I made a stupid mistake that’s been haunting me. I got oral/mouth herpes. Which I know its common. But now I’m scared to have relationships. My current boyfriend knows about my condition. But he doesn’t know the story of how I got it. But the doctor said all I needed to do was tell my partner I have it. That I don’t need to go into detail about how I got it. I got it before dating him and told him before we even kissed that I have oral herpes. There’s one person who knows how I got it. They messaged me asking me if I’m going to tell him. I told her he knows I have oral herpes and we use protection for oral sex and are careful. But she’s making me feel guilt about not telling him how I got it. Even though legally I told him what I have. I don’t need to go into detail about how I got it. I’m scared she’s going to tell him and then the story will spread. He will break up with me. I’m scared and I’ve been having the worst anxiety about it. I need help. I’ve been feeling so low. Like maybe I don’t deserve love. Maybe my anxiety is to much. Everyone is annoyed with me. I’m even annoyed with me. I. Been crying for 3 hours... it’s almost 2am and I don’t know how I’m going to wake up for work. I’m just a burden to society I feel.
I have extreme anxiety. And just foun... - Anxiety and Depre...
I have extreme anxiety. And just found out I have oral herpes. I feel like I will never be loved.
Many people get conditions like this once in their life, your GP know and will be helping you. Your Boyfriend knows the situation and seems cool with that. I cannot understand what benefit your supposed friend would get under these conditions, Your Boyfriend knows you are moving on. Personally who needs friends like that. Give the B**** Rush, you do not need a friend who cannot keep a confidence and would intend to break up your Relationship
BOB
You do know herpes lives in more than 50% of people?
You would know huh ? 😎
I’m disappointed in you Mike.
He has trolled me many times on a post i was trying to be serious about.
Gotcha. Let’s move on then because I like you and our conversation. I do hope you’re feeling well.
Yes, I do know. because I fuck around, Mike. That was a weak jab, lel
I agree with Bob. Who needs a friend like that?! You told your boyfriend which was the right thing to do. He doesn’t need to know exactly how it occurred. Start distancing yourself from that friend of yours, I think you’ll feel better.
Apparently bicarbonate of soda will stop any outbreak of herpes take half a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda every morning to prevent an outbreak surely preventing your new partner from getting herpes is more important than how you got it
I’m going to try this although I have reservations that it will help to any degree except my own personal pain relief. It won’t hurt to try. There’s still a short window of an infectious time. Thanks for the info!
Doaty
Have half a level teaspoon in water every day then after a while just have it every other day
The point is... the person who knows is not my friend. She’s just someone I know. And it’s her brother who gave it to me. She has no loyalties to me. If she wanted to tell my bf she totally could. And he would 100% break up with me. If he knew how I got it. Even though he knows I have it. If he found out how I did then he would flip. Because we’ve been on and off for 8 years. And we broke up for about 7 months and during that time is when I got the oral herpes. So if he finds out how, even though we were broken up at the time. He won’t want to be with me. He’s the love of my life. I’m terrified to lose him. And I’m also terrified of people just knowing that “ I’m the girl who have a guy a bj and it gave her mouth herpes”. Like I don’t want random people knowing that. I’m worried about how people will treat me and what they will say to me. I’m worried about judgment and the stigma behind it. I’m so scared. I spent the entire night crying and my bf has no idea why and he’s so confused and I just feel so sick about it.
You can’t punish yourself forever over it though. She sounds like a yucky person...I mean who would hold something like that over someone’s head, and want to hurt their brother in the process? I know I can tell you not to worry all day and it won’t change anything...but I will tell you this....your past “mistakes” “mishaps” whatever you want to call them do not define you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you, it only matters what you think of you. There are a lot of people out there that have or had STI’s...do you look at them and think oh there’s the girl that had sex and got whatever? No. I promise that other people won’t think of you like that either.
But I just feel like I’m less valuable now... I feel like I’m a tainted woman. That no man will want me. And if I’m single and dating I need to tell the people I’m dating I have this. Which I will. But then more people will know. And I fear the stigma and rejection I’ll get. Or if I find someone and it’s great but then they find out and leave me. Like I just don’t want to be haunted by this. And I feel I am being haunted. And that I am tainted. Who’s going to want to have a condom on every time they get a BJ? It’s already been a struggle for me and my partner. And he’s someone I know very well. I can’t imagine how much of a strain it would be on a new relationship. I just don’t see how anyone would actually find me valuable and want to be with me long term. I feel like m anxiety also pushes everyone away. So on top of my anxiety annoying everyone. Now I’m also a bio hazard. Like what’s the point in even being around anyone
You aren’t the herpes. You are so much more than that. You are lovable, desirable, smart, beautiful, and so much more. Anyone that loves you will see all those things and more.
