Hi Guys, this is my first post on here so please bear with me.
Just over a month ago i left my bartender job because of my anxiety, (working with drunk people late at night is a recipe for panic attacks) without a second job lined up, as the anxiety was so bad i didn’t feel as though i could bear another day/night there.
Shortly after that, i tried sertraline for my anxiety and depression and it just caused mood swings - either too happy, or uncontrollable sadness. I’ve now been off it for two days and i feel less detached and depersonalised.
However, my mood is terrible. I am still getting mood swings, but it’s mostly a very low mood, intense sadness and sobbing. It usually just happens in the morning and continues through the day. This morning for example, i got very upset about something very minor that my boyfriend mentioned, and along with the overwhelm of just existing and the day ahead of me, i’ve been sobbing for about two hours.
I’ve also experienced a huge urge to cry after seeing people, for example after having lunch with my dad who i don’t see very often. Not a sad cry, a cry of “ah that was nice”. But it’s so extreme!
I’ve been under a lot of stress recently - and although i have found a new job, i have experienced some very strong and hard-to-ignore delusions that people aren’t who they say they are, and everyone close to me including my parents secretly despise me. Right now, i can say with full confidence that it isn’t true, but in the moment i fully believe it. I’m starting to wonder if i’m becoming psychotic from severe anxiety and stress...
I apologise for the sheer length of this drabble but i am feeling so intensely isolated and need advice or just anything!