Today kinda sucks...

[Lindabellle]

Today should be a celebration...It is my adult son's birthday plus he received a promotion. at work. We are meeting in a couple of hours--he, his girlfriend, and my daughter for dinner. Sounds great, right? ALL I can focus on is that his promotion requires that he move 6 hours away from here. He leaves tomorrow. I know I am feeling sorry for my dang self as I sit here in tears. I am fearful that I will sit at dinner and cry. How do I make myself not do that? Who would want to be around that? This weakness sucks. Furthermore, my long-time boyfriend gave me another "I'm sorry" for not being honest with me again. An apology from him seems to be his way of excusing himself for poor relationship behavior. Everything is a-okay if followed by "I'm sorry". The relationship needs to end; it's not fulfilling. But, I am too weak to do that, too. Yesterday my doctor prescribed Lexapro, but I won't begin to take it until tomorrow so that I can have a glass of wine at dinner tonight. What should I expect from that med? I feel like I should apologize to all of you for writing such negative things. Ha! The "I'm sorry" thing is rubbing off on me.

[peanutbuttercup]

I’d cry if my son were moving away. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Pretty healthy sounding. It is also exciting for him too. Just remember we live in the age of texting, Facebook, instawhatever, Skype, etc. you’ll probably here from him more now than you did before. 😁

[Agora1 in reply to peanutbuttercup]

Exactly what I was thinking xx

[peanutbuttercup in reply to Agora1]

Great minds...😁 How is your day going Agora?

[Agora1 in reply to peanutbuttercup]

Great day, looking forward to a great evening xx

Enjoy yours as well.

[b1b1b1 in reply to Agora1]

Me too!

[Agora1 in reply to b1b1b1]

xx

[Agora1]

Hi Lindabellle, As for Lexapro, I've been on it 5 years and have never felt better. For me, it's been a god send. Clear headed, doesn't make me tired, have energy to do things. Each person is different, I can only hope you feel as I do on it.

As for tonight, have that glass of wine in celebration for your son. It's okay for a mom to shed some tears on an occasion like this. No reason to say "you're sorry". It's okay to feel emotion. As peanutbuttercup said, you will probably hear from him more often than you do now. There's no hiding or being distant anymore. You are just a message away.

Use some deep breathing at the dinner table to help contain the overwhelming emotions you will feel. You will be okay. Tell yourself that over and over again until your mind accepts that thought. We have to let our kids go at some time. That's what true love is about. Remember: there are but two lasting bequests we can give our children, The first is roots and the last is wings.

Enjoy your party xx

[Lindabellle in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your support. We had a couple of great hours together at the restaurant enjoying each other's company. I was able to keep my composure, though sometimes barely, while having dinner. (When I am emotional--even when emotions are expected--mine go into overdrive. I can have a panic attack, melt into an inconsolable ball, become cold/crass, etc. Never quite sure how my emotions will manifest.) Once in the parking lot saying goodbye...well, that's another story... I cried, but you know what? So did my daughter, son, and his girlfriend! Rational thoughts/feelings/emotions--yay!

[Agora1 in reply to Lindabellle]

You did fantastic Lindabellle. I'm proud of you, be proud of yourself. You see, it's okay to feel emotions and shed some tears. It's absolutely normal as you found out.

We're human. xx

[MrZee]

Lindabelle,

No it’s not negative, it’s human. As for the Lexapro, I’m in no means a doctor. But what I do know is it will take a while to kick in and feel better (on the average 3 weeks). That’s been the case with my being on antidepressant meds for over 3 decades.

Your son moving away is a loss. That’s real and nothing to be ashamed of. Perhaps at dinner you can be honest and let him know you’re feeling sadness with the loss of his moving away, yet proud of his promotion. You can always regularly see him on Skype or Facetime. It’s not being in person. Yet it’s being able to see each other in conversation.

As for your primary relationship, I’m not sure what to say. But I can relate to what you are going through there.

I wish you all my best.

MZ

[old-soul]

Re: your kid - what would you tell your best friend is it were her and not you in that situation? Maybe you'd give her a little more grace? Maybe tell your boy you're not good at "strong" when you are sad, and wish you could manage to not cry, but really, he DOES want to have you come to dinner with him, and he's probably known you . . . um . . . AWHILE, and he loves you and wants to spend time with you, so it must be you're not so bad, hu?

Re your old man . . . well, I rarely give relationship to women who are IN a relationship, because I wouldn't want some guy doing that with my woman, but here goes.

It's like ripping off a band-aid. Once it's off it only gets better, so long as you don't bump into the band-aid with it's new . . . attachment, so, the best thing is to hire a hit man. Be out of town when he gets whacked. Don't pay them with a check, cash only. Those two parts are very important. I know, I know, it seems extreme, but hey, at least you never have to deal with that awkward situation when you bump into him with some other chick.