Family

So had a discussion with my brother about my bout of depression and anxiety. He said why was I wasting money on therapy and I should just get over it and move on. I tried explaining to him my feelings and the pain both physical and mental that go along with this. He just started chastising me and told me not to upset our mom with this crap. I hung up on him he kept calling back leaving awful voicemails. I have blocked his number as I don’t need anymore crap from him. Not sure I want to go home for Easter this weekend and have to face him at moms. It really hurts when you can’t count on your own blood to support you.

I don’t even feel like getting out of bed today not going to group what is the use if no one cares. I just need the pain to go away and don’t care how this happens.

[claire0410]

Try not to let this get to you too much. Someone who has never had depression or anxiety just doesn't understand how overwhelming it can be. When they make their unhelpful comments about "just get over it", etc., it simply means that they don't get it, and probably never will understand. That being said, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love or care about you. I think most of the time they are frustrated because their definition of feeling depressed or anxious is so much different from those of us who have experienced the thoughts, feelings and physical things that come with extreme anxiety and depression. If your brother isn't giving you the support that you need, don't engage in conversations about your feelings with him. It's hard, but try to understand that he doesn't know how to support you. He is probably afraid for you and frustrated that he doesn't know what to do to help you.

[Hidden in reply to claire0410]

Thank you but I feel he doesn’t want to be bothered with me and my pain. Everyone else is spread out to far to really help and I was counting on his support and love. It just isn’t there from him. He is lost to me and I am lost in my despair.

[Justswimming in reply to Hidden]

just don't talk to him now he doesn't understand and can't give you the support you need

[Hidden in reply to Justswimming]

I’m not talh to any one

[fauxartist]

Well, I commend you for reaching out and trying to get some understanding and support from family, unfortunately....it doesn't always go so well. So you were right to block them. And as far as Easter....go if you want to, and if you see your brother and he brings it up....just say this is not a discussion you want to have with him or anyone today, this is a holiday gathering, and further more it's not a discussion you want to have with him untill he can become either enlightened, and become empathetic, or just ...keep his opinions to himself...no harm no foul...and then just keep your distance and enjoy your day. You can love a family member, it does not mean you have to like what they say.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Ty but I just don’t want to go anywhere. Not about to drive 6 hours just to be shamed by an ignorant person. The hurt is too much to bear. The pain of depression is bad enough alone. Bed is my refuge for now. No one really cares anyway. What is the point.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

when I was in a place where I felt my family really had let me down bigtime, and my sister who I would have at least spent holiday time with was going through a really nasty divorce and consoling her 4 kids, so I just didn't want to add to it cause I was going through my own stuff....I found this group of people, like a social club kinda thing, and it was a pot luck, bring a dish and hang out....yeah, I know , perfect strangers...I was always awkward with strangers, but it was actually kinda fun. Other things I did was go to a jazz concert on my own, go to a movie, library, museum...I loved it....got the best seat usually. I just zoned out not thinking about anyones BS and enjoyed myself. It actually started me feeling more confident doing things on my own.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Nope just going omg to curl up in bed and wait for the pain to end.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

Try to listen to an audio book, or music, or just nature sounds. If you have a tv to watch...watch a movie you like and that makes you feel good. Make this a celebration all your own.. Get yourself a chocolate egg or bunny if you like that sort of stuff,,,I do...and celebrate life, cause really that's what it's all about....an ending of suffering....and new beginnings of life and gratitude. That's my interpretation anyways.....

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Ty I appreciate the thoughts but not seeing new beginnings just endings.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I hear ya....your in a tough place right now....but your not alone....some holidays suck for me no matter what....but I just keep trying

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

No worries the pain and depression shall go away soon. But I am alone.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

your not alone here my friend.....never alone here

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Well now I am. Bye

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

Well, if you want to see other family- and he is there- I would not give him the power to stop you. If he is there- try not to engage with him or ignore him

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

I don’t want to see anyone they don’t want me I don’t want or need anyone anymore.

[gogogirl]

No offense- but your brother sounds like he is quite insensitive and ignorant about the topic.

[jkl5500]

No one who has not lived this hell will EVER understand. Not your family, not your spouse, not your friends. No one. That's one very bitter pill all depressives have to swallow. That's why depression is such a "lonely" illness.

We are here for you. I hope you have the motivation to get out of bed today and achieve some small "victory", like making yourself something good to eat.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

I’m just going to make the pain go away today.

[jkl5500]

Please do it safely - whatever it is.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Well nothing safe about it, never mind. Thanks.

[jkl5500]

Honestly, get to the ER if you're thinking about self-harm.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

Sorry but that is counterproductive

[jkl5500 in reply to Hidden]

I'm still here, tfry!

[jkl5500]

Don't let your depression rob you of your entire life! I am here, if you want to talk.

[Justswimming]

Go to group..your brother is ignorant and a jerk for leaving nasty voicemail s..you need to treat your depression just like someone with diabetes would treat that..you didn't mention meds but hopefully those are on board. don't talk to you're brother about it he is not going to be a support system ..don't let being around your stupid brother. just maybe for an hour or so for dinner.. don't talk to your mom about your depression on Easter wait until you can do it with him not there...therapy and group will help you as well as exercise..sometimes older generation does not understand depression is an illness not a choice..who the hell would chose to be depressed? Hang in there and let me know how you make out.😊👍

[Lynl]

It's not that he dosent care , he doesn't understand and probably thinks it's girl drama. He should have handled it better and should apologize , but don't stay away for Easter it will only make things worse . Enjoy your family and talk to your brother and keep things simple. Happy Easter

[Hidden in reply to Lynl]

Thank you. I sent him some info to enlighten him on depression and anxiety. He seemed to actually read it because the next morning he emailed me a long apology and begged me to come to mothers for Easter so we could talk some more. I am here he comes in later and is staying at the same hotel so we will see how it goes later. I had to come because my baby boy decided to suprise me and flew in before he ships out for 8 months. Mom kinda spilled the beans because she was afraid I wasn’t coming. We didn’t let my son know. Gonna be a great weekend. No matter what. Love to you all. Happy Easter

[Fred507]

that's awesome comment

[Fred507]

can you reply

[Fred507]

what did you do

[Hidden in reply to Fred507]

Had a good time with my son. But not the brother he sent that to me to make sure I come and not upset our mom. Screw him. I got my kids.