Things aren’t so great. They could be worse though. Life, slipping away, by me trying to just make it through the day. I want to make great days happen, make people smile, but I barely just make it by and I typically want to die each day. Unsettled. Disturbed. Triggered easily. Clinging onto what little hope there seems to be. Why am I not happy, but dangling from a scary place in the rocks, climbing out the best I can only to be thrown back against the mountain to climb up? Need strength.
I like to believe my kids are watched over by not only me, but by angels also. Like during school and sleep. They deserve it. Lately I feel I’m not enough for them. It’s hard to keep up with them. I say a guardian angel prayer every day with them. It can give some peace. I want to believe. Seems too good to be true though. I wish I had my faith back because that used to make me feel stronger, comforted. Wishing... just thinking... just wanted to share so my thoughts are not so lonely.
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Starrlight
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You are not on your own I could have written your words about myself today.. I will pray for you. Don't give up on your faith it will help you through these difficult times, I know it helps me. Stay strong your children love and need you.x
My daughter is grown up but I feel she still needs me. She keeps saying that she wants her mum back as we have always been the best of friends and I feel sad that I am not able to be like I was.
It's nice you have one older child I'm sure he/she is a great asset to the two younger ones which must help you especially in difficult times. You sound like you are a terrific mum and I bet your kids love you to bits. I pray that you will get well soon and be able to enjoy each day with your lovely family. My prayers are with you just have fath x
I really am sorry to hear you are feeling so depressed. Depression robs us of hope and the ability to feel positive. Your children really do need you in their life. They love you and you clearly love them so much. You sound like such a loving parent.
Thank you so much...yes I love them more than anything and I am here for them but I get scared that there are things I can’t help them enough with while I am this way. I do my best.
All you can do is your best. It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. I know depression makes us doubt ourselves a lot. You sound like a lovely person.
Thank you so much for the kind words. It is hard to focus when we are depressed but I have seen your posts on here. Your love for your children is clear.
Your faith doesn’t always have to be solid and strong. Part of what faith is you know someone has your back when you’re low. I’ve gone through times when I’ve just looked at my kids getting on the bus and said ‘hedge of thorns’ and for myself felt nothing. Mother Theresa felt disconnected from God and was depressed the last 3 years of her life. It didn’t stop God from using her and working through her. Sometimes you’re simply the vessel. You’re mom. Love your kids and know that you only needed to ask God once to protect your kids. Put your energy into loving your kids. Gods got your back. When you aren’t so worn out mentally you’ll feel it again.
Mother Theresa asked God from the beginning of her ministry to take away any "warm fuzzy" feelings about his presence in her life...she asked that because she wanted to know and share the hopeless, lonely feelings that the people she ministered to were feeling. She wanted to be aware of just what they needed to hear and feel coming from her and her nuns and others who helped. He granted her request. You can read about it if you read her life story written by someone/anyone who has a spiritual background and is willing to research and mention this. Not so with a secular autobiographer. I wish more people understood this sacrifice and caring of hers. An amazing woman, yes?
Starrlight, if we here can see your obvious love and caring for your children, how much more so it is obvious to them, is it not? As a mom of 3 who went through similar circumstances, I'm quite confident of this. They are all old enough for your love to shine through your darkness and reach them unequivocally! If they were under 1 or 2 yrs. of age, I might not be so confident. By their ages they KNOW. They might still want more from you, kids can be that way, but in their hearts and minds I believe they have a confidence that comes from knowing your mom loves you very much.
God is so active and present in my life and that of others I know that I have no doubt of his existence. I cannot deny the truth of him and I don't want to. He is awesomely loving despite the evil that comes into our lives. Let yourself be loved by him, please. You will be better off for it and I wish you that improvement. Be blessed! You are loved and worth it! 💖🙏🤗🌿☀️🎈💐🥀💜
Sweetheart, do yourself a favour and investigate Byron Katie's book - Loving What Is' - The Work. Thoughts cause emotions, right? This book shows you to feel the difference between a negative thought and the stressful emotions it causes which is ultimately, a lie that we have been believing for generations! it's all about taking four powerful questions back into a replay of memory, the the thought and emotions and really looking to see if it's true.... once you realise who you are without the thought, you feel calm and peaceful. This is the indication that the thought is a story and if it causes you stress or depression then the thought (which is a belief) is NOT true. 😁. It's all about finding out what's true for you. Try it, what have you got to lose? You owe it to yourself to feel better and see where the actual cause is coming from. My self-awareness grows inch by inch everyday and I wake up every morning with a new understanding... A deeper understanding. It's four very powerful questions that open your mind. Remember, thoughts are the cause and we can't open our hearts to anyone and ourselves if our thoughts are blocking our heart. This is the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Xxx💙💚✌️
Faith is hungry. We have to feed it. I like to listen to audiobooks of the Bible. There are some amazing and strange things in there. There are a lot of good inspirational speakers as well. Your thoughts aren't alone. They will last forever.
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Cant seem to get through this
I feel like I need to cut my family out of my life, and it's frightening me
