Anxiety and Depression Support
20,730 members18,380 posts

Proposing to my girlfriend soon... very nervous and stressed

Well that time for me has come... after 4 years of being together I am going to propose to my girlfriend the following weekend. There were so many times our relationship got disrupted because of my anxiety and depression but she is willing to work with me on that. In fact she has been doing it and tolerating all my crap this whole time and still wants to be with me. I'm antisocial, barely have any friends, and hate crowds but she doesn't mind as long as she sees me putting my effort in to fix those problems.

I have pretty much everything planned out.. nothing fancy. Just want some of your advice(preferably from those who have experience in this) so I can feel less anxious. I'm picking up the ring this saturday. The day I am going to propose to her is actually our 4 year dating anniversary so I am planning to take her to a zoo for a date. Then I am going to take her to our first date spot, which is on a boardwalk along a harbor and going to propose to her there. Does it matter if its after dinner or before? She mentioned that she wants pics taken but I never told her I will, but I am doing it if thats what she wants. So my brother is going to be there secretly, hiding and taking pics with a very high quality camera. If its after dinner its going to be dark and the pics will be dark unless there is flash but the flash stand out and my gf will realize so I was thinking before dinner before sunset? The restaurant is actually only a minute walk from the place. But either ways.. how does this sound? Do you see any flaws?

18 Replies
oldestnewest

It all sounds pretty lovely actually :) If before dinner is what works for you go for it, there's no set way of doing these things - do whatever feels most comfortable for you so you can be less anxious and more relaxed. All the best.

2 likes
Reply

Sounds perfect.. best wishes..

1 like
Reply

Sounds super sweet.... my husband did a similar thing when he popped the question. We went to the zoo & dinner.... it was a good day. Trying to remember exactly when he asked ... so long ago, we'll be married 10 years in April & we're engaged for a while.... Think either way will be perfect.... you already have the important thing love & the ring 😄 Good luck & congratulations 🍾

Mel

2 likes
Reply

Beautifully said melbrown :) xx

Reply

Thank you. I will keep you posted on this :)

1 like
Reply

Sounds all set..Zoo is a gr8 idea too!!

All the best👍👍👍

1 like
Reply

Sigh.... well. Just found out my gf does not like zoos so I gotta rethink my plans. Also the day I was planning on proposing her(March 11 which is also our dating anniversary) may have some snow coming according to the forecast. And I work at a retirement community and its mandatory for me to work for snow removal whenever it snows.... Sigh I feel like the world is always going against me and just wants to keep me miserable. What am I supposed to do now.. :(

1 like
Reply

Heruga, go to Plan B.... don't get down on it. Everything happens for a reason. Make a new Plan and go forward with your proposal. The world isn't against you and doesn't want to keep you miserable. Only you can do that to yourself. Take a deep breath and start over again with an even more romantic idea in mind. It will all work out. Good Luck

Reply

Sorry for the late reply, I've been busy all day with work and other stuff.

I do have another date for plan B but its just the fact that of all the days the weather HAD to be bad on that particular day I thought was going to be one of the best days of my life... talk about extreme bad luck huh. Also my girlfriend will probably be very upset if I have to work on that day rather than spend time with her... I hate this world. Its already march and its still cold like winter. Spring will never come and my gardening days will just keep on getting shorter and shorter.. Fml. Its not just stupid people who make me lose faith in the world but merciless nature as well!

1 like
Reply

I understand the weather. I was freezing in Chicago today. Spring is March 20th but yet they tell us not to plant anything until May 30th. By the time some things come up, summer is just about over. :)

Gee I hope you don't need a Plan C for the proposal. Give yourself credit in planning a perfect event that the 2 of you will always remember... Someday you will be able to sit back and laugh when you tell her how much you went through in getting it perfect.

Take care :)

Reply

Oh yea chicago is much colder than here in northern NJ. My mom recently moved to Chicago last year and tells me how much more it snows there and how much colder it is there. Still.. It feels odd with snow and freezing temperatures in march. Plan B will be on April 7th and I hope there is no rain or snow on that day or everything will be ruined.

1 like
Reply

Fingers crossed :)

1 like
Reply

Women in general are always in a better mood after they’ve eaten... I would say after dinner. 😋 Good luck! And I’m sure, congratulations! :)

2 likes
Reply

Hey guys update. So it didn't rain or snow yesterday(although another noreaster with snow will be coming tonight) and I successfully proposed to my girlfriend :) She was very happy she started crying. I was very nervous but I guess I did it. We are now engaged couples :)

And I ended up proposing to her after dinner since there were a lot of lights in the area and the pics didn't get dark at all

Reply

Well congratulations to you! May your marriage be blessed with peace, love ,joy & happiness!!!!!!!!

1 like
Reply

Thanks you very much :) all your heart warming comments were also part of the reason why I was able to do this. I was very nervous and my anxiety was so high that day(the past 2 weeks as well) but I didn't let it take over my love

Reply

Hi! Your story is so lovely! I found your post while looking for positive exemples of relationships with parteners who suffer from a mental illness. I am very happy for you and your future wife! I wish you the best.

Reply

It sounds perfect to me. Good luck x

Reply

You may also like...