Feeling helpless dealing with my spouse

[Benilyn1]

My husband of 35 years has been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. He has been on different medications but doesn’t seem to be getting better. I am so tired of being miserable and not having the man I married by my side. During the week it is not so bad because he has work, but weekends are the worst. He is not motivated to do anything. I feel so alone and helpless. I love him but I’m not happy. Any advice or anyone else dealing with the same?

[Stilltrying_]

Sorry no body answered you. It's difficult to know what to say. Do you have your own interests and friends? It isn't fair on you for his moods to bring your world down; you are entitled to enjoy yourself and have a life despite his illness and I wouldn't feel that you have to stay indoors all weekend just because he does. I know it isn't easy and you're torn but you do need to consider yourself and get some enjoyment out of life as you deserve it. Gemmalouise xxxx

[Benilyn1 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thanks for your advice. We have only lived here for a year and a half. We have no family or friends close. We have always done things together so doing my own thing is hard. He tells me to go and do things but no one wants to be alone. I am trying to start taking care of me but I have always put him first.

[trapis2]

My husband had a stroke and heart attack and it changed everything. He got where he couldn't talk right or walk. He was in a motorized wheel chair and a hospital bed in the living room for 2years before he died. I kept him home and took care of him. Not an easy 2 years, but like you say I loved him too. I will never regret the toll it took on me,because it made me happy that I could make him as comfortable and happy as possible. When he died we had been married for47 years and he quietly died in his sleep. Don't know if this gives you any help, but know accepting his illness and being there for him is very rewarding in the long run. Wishing you peace.

[Benilyn1 in reply to trapis2]

Thank you for the encouragement. I do love him more than anything. I wish you peace too.

[trulycommited]

Thank you for your courage to share your heart. Talking to others or seeking professional counseling can be a helpful next step. If anything, it sounds like your husband could sure use your love and support right now. You sound like a good wife, who just needs a breath of fresh air. You might benefit from connecting with others who can help support you through this process. I pray that you have some joy during your current struggles. Sending love and hugs.

[DMHW17]

I know your post is an older one, but I am dealing with a similar issue... desperately looking for a support group/system of those that know what it is like to suffer with a spouse with GAD