Asking for help

[itza23]

I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for quite some time now. Through college I attended counseling sessions and they seemed to help but as soon as I began to feel better I stopped going then my mom passed away in my junior year and it has been difficult ever since. I tried grieve counseling and it seemed to help a bit but then had a terrible experience with a counselor on campus and decided to just not go back. It’s been hard ever since. I have trouble sleeping, there’s days where anything triggers my emotions. I have really isolated myself from my friends. I think the most difficult part for me is asking for help. I am a bit embarrassed and scared. I am embarrassed because a part of me feels like I should have it all together as I am going to school to help others who gave similar issues. I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

[oncesunny]

Hi Itza, I'm so sorry to for your loss! I'm sure I'm old enough to be your mom and have a daughter who suffers with anxiety and depression and I haven't been much help to her lately as I had a PTSD experience a few years ago. Since then battling depression myself and have always been anxious. I had terrible day and crying spells today.I cry alot these days so I'm not the best person to lift up your spirits but pls know your not alone ! I don't know you and I care! I'm sure your mom is watching over you.I lost mine , my dad a sis and brother so I know how hard it is not to have that person that meant so much to you..I was on a pain forum and just peeked in this forum for a sec but you r breaking my heart. It does help to share. I don't know if u r in the US like me where now do to daylight savings time it is 3:44 AM so I need to immerse myself in a show to be able to sleep..Pls don't beat yourself up about anything, try to watch a movie or something if u can( I have isolated too ).. I will try to check back with you tmrw.Pls hang in there!! Sending Hugs. Ps I just realized I didn't really answer any of your questions but will try to reply to those as soon as I can..I do think your being too hard on yourself..xo

[itza23 in reply to oncesunny]

Hi sallyally

Im sorry for your losses as well. I can’t imagine your pain. I lost my mom but can’t imagine losing anyone else I don’t know how I would cope or even if I would be able to. I think crying is okay it washes away the pain but it leaves one very drained as well. I am in the US I’m actually in the west coast. Thank you for your words I appreciate them.

[Lostjoy]

Hi Itza22, I am also old enough to be you Mom. I have an adult child who suffers with anxiety. My Mom is still living, but is in a nursing/retirement home due to her schizophrenia. I was raised by an Aunt because of my Mothers illness. I did lose my Father and 2 brothers through the years. I’m sorry about the loss of your Mom and that you are struggling with these issues. I have such a hard time accepting the fact that one of my children inherited anxiety from my genes. It’s really hard because my depression and anxiety gets so bad that I can’t help my own child.

I really don’t have any advice except to keep talking about what’s bothering you. It’s helped me to be able to come here and talk about my issues knowing I’m not going to be judged. Everyone here understands because they are going through similar situations.

Most will advise you to try and find a therapist who you feel comfortable with. I saw a few last year when my symptoms first became unbearable. Also have you tried meds? Meaning antidepressants and anti anxiety meds? I did try at first, but they seemed to make me worse. Lots of people here say meds have helped them. I’m just one of the handful who couldn’t afford to keep trying different meds in order to find the right one that works with my body chemistry.

It’s getting late and I’m sleepy. I tend to rattle on and on when I’m tired, so I’m going to say goodnight and check back in tomorrow.

One more thing, is that I am from the US also and on the west coast. I really am not going to like this one hour ahead time change.

I hope you can find a way to relax.

Wishing you peace..

[erin_c]

Sorry to hear what you've been through. I encourage you to keep trying out the tools that can help you. It often takes a while to find the right therapist, don't give up on that. Are you utilizing medication?

[hrkttt]

Hey Itza, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my father suddenly during my junior year of a new college (its been about a year and a half now and i'm 22). I highly recommend the grief recovery handbook if you do not have access to more grief counseling. I also highly recommend continuing trying to see a counselor or therapist. It might take some time to find one that really connects and helps you but it is so worth it. Having a trained ear who understands grief and the complexities it comes with is such an important step in recovery. I had been seeing a therapist prior to my father's passing and that really has helped me continue to try to live a normal life. I understand being embarrassed and scared to reach out but everything got a lot less scary and embarrassing after I reached out to my friends and family. Even if they can't understand the exact feelings of grief, they love and care about you and can help remind you that you are not alone. It is really challenging to lose anyone in your life but there are added challenges to losing a parent/guardian when you are young. Most people wont experience this loss until they are older and have most likely dealt with loss and grief of other things like friends, pets, and grandparents. It can feel really lonely. Reading things written by other people who have lost their parent at a young age can help. My heart goes out to you in these hard times. The grieving process is not linear. There will be times where you feel really good and then there will be times where you feel like you've lost all the progress you have made. The good news is that the waves will become less frequent as time passes. I encourage you to be tender to yourself. The loss of a loved one is not something that can be pushed off and ignored. It can eat at you if you're not kind to yourself. I am sending lots of love to you during these hard times. I am just coming out of an anxious/depressive episode where I felt like I couldn't get out of bed and could barely eat. I reached out to my friends and family and told them what was happening. Sometimes we talked about my plan for getting better. Sometimes we just sat, watched tv, and tried to eat. Everything felt a little bit easier because I wasn't alone. I hope you find some relief soon. Just keep trying.