Proposing to my girlfriend soon... very nervous and stressed

[Heruga]

Well that time for me has come... after 4 years of being together I am going to propose to my girlfriend the following weekend. There were so many times our relationship got disrupted because of my anxiety and depression but she is willing to work with me on that. In fact she has been doing it and tolerating all my crap this whole time and still wants to be with me. I'm antisocial, barely have any friends, and hate crowds but she doesn't mind as long as she sees me putting my effort in to fix those problems.

I have pretty much everything planned out.. nothing fancy. Just want some of your advice(preferably from those who have experience in this) so I can feel less anxious. I'm picking up the ring this saturday. The day I am going to propose to her is actually our 4 year dating anniversary so I am planning to take her to a zoo for a date. Then I am going to take her to our first date spot, which is on a boardwalk along a harbor and going to propose to her there. Does it matter if its after dinner or before? She mentioned that she wants pics taken but I never told her I will, but I am doing it if thats what she wants. So my brother is going to be there secretly, hiding and taking pics with a very high quality camera. If its after dinner its going to be dark and the pics will be dark unless there is flash but the flash stand out and my gf will realize so I was thinking before dinner before sunset? The restaurant is actually only a minute walk from the place. But either ways.. how does this sound? Do you see any flaws?

[Chinnup]

It all sounds pretty lovely actually If before dinner is what works for you go for it, there's no set way of doing these things - do whatever feels most comfortable for you so you can be less anxious and more relaxed. All the best.

[Hidden]

Sounds perfect.. best wishes..

[melbrown]

Sounds super sweet.... my husband did a similar thing when he popped the question. We went to the zoo & dinner.... it was a good day. Trying to remember exactly when he asked ... so long ago, we'll be married 10 years in April & we're engaged for a while.... Think either way will be perfect.... you already have the important thing love & the ring 😄 Good luck & congratulations 🍾

Mel

[Agora1 in reply to melbrown]

Beautifully said melbrown xx

[Heruga in reply to melbrown]

Thank you. I will keep you posted on this

[Dichotomous]

Sounds all set..Zoo is a gr8 idea too!!

All the best👍👍👍

[Heruga]

Sigh.... well. Just found out my gf does not like zoos so I gotta rethink my plans. Also the day I was planning on proposing her(March 11 which is also our dating anniversary) may have some snow coming according to the forecast. And I work at a retirement community and its mandatory for me to work for snow removal whenever it snows.... Sigh I feel like the world is always going against me and just wants to keep me miserable. What am I supposed to do now..

[Agora1 in reply to Heruga]

Heruga, go to Plan B.... don't get down on it. Everything happens for a reason. Make a new Plan and go forward with your proposal. The world isn't against you and doesn't want to keep you miserable. Only you can do that to yourself. Take a deep breath and start over again with an even more romantic idea in mind. It will all work out. Good Luck

[Heruga in reply to Agora1]

Sorry for the late reply, I've been busy all day with work and other stuff.

I do have another date for plan B but its just the fact that of all the days the weather HAD to be bad on that particular day I thought was going to be one of the best days of my life... talk about extreme bad luck huh. Also my girlfriend will probably be very upset if I have to work on that day rather than spend time with her... I hate this world. Its already march and its still cold like winter. Spring will never come and my gardening days will just keep on getting shorter and shorter.. Fml. Its not just stupid people who make me lose faith in the world but merciless nature as well!

[Agora1 in reply to Heruga]

I understand the weather. I was freezing in Chicago today. Spring is March 20th but yet they tell us not to plant anything until May 30th. By the time some things come up, summer is just about over.

Gee I hope you don't need a Plan C for the proposal. Give yourself credit in planning a perfect event that the 2 of you will always remember... Someday you will be able to sit back and laugh when you tell her how much you went through in getting it perfect.

Take care

[Heruga in reply to Agora1]

Oh yea chicago is much colder than here in northern NJ. My mom recently moved to Chicago last year and tells me how much more it snows there and how much colder it is there. Still.. It feels odd with snow and freezing temperatures in march. Plan B will be on April 7th and I hope there is no rain or snow on that day or everything will be ruined.

[Agora1 in reply to Heruga]

Fingers crossed

[newhope]

Women in general are always in a better mood after they’ve eaten... I would say after dinner. 😋 Good luck! And I’m sure, congratulations!

[Heruga]

Hey guys update. So it didn't rain or snow yesterday(although another noreaster with snow will be coming tonight) and I successfully proposed to my girlfriend She was very happy she started crying. I was very nervous but I guess I did it. We are now engaged couples

And I ended up proposing to her after dinner since there were a lot of lights in the area and the pics didn't get dark at all

[Hidden]

Well congratulations to you! May your marriage be blessed with peace, love ,joy & happiness!!!!!!!!

[Heruga]

Thanks you very much all your heart warming comments were also part of the reason why I was able to do this. I was very nervous and my anxiety was so high that day(the past 2 weeks as well) but I didn't let it take over my love

[Lyhn]

Hi! Your story is so lovely! I found your post while looking for positive exemples of relationships with parteners who suffer from a mental illness. I am very happy for you and your future wife! I wish you the best.

[Heruga in reply to Lyhn]

Very late for me to see your post, but thank you.

[Hidden]

It sounds perfect to me. Good luck x

[babygirl1952]

I THINK YOU SHOULD DO WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART YOU KNOW I GOT MARRIED IN MY OWN HOUSE IF YOU HAVE A APT THAT WOULD BE FUN TO AND WE PREPARED ARE OWN FOOD AND IT WAS GREAT FRIENDS HELPED THIS WAS BACK IN THE 70S GOOD OLD DAYS IS WAY CHEAPER THIS DAYS TOO SO I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU DEAR GOD BLESS SMILES )))

[babygirl1952]

Not at all wow that's great to be young and so full of love and joy am so happy for you-you to be good to her and have a happy life I know you will you made my day I love when young people get married my son just told me he is going to do the same thing and they're going to have a child to so good luck dear have a nice night

[mydog56]

i see flaws and how you said it , but you know , it depands on how you feel, if you want to still do it or not you know, but i am happy for you both, but you know if she can help you fix it i am happy for that, you know i can help too by my new first book but i am still writing on it and see what other stuff to do for this first book , i am thinking of getting it to people in real life and some my other books online it depands if i want to, cause like i am writing about my book and all that stuff

😨

[Rafiki11 in reply to mydog56]

This post is three years old. I’m not sure Heruga is still active here. ❤️

[mydog56 in reply to Rafiki11]

well i will just give you my first book, just you know pm me

[mydog56]

get my new book see my deteils , pm me

[mydog56]

it is not ready yet but i am writing about my book and other stuff