I could sure use some advice if anyone is willing to offer. After battling depression/anxiety myself for years (and I still do, everyday) I now find myself in a support role to my girlfriend (which is very new to me). Although I know what I want and need when I am in a depressive state of mind I have been at a loss to try and figure out what she needs from me. When I ask her "what do you want and need from me?" Her response is "don't ask me that. It puts too much pressure on me. I don't know what I need." I feel like everything I say or do is wrong. I try giving her space. I try sending her loving text messages. I try to get her to open up to me. She is in a very dark place right now and has a lot that has gone wrong in her life over the past few months. She was already dealing with a lot from her past to begin with.
I have read so many articles, so much advice, but I just can't figure out what the best way to support her is. I don't want to smother her when she needs space, but I also worry that if I back off too much she will think I don't care or I am going to leave.
Her depression/anxiety has also made her even more sensitive than she already was. She gets offended/takes personally almost anything I say or do and she knows she does this which I know is part of the reason she is keeping me somewhat at bay. She feels like a burden and told me she feels like she is ruining my life.
I tell her I'm not leaving, I tell her I love her, I send flowers, I write letters. I know in the state she is in that they don't illicit much of a response in her right now because she doesn't love herself, currently. Do I keep doing these things? Do I back off of doing these things? I just can't figure out what to do. I am worried about her and I care for her deeply. I just don't want to be shut out and she her continue in this downward spiral.