Thank you for all your messages during these months. Today Feb is gone and with it my dreams too. I think the few things I had left, the little hopes, my prays and everything stayed there.
It's true I don't know who I'm anymore, i just hit the bottom. Every day I get worse and I don't know how long I will stand this. Last night I had cramps on my tummy, they were very painful and I don't know why, I was only talking to a friend, she was nice helping me but still can't help feeling bad.
I don't want this life anymore, every day I wake up I realise everything for me is bad, I have no happy moments anymore, nothing makes me happy, I have lost everything
I only want to lose when I'm asleep! Today is Thursday, almost weekend and the same circle.
I hate my life, I have everything of me, I'm not even capable to get a better job, I only wait for weekends to lock myself at home, to get anxious and desperate, sad and then cry. The woman I was no longer exist. My life is ruined and nothing can stop my sorrow. When I met my ex I knew if this happened I was not able to stand it. I never felt more loved in my life by a man. I'm tired. I'm tired of faking. Tired of pretending I'm ok in front of everybody.
I'm sorry for being so negative, I know it is annoying. I will take a break from here too, I think you all have enough with me. I just wanna be alone and closed in myself.
Breakdowns are coming back and i prefer not to bother anyone.
Thank you for everything, you guys have been helpful