Anxiety sooo bad!!

[lovedogs51511]

My mom and I went to set,up my wells Fargo acct and I wanted to run home I felt so judged and anxiety was so bad I felt like a panic attack was coming on! I had to sign the ppwk so I couldn't leave. I felt the walls were closing in around me. Then had to go to DMV to get temporary license plates for this new scooter. Where my mom lives is the DMV and you basically walk in and get helped. Ppl in her town all gave me the dirtiest looks. No one smiled or was nice. I was like the hell with you ppl. Just glad I live in a nicer city! Since smoking so much my face has severe sagging skin around the mouth just like my dad had. I'm thinking thanks for the horrible genes! Lol. I feel so much anxiety when ppl look at me with disgust. It drives me to have such severe anxiety. I'm terrified to go outside! Anyone relate to getting panic attacks when anywhere near ppl? I just can't get past,it and enjoy life! Oh my stepdad is also treating my sweet loving older brother and I like crap. He agrees with me he feels hated by him like I do. We don't care anymore but we feel that its just plain rude! My brother and I are so close and that's why I just love him so much. We love our mom. I'm sorry I'm rambling lol. I just feel all alone with this severe anxiety cause no one in my family deals with this. Its always just me. Anyhoo, just feeling really depressed! Does anyone here have body dismorphic disorder? I have a friend who can relate. Anyone else suffer with this and how do you get over it? Thanks friends!😀😎

[hypercat54]

Hi lovedogs why would anyone look at you with disgust? It takes a lot of effort to despise someone so what awful things have you done to deserve this?

Similarly you know people aren't judging you as why should they? People are much more worried about themselves to devote much time to judging others. Have you ever had CBT? I think this could help you. x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to hypercat54]

They do judge cause of the saggy skin around my mouth. Its that bad from smoking. Plus I'm still trying to give cigs up. Its genetics cause my dad had the same sagging from smoking. The damage is done so I just have to try and deal with it. It just causes me severe crippling anxiety that being around ppl is impossible. I didn't do anything awful I'm not mean to anyone. I'm to nice to ppl and then they s--t on me. I'm getting so tired of it. So I just stay,home. Anyhoo thanks for the message. Like you and others on this site are very nice ppl. Just wish it was like that in person!

[hypercat54 in reply to lovedogs51511]

Well if people judge you and give you despicable looks because of sagging mouth skin then I wonder how much they would judge and despise me coz of my bad acne or people who are obese, ugly, deformed. Very few of us are perfect and I presume those judging are themselves perfect! No way. x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to hypercat54]

I understand what your saying. It just hurts being judged so badly. The sagging got very severe due losing almost 30 pounds. So the weight in my face that helped disguise it is now gone and the skin sagging is beyond humiliating. Ppl just stare at my mouth and make me feel suicidal. I will not leave my condo unless necessary like for my Dr appt and if I ever work part time. Nobody will hire me looking like this tho!!! I wish I could just get a gun and get the courage to shoot myself!!! Sorry I'm just severely depressed. Hope your having a great day.

[hypercat54 in reply to lovedogs51511]

Hi never apologise please. If we can't be non judgemental and understanding on here then we can't be anywhere.

I think the clue is being severely depressed and your depression thoughts tricking you into believing you are being judged and found wanting. Don't listen to those thoughts as they are false. It is you judging yourself and putting it onto others believing they are looking down on you. x

[lovedogs51511 in reply to hypercat54]

Its not the depression its how I feel everyday good days and bad days. Its really bad cause of the weight loss so now it's super loose skin hanging. Trust me you can see it cause my mom sees it and others stare at my mouth with the God how disgusting look. I'm just not going outside ever unless its midnight to 4 am. No one will see me then. I'm way to sick and tired of the bullshit from rude ppl. I just can't deal with ppls crap. I don't deserve to be treated that way so ill just stay home I guess. That's the only solution.