better place without me

[sparkle314]

There hasn't been a day gone by that i haven't wished i would die, i've written so many suicide notes i cant even keep track anymore but i've only had the guts to try it once.. obviously didn't work lol. im not scared anymore, i dont care if i die and im not scared to do it myself im just scared of who ill be hurting even though i think everyone would be better off without me

[hemurp]

That is not true. You are important. You have a purpose. 800-273-8255 Please call and talk to someone.

[MRawPR in reply to hemurp]

Agre 💯 %

[Dragon1940]

I apologize for your life being so miserable & unfortunate that it has led you to believe suicide is the only option, but please believe me when I say it is not, just by posting on here you've shown that you just need help getting back up & I know you can get back up & continue on, perhaps it may seem you are just a setback to everyone else but I know this is not true, just look at the fact that you wrote how you didn't want to hurt them that in itself shows that you bear empathy for them & thus are not a setback but rather a benefit to them. For you care about them & that alone is something most humans treasure. So please feel better you are not a setback & never will be

[sparkle314 in reply to Dragon1940]

thank you <3

i dont want anyone to ever feel the way that i have my whole life and thats why i care so much abt ppl, but im tired of feeling this way, sometimes it just seems easier to give up..

[Dragon1940 in reply to sparkle314]

My pleasure!

I know it can be hard to care for others when you yourself are running on empty but trust me life will get better perhaps not overnight but over time it will, you just need to find the path that will lead you to happiness & that could be anything whether it's posting on here every day or finding a hobby, it is easier to give up in the short run but ask yourself, in the long run is it worth it? How many people have you helped just by caring about them? Just by making their day better? Imagine how many more people you will help in time!

[jkl5500]

I'm glad it didn't work. I just hope you are receiving treatment for your depression. If not, please see your doctor ASAP. I know deep down inside that you really do want to "sparkle", and you will. Just let others help you through this. All the feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, etc., are just symptoms of your illness. I know , because I've been where you are several times. Please get treatment for your depression as soon as you can. Your friends and family care about you. I care about you. Feel free to message me anytime.

[sparkle314 in reply to jkl5500]

thank you for that i really appreciate it, ive been on medication so long i dont even remember the real me and im just tired of being a burden

[jkl5500 in reply to sparkle314]

I don't blame you for being tired. Just don't give up! If your meds aren't working, tell your doctor! I was stuck on the wrong meds many times, and felt just like you do now.

Just keep going! It's not hopeless, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[sparkle314 in reply to jkl5500]

thank you so much <3

[Lostjoy]

Awe, I’m sorry you are feeling this way, but I’m glad you are on here seeking help and support for yourself.

I ended up feeling suicidal when I was taking Zoloft. It is the worst feeling ever. Please keep reaching out and talking to us when your feeling this way.

Have you had any treatment for your issues?

[sparkle314 in reply to Lostjoy]

i just started therapy and im on two medications, ive been on wellbutrin 450mg for several years now and 20mg adderall XR for two, maybe more but nothings changed and its so expensive i cant keep doing this to my parents. thank you for your support and sharing ur experience. <3

[Lostjoy in reply to sparkle314]

I agree that it is really expensive. I wish there was a quick fix to this, but unfortunately it’s a slow process that requires lots of work, and sometimes life changes. I’m feeling much better than I was one year ago, so there is hope.

[Zhangliqun in reply to sparkle314]

Wellbutrin is very expensive, and it didn't do anything for me either. You're right, it's pricey, so I dumped it. Duloxetine seems to help a lot for daytime anxiety and Trazadone is even better at night because it also makes you drowsy. But that doesn't mean it will work for you -- everything depends on what your diagnosis is.

[LavendorTown88]

That's simply not true 😢

💐💛

[Hidden]

I know how you feel so I can most definitely relate but then I think that we are still here for a reason...YOU are here for a reason. YOU ARE STRONG!!! And you will beat those awful thoughts in your mind. You matter even if you don't feel like that right now and even if we can't see a purpose because of the fog that depression creates...You have a purpose...you just helped me right now even if that sounds crazy. I was feeling hopeless but maybe we are still here to help one another and to give others strength u understanding when no one else seems to understand. YOU ARE SPECIAL please believe this. We are stronger than we think esp with the suffering we have to endure. Im here if you ever want to talk...please your life matters...even to me and I dont know you. 😇💕