Alone and Depressed on the 4th

[jpsmith]

I’m all alone and very depressed today and don’t have anyone to talk to. It was almost exactly a year ago today that I was manic and in the hospital so at least I’m not going to spend my summer in the hospital but strangely enough there was more to do in the hospital than where I live now. I just sit around watching tv waiting for bed time so I can escape the day. I am so bored and have nothing to do. All I’ve done today is go to a morning AA meeting, eat, take a nap and watch tv...I also showered which I do everyday. I’m completely miserable with my life and sometimes wish there was a way out of this hell that I’m living.

[_amabelizzario]

I feel the same, even more in"special" dates when I think I was supposed to be doing something like everybody is, like going out with friends or something. I don't know if you relate to that, but usually when a actually get to do something is not as good as I thought. Do what makes you feel good. I like reading so I'm doing a lot of it now. Anyway If you need to talk today, you can talk me on the chat.

[Brittney07]

I'm always here.

[MrZee in reply to Brittney07]

Thank you

[MrZee]

Yes, I’m alone on the 4th too. Also I’m feeling anxious today. Basically I’m watching TV or staring out the window. It hurts feeling lonely on a holiday. My only saving grace for today is this website knowing that I’m not alone with my struggles.

I certainly can empathize.

Best,

MZ

[Hidden]

I watched a South Park marathon and now watching a twilight zone marathon. Brings back memories watching them with my brother and sister.

[Lindabellle]

Take pride in the things you did accomplish today. You did some positives for yourself--a meeting, nourishment, rest. Do you have any creative interests? Even small things like doodling or coloring help me. Just a thought for you. I am cheering you on!

[sheila1kerry]

It sounds as if you have isolated yourself for some reason. If you are spending a lot of time on your own it will add to your boredom and your problems will become magnified because that is all you have to focus on.

I have no idea of the type of area you live in and i don’t want to sound patronising but have you thought about contacting a charity to ask if there is anything you can do to help. It would be a good way for you to get back to meeting people. A friend of mine used to do a couple of hours in a charity shop once a week and it really helped her to get used to people again.

It is so sad to think you have cut yourself off from people. There are some good ones, you just have to find them.

Take care, i hope things get better for you.

Sheila1kerry

[LittleMsSunshine]

Hey Jpsmith,

First off, Congratulations on getting yourself to an AA meeting. For you to be feeling this way and still show up to your meeting is nothing short of amazing. On days like these why not try to speak with your sponsor 2 or 3 times or call fellow members and just share your thoughts. Because there's so much drinking involved during the holidays it's probably best you were alone because you don't want to lose your sobriety over 24 hours. For me just being alone is depressing. I stay at home and just hide away until the day passes by. It really sucks but if we stay strong, there's tomorrow. Just try to make it to tomorrow. And don't pick up, no matter what, you've come so far to turn back now.

Love and Light