new to group

[critto]

Hello, My name is christian 46 yrs. old and I am new to this group. I have had anxiety since I was 9. I was born In venezuela. When I was 9 my grandmother who raised me passed. Within 3 months we sold the house and Moved to Newton MA. not speaking the language you can imagine my world was turned upside down. I had much trouble adapting, skipping school, walking out of school during recess etc.

My mom took to me to see someone and I was diagnosed with major anxiety. Through out the yrs. some how it went away. But it never does. My parents got divorced and we moved around a lot in Newton, 6 houses to be exact.

As an adult it gets bad, some attacks last up to 3 hrs. if I can control them they come by as you all know. The over thinking part is the worst. My son's mother and I separated 8 yrs. ago and she was a major trigger so was and still is my brother, as much I as love him he just does not understand and I really don't have any commom ground with his wife. I've deleted a lot of my old friends as they still party like they're 20 yrs. old and some are judgmental. i guess what I'm saying is get rid of the haters and bad ppl.

PPL who don't know about this and you try to explain, just don't get it. I've been taking oxazepam for 3 yrs. now and it helps. I've been aslo working on not caring so much about what other ppl think such as " what are you taking" "you don't need that"........and my response is...ignorance is awful, ask before you judge.

I hope for some positive input from any of you. have a great wknd.

~Christian

[BonnieSue]

Hi Christian,

How are you today? I wonder if you can enjoy being with people without revealing your anxiety or your meds? Just enjoy the moment and talk about other things and play pool or a game or simply talk but not about personal mental health because they aren't going to understand you unless you 1st find out that they are in the 1-2 % of people that do actually have personal knowledge about mental health matters? And only THEN you might talk about your personal mental health?

Why subject yourself to the scrutiny of the uninitiated and the uninformed by discussing things they have no knowledge of, or worse, are misinformed about? Are you honestly seeking their approval? Because if that's what's behind all of this revelation, you need to get serious about this impromtu education and give full presentations of balanced and complete educations regarding today's diagnosis and treatments for anxiety and depression. There's no way you can do this in, let's say, an hour's talking, which is far more time than you give as it is now. This is why I recommend that you simply avoid talking about the subject at all with strangers.

[MHillqt in reply to BonnieSue]

Bonnie respectfully disagree i.e. How can you have true friends who won't attempt to understand yet you have to listen to their minor problems and keep your hidden?

[BonnieSue in reply to MHillqt]

I am talking about meeting people for the 1st few times where you are just getting to know them. At this point you aren't true friends at all. You're just acquaintances learning about each other a little bit at a time. Revealing personal problems and shortcomings isn't appropriate for these initial conversations for the most part. I don't think that you should present your most vulnerable side, or your ugliest personal problems upon meeting someone.

Sometimes people seem to think they should air their dirtiest laundry right up front as a test to see if new acquaintances will still be interested in being their friend. That's backwards, imho. Friendships are formed by connecting with people when you find you share some common thoughts or hobbies or interests. You go with the things you both agree on and have some enthusiasm for. Then as the friendship grows, and when the time is right, you can mention a personal inadequacy and the bond of friendship should hopefully be strong enough to endure the personal revelation. At least you've had some time to explore and enjoy the things that you have in common, because these are at least as important if not more so than the things you don't share an interest in.

[critto]

the whole point is to be honest not "airing dirty laundry".....to be up front and honest

I work in the Food and Beverage industry, which entails BS ing half the time with fake ppl

I've done it for so long I actually started believing half the things I said. Which in point I only seek honesty and good ppl that's all.

[BonnieSue]

Thank you for your opinion. I've saved your words so I can refer to them should this question come up again. It'll help me should I need to give mine again. You put it so well, and I agree with you.

[BonnieSue]

Please forgive me, I didn't intend to sound pompous. I was trying to give credit where it was due.

[Hidden]

Okay, that's a relief about the pompousness. You made several good points. Oh, fudge! Now my user name and pic have changed!! What to do?!?

[Hidden]

Well, I made them change, but I didn't mean to. Since it's of my own doing I have to solve it myself by deciding what I want to do first of all.

[Hidden]

Thank you!