Feeling lost.

[ckw1]

I don't know how to explain my feelings of anxiety and depression today. Usually there is something that triggers me to begin to feel like this but I don't have any explanation for this today. I started to feel this coming on yesterday and thought that I could talk myself through it but when I woke up this morning I had feelings of absolute dread and disappointment. A lot of he time when this happens I can pinpoint what is causing it, but today it seems to be happening for no reason at all. It's like fighting an enemy while you're blindfolded and you keep swinging but you never make contact and all the while your opponent keeps landing blows that you never see coming. It can be so draining and discouraging to do this day in and day out.

[Hidden]

clw1 sometimes this is the cruel side of anxiety and depression sometimes you feel utterly shite but cannot put on your finger on why. Then we put so much energy into seeking to get this reason/answer and go round in circles perhaps not even getting answer. This then makes us more stressed more down and more anxious. I can relate to you, and you are bang on when you say how discouraging and draining it is. We are here for you let us know if we can help

[ckw1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I'm trying to stay focused on not letting this get the better of me. I suffered with depression and anxiety for years and I know how the cycle of torment goes. But no matter how many times you have to deal with it, it never seems to get any better or make anymore sense. You would think that after so many years of dealing with it a person could develop someway of making it easier to just get through the day.

[Fortynfedup]

I struggle most days like you are describing and it is torture, upsetting, lonely and unfair. Yes I'm throwing my dummy out the pram today, having anxiety/depression sucks!!!!

I have looked for answers to all the where when and why questions, opened Pandora box and know a lot of the answers. Now, well, knowing the answers hasn't made my symptoms go away but it has stopped me labelling myself as "stupid" or "crazy".

Lots of things can increase levels of anxiety, hormones, caffeine, too much of the wrong foods, stress, bereavement, toxic friends/family, time of day, lack of excersize, weather and tiredness. I personally find that morning are a struggle for me, especially if I have not had enough sleep. Lack of sleep is a major hurdle for me.

I attended a group therapy session which explained all the information regarding these conditions, it helped me a lot to realise, I'm not alone, I'm not crazy and I sometimes have an element of control by heeding the triggers I've mentioned.

In saying that, I also know that some days, nothing helps, but I've had to try and accept that it's not a failing it's just part of me. No-one would expect someone with sore leg to run around the room so if I'm not well of my best but I refuse these days to punish myself mentally for it.

I hope I've helped a little x

[ckw1 in reply to Fortynfedup]

Thank you. It helps to know that there are others who go through this same stuff. It makes me feel a little less crazy. Maybe I'm not loosing my mind after all.

[Fortynfedup in reply to ckw1]

We are not losing our minds. We are not crazy. We are not faking it. We are people with an invisible struggle. Anyone can make it through a good day. Making it through a bad day, it takes great strength. That is what defines us x

[Hidden]

well summed up fortynfedup these are such true words

[Fortynfedup in reply to Hidden]

The people on this site have helped me so very much, sharing their stories and lending a shoulder.

We rock lol

X

[Hidden in reply to Fortynfedup]

We are all here for you even in private chat if you feel safer talking with someone on that facility. we have all had pain and hurt and perhaps are all going through hell right now but we shall always be there for one another

[ckw1]

Sometimes I think it would be easier to just give up. I get so tired of this constant battle and lately it seems I have more bad days than good. But I know that I can't let it win, to many people depend and care for me, for all of us. Thank you all for your words of caring.

[Hidden in reply to ckw1]

I do understand it can feel easier to give up, I have been there right on the edge. I have now realised it takes a stronger person to stand up and fight than to let it win. exactly you are loved, cared for and supported by those around You I hope and no need to thank me

[ckw1]

At this point, I'd give anything for a moment of peace from my own thoughts and feelings that I've been going through the past few days. It would be awesome if I could remove myself from my brain and just relax.

[Lostjoy in reply to ckw1]

I get to feeling the same way. I just get tired of struggling every morning. I haven't been to work for awhile. Luckily I work with my husband, so he is able to do it alone for a bit, but doesn't make nearly as much as when I am with him. Plus we don't have health insurance other than liberty health share which does not cover any mental health at all.

I wish we could all get together and change the way mental health is looked at. It is not considered a medical condition. Most who have never experienced it believe that we can fix it if we try with our minds hard enough. Believe me I have tried. I would give anything to feel normal, and have some joy back in my life.

Sorry I kind of got off topic on your post, but this is what is on my mind today. My morning was horrible, and I just want to give up at times also, but I have 3 kids (grown) but they would still be devastated. I don't want to set the example that when things get tough you give up.

Wishing everyone here healing!

[Lostjoy in reply to Lostjoy]

By the way.. this site is a life saver for me..

[Hidden]

I feel the same, it's a constant struggle

[yeja]

it is simply amazing to me how everyone who suffers from depression use the same exact description of how they feel. the mornings are always the hardest, i think there is a chemical definition of this, but i used to describe it as a train coming towards me slowly, then it hits and i feel this warm sensation and boom im in that dark hole. i cannot move, cannot get out of bed, eat, even opening my eyes is painful. a definite chemical occurance has happened. The fact that we all describe it the same way, proves that its not made up but a definite illness with symptoms. When i get like that I put on a you tube of meditation music, I try to focus my attention on the music so my mind doesnt wander. That sometimes helps, but medication is what really gets me through all of it.

[Erica-Leah]

Thank u all for sharing. I'm learning so much from all of you. I am trying to help a friend and I am at a loss on how. He seems fine but there are days and nights when he is just so sad. He has been like this for a long time. I just want to help him.