PTSD Takes Control

[Olinick]

I knew I was going downhill in the past several weeks and I knew I needed to get in to see my therapist. What I was thinking was just the anxiety and depression was actually the PTSD. I know what she said makes sense but it was hard to hear that the PTSD was taking over my life again. I know it is all related but for some reason thinking it is just anxiety and depression seems to be a better thing than the PTSD. I have to work hard now to control it and not let it control me. She also suggested a book for me to read so I am heading to the bookstore to pick up the book. I hate it when my life is control by my disorders.

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry your feeling like your disease is controlling your life...but it's a struggle everyday to take back our life and learn to live our life with our disease and not let it control us. We are not defined by our labels...our disease does not define us...what we choose to do with our life is who we are. We just happen to have additional struggles some other people may not have...but everyone has something...trust me on this one...there isn't someone either struggling with their own issues, or has someone in their family struggling, or just life is a struggle for most these days...so just except this is a challenge and you are dealing with it head on...your in therapy, your sharing here, and your reading books....all of this is taking your life back and taking control of the direction you want your life to go

[Olinick in reply to fauxartist]

You know you're right. Since I wrote this post this morning I have felt better than I have in weeks. I tend to hold everything in so maybe talking to the therapist and writing here helped. Thanks so much for your reply.

[fauxartist in reply to Olinick]

it makes me very happy for you .....writing helps me a lot....a whole lot and therapy with the right fit of a therapist can move you forward in understanding and personal growth. Other positive outlets like art,photography, painting, drawing, ceramics can also help build self esteem and self worth, positive self expression, if you just let yourself have fun with it more so than trying to be the next Picasso....but that's not ruled out either...you never know till you try....

[Olinick in reply to fauxartist]

Actually it is interesting you wrote about the arts. I had always wanted to be a writer and started writing for children after becoming a teacher. In 2005 I was accepted into a collage program for writing geared towards teachers. That summer I got to chapter 3 of an early reader chapter book. In July of 2006 I was hit by lightning and it all ended. At first the therapists and doctors thought some of my symptoms (migraines were out of control but the writing hit me the hardest) were due to stress. People have suggested I keep trying to get back to writing and I have but it only comes in short bursts. My mother was an artist, my brother is in the art field but through computer graphics and video making, my father was in the writing field but through the business industry. So I was raised with arts and writing. It was a part of my life. Even though I didn't do as much with art I did find it relaxing to sit and do something creative. Since the lightning strike, however, I find it more frustrating the relaxing. Some times I can spend time doing something creative but again it is only for short bursts. I really do miss it and haven't found much to replace what I lost. Now the therapist and doctors are thinking there was something that occurred when I was hit and not just due to stress. If anyone has any suggestions of other ideas that would be great. I do some crochet and do it a lot for a period of time and then stop. I use to do beautiful and detailed counted cross stitch but the patience is gone for that. Sometimes I try those adult coloring books with the different designs and have a ton of those books but again, I can do it for short period and then become frustrated.

[CazO46]

I know it's easy for me to say but maybe try and not get too hung up on the words. You feel what you feel no matter what others call it. I good to hear you have taken steps to help yourself, we are here with you too X

[Olinick in reply to CazO46]

Thanks so much.