Yeah... I’m just scared. And I have to work with her best friend this Christmas at a store. And I fear she told her too. I just feel so sick about it. Like just thinking about how people could know and spread my personal info. And try to ruin my relationships. It makes me feel gross. It makes me feel like maybe they are right. Maybe I should feel ashamed.
Do not feel ashamed. It was something that happened and it is what it is. It’s just a thing that is there, it isn’t good or bad, it just is. Don’t pay her any mind. You deserve love, happiness, and joy.
She should be the one feeling bad that her brother gave you such a bad condition that he probably knew he had ?
You are the victim here your boyfriend probably went with other girls when you split up you were just unlucky , stop feeling ashamed , feel badly done by instead
Bulls$$t!! I’m not less valuable. I’m not tainted. Neither are you. We have a virus. Mine is on my hand. Life ain’t pretty.
Really it's just a cold sore. Even children get them. Not a big deal. Doesn't matter how you got it. Get some meds.
Yes I’m on the meds. I know lots of people are saying it’s not a big deal on here. Which is great! But... the unfortunate truth is a lot of people out there are nasty and cruel. And they feel like they are doing the right thing by getting you to tell the entire truth. When really it’s none of those people’s business how you get herpes. It may be a super private thing. I told my bf I have oral herpes. I don’t get why this girl is pressuring me to tell him the story of how I got it... it’s crazy to me. And it’s causing me so much anxiety
One out of three people have a form of herpes. I have a form called herpes whitlow stuck in my median nerve (yes my middle finger) on my left hand.
It’s a virus. The new recommendations are valtrex 1 gram daily for one year and you’re in remission; possibly cured. A new medication will be coming out shortly thanks to what we’ve learned from cold viruses and HIV.
Please don’t degrade yourself or belittle yourself. Know the facts and join the big club of us. There are at least 6 active herpes viruses in the adult population of the world. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Humans are not the top of the food chain; Bacteria and virus are.
You are loved. You are worthy.
Doaty💛
Yeah.. I get it. But I just hate having this feeling that someone out there thinks that I’m a bad person for not telling my partner how I got my oral herpes... it’s frustrating to me. Because I feel like I’ve done everything right. I told my partner I have oral herpes. I don’t need to disclose how I got it. I don’t get why I’m being made to feel so guilty. And now I feel like I’m hiding something from him even though I’m not. It’s no ones business how you get it. As long as you disclose you have herpes that’s enough. But I guess it’s not in others eyes.... if word gets around that I got it from a bad choice I made when I was single and drunk. Then... everyone is going to think I’m just this disgusting whore. Like I don’t understand people... I just don’t. I hate this stupid stigma behind herpes and cold sores. And I hate how people think they have a right to tell you how to live your life. I feel unwanted and tainted. I’m 28Y Female. I’m attractive. And now I just feel like a pile of shit. I feel so ugly and gross. I’m so sad. These anxiety attacks are out of control
One of the nurses that worked with me would break out if she went in the sun. The doc said she couldn’t work when she was broken out.
Excuse me but you really don’t know how you got it. Not really. Did you get tested? What type is it?
With my mouth my response would be ‘I’ve had cold sores since I was 12’. You could have. You really don’t know. This is not a virus you can truly pinpoint. I know I got mine from a patient head and broken glove but my case is different.
Or I would say at least my ***** is clean. Shut. Up. You. Nasty. Sl*t.
See people can really bug me when they get in my business.
Take your power back sweetie.
Everyone gets cold sores. Just say you drank after someone with a cold sore.
Yeah... I’m just worried that she has text messages that can out me... I’m just pissed off about the situation. I feel like I have no control. Like yes, I have control about what I do and say. But it bothers me that I can’t control what she does and say. And I just hope she minds her own business and leaves me alone. I already have bad anxiety. And then this situation has put my mental health down a dark path.
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