Lost

[lulu324]

ive never tried anything like this before.... Im 9 months pregnant and struggling with depression. I think its because of my baby that I want to try my best to feel better. Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years now but I feel like my thoughts and anxiety and depression are becoming too much. He tells me I can talk about things openly but when I do, I feel crazy and like I'm an idiot for feeling that way.... Maybe he's right... it is my own head and I just need to stop overthinking. I don't know what to do. I wish I was stronger. I hate that he's seen this side of me.

[fauxartist]

depression is not your fault...it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. However....your hormones are all out of wack too....have you always had depression or has it increased since our pregnancy?

[lulu324 in reply to fauxartist]

I have before and I think my pregnancy triggered it this time around... I don’t want to feel like this when the baby comes...

[fauxartist in reply to lulu324]

Talk to your doctor lulu, and see what they suggest. If your breast feeding you would not of course be able to take meds, but maybe being able to be guided through this for now with a therapist will help...

[arcenciel]

I can completely relate that you hate that your boyfriend has seen this side of you. It's something we try to hide from everyone we know - even those we love the most. We feel like lunatics, like losers, and we don't want those around us thinking that we're unstable in any way. It's a sad situation, which is why I only share with a therapist the specifics of my anxieties and depressive thoughts. We are all under so much strain that we need that one hour per week (if we're lucky enough to have access to that) just to get these things off our chests. It's unbearable. When I'm getting ready for a therapy appointment, I don't even know what I'll start with because there are so many things I could start with.

[lulu324 in reply to arcenciel]

I feel like that’s what I should do, start seeing a therapist and only share the deep stuff with her/him. It’s the worst feeling and I know he says I’m strong but I feel the complete opposite when opening up.

Thanks for sharing btw

[Midnightwolf1]

Listen, I understand what you are talking about. I have bad depression to and when I try to talk to my father about it, he tells me its in my head and that I need to stop overthinking everything but they don't understand like people who are struggling with depression. Just keep trying at some point, you'll get through the storm and I bet when your baby come into the world he or she will help you out of depression.

[lulu324 in reply to Midnightwolf1]

Thank you so much for this. It’s the first time I have people tell me they understand, thank you

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to lulu324]

Of course, It's good to know people understand the struggle of depression or whatever it may be.

[thatsme1579]

Talk to your OB, because if you can get access to help now, it will be better for you and your child. I went through a similar situation but because of the hormone fluctuations, my depression became worse after my child was born. I had severe postpartum depression and it made connecting with my baby and husband almost impossible no matter how badly I wanted it. It isn’t your fault or anything to be ashamed of but please try to get help now. I never talked to my doctor until I was in the worst of it so it was hard to fight back against the depression so the sooner you try to begin your self care before your baby is born it could potentially make things better so you can enjoy being with/bonding with your baby and boyfriend. Surround yourself with people you love and trust. I had isolated myself unintentionally thinking I could handle it all, but it also only made things harder.

[lulu324 in reply to thatsme1579]

Thank you so much for your advice. I will definitely look for help ASAP. I hope you’re doing better now btw