On Wednesday I made the incredibly hard decision to put my cat, Tiger, to sleep. He had heart failure. I just feel incredibly guilty about this decision even though I know his time was near and the vet said he wouldn’t be able to breath and would suffer at the end. Even though he had heart failure his death was still shocking and sudden to me. I am utterly heartbroken. I live alone with my 2 cats and they are my children. My one remaining cat has been a lifesaver these past few days, giving me snuggles.
Does anyone have any tips for overcoming grief and guilt? I just can’t stop thinking about him.
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kittenkisses91
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Hi, I'm studying to became a vet and I don't know if I can help you with that but I'll try...
I've put myself a lot of times in that situation, the day I will need to put pets to sleep or my own pets because there is nothing I can do to save them... One day we will die just like our animal friends no matter if we're talking about humans, dogs, cats... But here is the important thing:
It's not about what you can do to save them from death, is not about trying to make them have a longer life with us. The important thing is that I'm sure you gave your cat a great, beautiful life with you, focus on that, the good, great, love memories you have, I'm sure your cat felt the love you gave him/her all the time he/she spent by your side
They can't understand us, they can't talk with us with words but trust me when I say that they can feel the same way as we do, when we are in pain they feel it too and they try to help/understand us, when we give them love and care they feel that love and they appreciate that.
Don't blame yourself about what you did or you didn't, that is in the past and we can't change it no matter what so focus on what you gave your cat: a home
You made the good call, your cat goes without pain, without suffer and with love, the love you gave him his entire life since you both met
Remember there was nothing you can do for your cat. You shouldn't feel gulity, if your cat was alive your cat would of been in a lot of pain and that would made you more upset. Don't think about death of your cat, think about the good times with your cat, your lucky to have another cat, the pain doesnt last forever, the guilt will go away. Till then play with your other cat and watch movies and videos on funny cat videos or just watch movies or shows. Write down how you are feeling. if you need anyone to talk to i am here. I am so sorry for your loss.
Thanks for your kind words. It’s just been hard these last few days, I know it will get better with time. I will certainly play with my other kitty to help me feel better!
That's good, if you ever need anyone to talk or you need a friend, Please message me.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I lost a couple animals in my life but in memory of them I went on Etsy (website) and got a painting done of them and have it on my wall. ❤️
Aww! That’s nice! I bought a shadow box where I plan to put his picture and an impression of his paw print next to his ashes.
Aww, I'm sorry for your loss. Pets are family members and to lose them is really hard. The way I deal with the loss of a pet (and I've had a couple) is to picture them happy on the "farm" (or whatever you choose to call animal heaven). They are totally and utterly at ease there, with no pain whatsoever. You can even try imagining your cat thanking you for helping her pass pain-free.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog of almost thirteen years on Tuesday. She was my baby, I had her since I was 11 so I know the grief you are going through right now. Just know you did the right thing for your cat. Know that he/she isn’t in pain or suffering. Grieve how you need to. If you need to cry then cry. The pain you feel is just a reminder of how much you loved your cat. I hope things get easier for you. ❤️
I had to make the same decision for our 10yo dog 5 weeks ago. He got sick suddenly (was happy, healthy and normal the day before) and declined even quicker. He had a rare blood condition and it was pitiful. When I rushed him to the vet, I had no idea I would be leaving with a box. 😭😭
It took several weeks and many tears to get back to some sense of normalcy. My 8yo and I actually cried for him this morning, on separate occasions.
I made a shadow box with some of our favorite memories of him, his dog tags, etc, and honestly, that was very therapeutic. I hate the way he left us, but my heart knows he had a wonderful life with us, and he gave us all of his love in return. I told my daughter (the day he passed) that someone in heaven needed him more than we did, and that very night I dreamt of him with my best friend, who passed away 6 years ago. 🙏
Prayers for you, dear.
I'm so very sorry, kittenkisses91. A terribly sad fact of life is that we hoomins outlive our animal companions.
I was the mother of 5 rescue kittehs. In 2017, my youngest baby, age 14, was perfectly fine one day and then the next at my vet as an emergency. I had to decide right then whether or not to euthanize him. My vet was so compassionate and gentle, and she explained my options and their likely consequences. Even if I had taken heroic measures to save him then, and if these measures had been successful (maybe a 50-50 chance), my beloved baby Timmy would have continued to suffer as his condition (thromboembolism) recurred. I decided to relieve his suffering that day. I was in a state of shock. Completely unprepared, I sobbed uncontrollably for days. I explained what had happened to my other kittehs, who were looking for Timmy all through the house. My alpha kitteh truly grieved for him; they were good friends.
Later in 2017, I had to euthanize another kitteh, and last year 2 other kittehs died at home. I have my alpha kitteh alone now. He just turned 19. I treasure him every day. I carry Timmy's photo and some of the other kittehs' fur with me all the time. Losing these kittehs was extremely difficult, but if I hadn't rescued them as kittens they would have been killed. I hope I gave them the love and happy life they deserved.
Here is a site I find useful and reliable. I hope it helps you. I empathize with you most sincerely. I will carry all my animal companions in my heart forever, and you will too. Express your grief however you need to for as long as you need to.
Kittenkisses91, you need to let yourself grieve. It's okay to cry and to be depressed and to have trouble getting through the day. You suffered a heart wrenching loss of one of your family. Let yourself deal with your pain, with the help of your other family to get you through this time of suffering. Cats really do understand your grief, so let them help you. Just do a minute or an hour or a day, whatever you feel you can handle. It sounds like your Tiger was very fortunate to have you. He is still with you and will always be a part of your life. Remember him; cry a ton of tears for him. It's okay.
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