so called "friends"

[Cb_23]

I am currently in the worst depression I have ever experienced. Which means my anxiety is out of control too. My employer is "investigating" how I have been using my FMLA. There are days I cry all day, then others where I just so tired I can't move. I am sure my employer is going to try and fire me.

So you think while I am going through all this, my best friend would be cheering me on and being supportive. She texted me today telling me that she thinks with my issues I will never find a job and I can't get better unless I make a point to see the correct people to help me. Seriously? As soon as I noticed the change In anxiety, I contacted my psychiatrist and she put me on a new med and recommended a therapist. I know see the therapist every week. What else should I be doing? I am following my doctors orders.

I think have enough people who think I am a failure to start a club. I tried to explain to my "friend' that this isn't like the flu. It won't be gone in 3 days. This is something I fight on a daily basis. She then told me there was no reason for me to get so defensive. OMG. At that point I had to put the phone away from me.

I don't have the strength or the desire to make her understand. Is this someone I need to put some distance between? I don't know if I can forgive this anytime soon.

My husband says she is trying to be supportive and she is just doing a bad job. I wanted to get some other peoples opinions please.

Thanks.

[b1b1b1]

It doesn't matter what she thinks. Don't discuss it with her, if it upsets you.

[fauxartist]

As far as your friend goes...I have said this before: 'it's like explaining what ice cream tastes like to a Martian'... if you don't have depression or some other form of mental illness or addiciction....then you won't be able to fully understand someone who is trying to explain what it's like.

If you have given your employer the medical paper work showing you have therapy, and are under care....and you provide this to them, and you have done your part filling out any necessary paper work informing your employer...then you should be okay. I only am saying what I just read...you should find out more...here's one website I went to that may help you : businessmanagementdaily.com...

[hypercat54]

What's FMLA? As far as your friend goes I agree with your husband. Would you be able to fully understand someone else's issues unless you had experienced it for yourself? I find if someone doesn't get it then they don't and there is no point in trying to talk to them about it much. A little bit maybe but not more.

Your friend probably doesn't know what to say or do so make it easier for her and tell her how she can help you. x

[rando1000]

Some people can be sympathetic even without truly understanding a problem, but I think for most their limit will be hit relatively soon and they will become exasperated. In my experience people who suffer from mental disorder are some of the best non-professional support for each other, despite having problems of their own to deal with, because they know what it's like and thus have empathy.

[Hidden]

You are in a really tough place. Please go on disability for a while, you don’t need the stress of work while trying to recover. It maybe a while before you are well enough to work again, but so be it. Medication, therapy, journaling, gathering support from family and friends where possible, getting into a 12 step program, spiritual life, self care including exercise are all part of healing. I recommend you watch Douglas Bloch on YouTube.

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Hidden]

I also agree that going off the work would be beneficial. Talk to your doctor if he can help. If that’s not possible maybe vacation?

[Hidden]

I think some people just will never ever understand! So I think in these low times in life surround yourself with supportive and caring people x (that could mean the people on this site sometimes)

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Hidden]

People on this site understand. They are tremendous help and anytime you need you can reach out. Responses come within minutes. Empathetic ones! That’s way better than “friends” that take a day to text back and when they do they hurt even more.

[Madison10]

Dear CB

That’s the employers job to investigate, is there a possibility someone to him a few lies. You are under a doctors care, they can’t fire you. I worked in Human Resources, if they want to get rid of you, they will find a way.

Anybody who has not experience depression or anxiety doesn’t know our daily struggles. It’s not something you get over. I tired of attempting to explain myself, I don’t bother anymore, too much energy. My wife and I have different definitions of depression, it’s an illness and we just can’t get over it. How you deal with your friend is up to you. If someone would say that to me, I would prolly say, I don’t remember asking for your opinion . One of my pet peeves is people just constantly give you their opinion. If someone asks, then that different. Try to find things to take your mind off. Maybe music, a book, meditation. You can find a lot of people on this site to talk too. I struggle each day with depression, anxiety and PTSD

[seekjoydaily]

So sorry that you are going through all this right now. Sometimes friends care but don't know the correct way to help. I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now, but concentrate on getting healthy and normalizing your emotions right now and it sounds like you are doing that by going to your psychiatrist and therapist and following your doctor's orders. Good for you! Sounds like you are on the right path for now. Keep up the hard work. Once you feel better you can reconnect with your friend.