Hi everyone. I lost my fiancé May 25th 2018. The feelings I feel I don't know how to overcome. Biggest thing I deal with missing him knowing I'm not going to see him again. I never got to say goodbye. I do have good memories of him he was suffering for so long and so happy he's OK now in the after life. He was one of the most caring people I've ever known. He had such compassion for even strangers. He endured so much pain throughout his life Mental pain ,physical pain started at age 7 yrs. We carried a child together who is now 13. He loved that kid more than anything. Our son is just like his father except without all the ailments. I always talk to my son and have both of us in counseling to make sure he's OK. My son is very logical like his father was and tells me he knows he was suffering but it was hard for him to watch his dad that way and to help take care of him. He tells me he's feels OK that his Dad is not in pain anymore. So I just want to present all these facts so everybody would be able to help me the best way possible. My life is good I have a wonderful happy child , full-time job family support when needed . The only problem is my anxiety / OCD which I can find ways to manage for the most part. I am writing this post for advice. How do I accept this? How do I accept the fact that I'm not going to see him again?How do I accept the fact I didn't get to say goodbye? How do I accept the fact that I miss him so much? When I think of these things and that's what I think of when I think of him is such a deep hole in my heart and it hurts so bad. I've never felt this way before. I Do have fond memories of him but these are the things that keep me up at night. The feelings I don't know how to get passed or be ok with.