hard he will tell me I didn't try hard enough. I have low self-esteem due to being abused as a child and he makes it worse.

I don't believe in suicide, but when he starts going on a rant saying mean stuff about me I really feel like I don't want to be here. He acts like I want to be depressed. My depression is not as bad as it used to be, but some days are still difficult.

[Hidden]

Good riddance!! I was abused as a child too and emotionally by my first husband. Hopefully when you are on your own you will see your worth. The future is bright and holds many possibilities. Be happy in change. Good luck. I am proof there is happiness on the other side.

[Booklover05 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I have three kids and been a stay at home mom for a long time. I worked part time jobs, but scared for the future, but at the same time I think I will be happier without someone telling me what to do all the time. I'm glad you are doing well.

[Marshall64 in reply to Booklover05]

It sounds like you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Raising three kids is no easy task, especially when you have a critic while doing it.

Divorce is not easy but it is also not insurmountable. I went through it and came out okay. Hopefully you guys can be amicable for the kids. Your husband sounds like he had issues that he needs to work through at least for the kids.

Good luck to you.

[mrmonk]

Hello Booklover05,

My marriage of over twelve years is on its last legs and has been fraught since the beginning. We just had another fight tonight, in fact, and it's left me feeling even more exhausted and despairing than I already am -- so, I can definitely relate in some ways to how you are feeling.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing abuse heaped onto abuse. Sadly, I can relate to that, too.

It seems like you are taking the right steps to end the vicious cycle of abuse, and that's something in which to take pride. I also think it's good that you're reaching out here, as there are so many kind and supportive folks who will listen with understanding. This forum has seen me through some rough times, for sure. I'm usually around if you ever need to talk or vent.

From one book lover to another, take care and be well.

[Jack112288]

Pour a glass of wine and tune him out lol but no seriously if you know your doing the best of whatever it is your doing then that fine a selfish person will always want more and more even when your giving him/her your all

[Hidden]

Totally get it. That’s on him he’s frustrated he never walked in your shoes ... others don’t get trauma like that. It doesn’t matter now what he thinks ... it hurts but the best choice is to choose yourself even if he thought really good things they belong to him .. divorce is awful hard very emotional people do crazy things say crazy things so if he says mean things just say I’m frustrated too divorce is hard let’s just not say stuff and let the lawyers deal with it I want the best for us both. I guess when he does all that wrong try to remember what he did right at one point in your lives hold onto that to get through & depression is an emotion an appropriate one in divorce

[WVArcher]

I totally get it. I went through that with my ex. Things between us got so bad that I volunteered for extra overtime to stay away from her. When I changed jobs everything flipped and she asked for divorce. At the time she tried to say it was because I bought some lawn tools aka chainsaw. She went around telling everyone I was unstable and violently angry, while she secretly had another guy. It nearly cost my job with the school system. I had to show proof to the court that I was ok.

[Matti61]

Hi Booklover05

I am sorry to hear of your troubles, but you have forgotten one thing, you are already a survivor, you have strength and purpose, A divorce is very stressful but is sometimes necessary. You deserve a man who will treat you like a queen and love you the right way. Whatever hurts you is not helping you. Hold your head up and love and believe in you and start your life of new experiences and hope.

[Want2BHappy3]

I'm guessing you live together? You should get out if you can? I went through a nasty divorce myself Long time ago. I had to leave or someone was going to get Hurt. He was verbally abusive to me and my kids. He tried to get me and my kids kicked out by making things up. The police refuse to do it, he knew he was lying. Don't waste you're time trying to explain to anyone about your anxiety and depression, they don't understand nor do they care. They just want it to go away. Get counseling