Depressed and alone

[Daisy777]

I’ve been suffering with depression off and on all my life. Now at 59 years old it’s back big time!! I have pain in my body, had cancer, have feet problems and back issues. Have a strenuous job that doesn’t help and I’ve been single now for 15 years. I’m not happy with my life!!! I’m lonely and I feel so alone. Don’t have a supportive family anymore and I need a life!!! I don’t do anything fun anymore and I don’t have the desire or energy anymore.. I hate feeling this way. I don’t care if I live or die. I’d rather not feel this way. Anyone else feel like me????

[Hidden]

Yes, Daisy. I've felt like this, too. I'm sorry it is hitting you so hard right now. Tell us what you used to do for fun?

[Hidden]

Hello Daisy!

I’m so sorry you’re struggling...I understand. I need you to live, my friend! Where are you with medication? Do you still see a Psychiatrist or therapist? I’m 57 and understand about physical issues affecting your mental issues. It’s hard and the physical symptoms just keep coming, affecting us negatively. My job is also strenuous, but I chose that for myself currently because I needed a challenge. You can get through this episode! Wishing you peace and sending you hugs!

[Daisy777 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I’m not on any meds or seeing a therapist. I take pain meds when needed and something for sleep. I hate taking anything because of side effects. I have no energy and don’t feel like I can go on some days!

[Hidden in reply to Daisy777]

You probably need to bite the bullet and see a Psychiatrist or therapist. The side-effects I experience with my psych meds are well worth it to me. But, to each his own. There’s no sense in suffering if you don’t have to. Especially if you feel like you can’t go on some days. Think about it!

[Daisy777 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I will.

[Lazy_dog_lover]

I am sorry you are so down right now. Do you have a counselor or doctor that you see? Can you go for a walk? Is there a group therapy session near you? Sometimes group therapy helps you feel like you are not alone in the battle. Keep chugging away.

[Shanedavey]

Yes I do!!!

Let me start by letting you know where I'm at right now.

It's 3:45 am I woke up about 30 minutes ago and my mind is trying to torment me by feeding me the usual guilt and remorse feelings by way of reminding me about all the regrettable decisions I've made in the past. But I know "it" won't stop there. When I quickly and effectively defeat that attempt "it" comes at me with anger reminding me about all the people who have done me wrong and sometimes very wrong. You see "it" knows this is the only chance that it has to really get to me. I am at my most vulnerable right now being more asleep than awake and wanting nothing more than to just go back to sleep. This happens about once every two weeks sometimes more, sometimes less.

"it" will keep after me until it wins or I get up, wake up, and kick "it's" fucking ass!

I too have suffered all my life with this. "it" used to have physical problems as a ally in it's war against me and that is a big problem that you have to address and not let it keep you trapped. I know from personal experience something else will go wrong and start being a new physical setback.

I am sorry dear I could go on and on but I will cut down to the bottom line and if you want to know more reply to the post and I'll start giving you more details about how I deal with "it".

First of all I still have social problems that are complicated and have yet to be effectively knocked down. I don't want you to think that I am a complete success because I am not but I can say my war is down to the final battle and it is the bloodiest one them all.

You have to fight it. I found out that nobody can do this for me. Therapists tried their hardest and God bless them. They all have had the patience of a saint and good intentions and not to mention the fact that a true success story has to be rare to not existent and they all are still there doing their best and trying to find something that will help even a little.

Unless you have to deal with it you can't hope to understand "it".

try this to start,

you know when depression is on it's way just prior to the negative thoughts you feel the physical effect. The wave that starts on the top of your head and goes down to your toes flowing over you like a chill but it's not cold or hot but it's there. You have to address "it" right then and there, recognize "it". start treating it like "it" is a enemy invading your mind.

Many times I have stopped what I was doing, I have pulled over when it has happened when I was driving more times than I could count and addressed it out loud and always with contempt.

This has turned out to be my favorite opening line "fuck you you're a liar, even if I fail and believe you it is still all lies. My belief in it cannot make it true."

Don't give up! you are going to fail over and over again the thoughts and feelings set in quick it is the hardest thing You will ever do and its exhausting you have to try to tell it its a liar while being mentally degraded and you know it shows up any time with only that brief warning.

if you keep trying you will get it before it gets you and don't stop! just let the thoughts flow at it.

i have never felt as good as i did when I realized that the wave came and went and I wasn't depressed no negative thoughts I was as I was before the wave.

I BEAT IT!

AND SO CAN YOU!

now it is just like a reflex in my mind I am shooting it with thoughts before the wave reaches my toes.

there are more battles but once you have won one everything changes.

I will pray for you

[Daisy777]

Thank you! It does have a hold on me . Some days are better than others. Empty feelings no energy, feel like what is the fricken use!! I’m not happy with my life as a matter of fact I’m just plain ole miserable all the time. I dread every day it seems like. There has to be more to life than this!! I know I need change but at my age and health there’s not many options out there. I do cleaning for a living, have been for the last 7 years. Used to do customer service. Been looking for other work but no one is interested in me. Another bummer!! I don’t know what to do anymore. My family which now consists of a daughter, brother and sister don’t want to be bothered with my issues. This is a lonely spot I’m in.

[maslater]

It sounds like you need to get some professional help. Don’t feel bad or guilty about it you deserve some peace in your life.

[Rowand]

Oh Daisy, I so understand and am so sorry you're feeling this right now. I've got cancer too and that by itself is hard to deal with. Have you considered counseling? It really can help to have someone to talk to about all these things. Also are you currently involved in a church body? If so, there are probably people there who would like to become part of your life. If not, perhaps find a local church and visit it. I know I wouldn't have gotten through a lot of "stuff" without my faith and my church family. Also, sometimes finding an organization in your neighborhood that could use your help as a volunteer (it could be at a sit down activity so as not to task your strength) is a great way to start building friends and even have some fun. Many time when we help others we feel so much better, and actually help ourselves. Don't be afraid to reach out to others for either help or to help them. Both really work.

[techguy]

Hi

I am 59 as well went through clinical depression and anxiety on an off for 18 years. Someone recommended acupuncture to get rid of both. After 5 sessions I was free of both. I recommend you try it but first make sure that the doc has treated people for Depression and anxiety and had success

[gbrickhouse]

Hey Daisy, well. it sounds to me like you need to go back on your meds! The side effects aren't bad, or in my case, they didn't exist! Give them another try, and if your feeling lonely, just email me here!