Hard Times

[KTilley]

I am a active duty member who was diagnosed with Anxiety, depression and PTSD....my wife after then years wanted to separate cause she said I need help....all I can is think about losing my family and if I do I will nothing to survive for

[hunter4ransom]

You joined a wonderful group and that is a step in the right direction. You are openly sharing your fears which is also huge.

If your wife has never experienced the excruciating pain of anxiety, depression, or PTSD it may be hard for her to understand and support you when the symptoms get too much for you to handle on your own. Would she be open to going to therapy with you?

There are a lot of treatment options out there and you don’t have to suffer alone. You find what works for you and go with it. For me, I have to be on Zoloft. It works great for my anxiety and I also started seeing a therapist once a week. She is amazing and helps me put things in perspective and makes me feel that life and my feelings are not as scary and horrible as my overthinking brain makes it seem.

I’m glad you are here.

You are not alone in this battle any longer. You have us if/when needed.

Eileen

[KTilley]

Yea we tried that

[Hidden]

Hello KTilley!

You still have yourself to live for! Losing your wife doesn’t have to be the end of the line for you by a long shot! Do you have children? If so, they will be needing you.

Have you explored therapy fully? What kind of progress have you made? Do you actively help yourself? Are you taking medication? Just some questions to ask yourself...

I’m so sorry that you’re in such a bad head space. I hope things work out for you as they’re meant to!! 🙂

[KTilley in reply to Hidden]

Yep I am on meds, done therapy, pretty much the last thing left was a support group

[Hidden in reply to KTilley]

Good...you don’t think your marriage will survive? Has it improved with the changes you have made?

[KTilley in reply to Hidden]

I don’t know what to do because we are separated and I think she is over it

[Hidden in reply to KTilley]

I see...is the marriage worth saving for you? If it is, have you said and done all you can think of to get her back?

[KTilley in reply to Hidden]

Yea I felt like I have tried everything

[Hidden in reply to KTilley]

Maybe you have tried everything, and it’s time to let time work on her heart. Let her have her space and work on yourself. Let her come back to you in her time.

[Hidden in reply to KTilley]

Then you’re ok with it? I guess you’ve done all you can. You don’t sound very passionate about the situation, but that’s the difficulty with not talking in person!

[Fishmonster]

May I ask if you have tried everything what help does she think you need?

I just want to get a better understanding so I can be a help if I can

[Flaweddesign]

As a veteran, I appreciate your service and I understand it feels impossible adjusting back to civilian life. I dont have PTSD and I am not sure what situation you were in but I'm here to listen. I know it's difficult to talk to your buddies about this and you made a right choice joining this. We are all here to talk to.

[KTilley]

The only thing me and my wife have tried together was marriage counseling that’s it

[b1b1b1]

You say you have had therapy, but for how long? Therapy can be a very slow process and can take years. You should probably continue with it on an ongoing basis.

[Imakook]

Like LynnAlice, I think giving your wife some space is a good idea. Just consider this your journey towards a new tomorrow! Sound flowery & lame? Well, Sir.....it is. But that doesn't mean it isn't true or that it isn't exciting. It's also frightening.

I also very much appreciate your service, KTilley.

My dad was in WWII straight out of high school. Then he married my mom, who was 18. He went into the Korean Conflict as a Marine. He learned how to drink tons & hide his shit. A big part of his drinking had to do with pain from serious injuries.

He & Mom did stay married for 17 years, but they were severe alcoholics & violent with each other. I only recently, at 60 years, realized that living THAT "dream" can & did result in PTSD. Who knew? I also have some serious ADHD.

I have found therapy, meds, physical therapies (I have spine issues due to advancing arthritis) and, ESPECIALLY, this group. I belong to AA and this reminds me so much of meetings I go to & that I love. There's comraderie. Experience in all things imaginable, unconditional love & hope.

I hope you stick around, KTilley. There are never-ending opportunities to help & be helped...often at the same time.

Thanks again!,

Colleen

[Imakook]

Hey! I forgot to add that I also have Depression & Anxiety. Look how much we already have in common! Lol!

[gogogirl]

Welcome, and I am sure you hear it often Thank you for your service, and sorry you are going through this with your family. Welcome to this group. Many people these days cannot imagine what it's like to experience being in the service. I hope you can continue to talk/be with other veterans who have experienced being in the military first hand. My late father was in WW2.