I really want to feel good again and feel comfortable in my own skin

[Wontbackdown]

From what I can remember of my youth, which is very little, I remember being called DG by a few of my ‘friends’ in high school. Depressed girl. Apparently I’ve been depressed for a long time. The anxiety over the last 10 Year’s has gotten pretty bad. I avoid conversations at work and in my social life, I completely avoid the lunch room. This has had a huge negative impact on all aspects of my life; professional, social, personal. I now have two young kids. I went to a therapist for several months while I was pregnant with my second. It was helpful, however I no longer have the time or money to continue therapy. I think I had pretty bad PPD for quite some time. I want to feel good again, look forward to things, be a good strong presence in my children’s and husbands life. I didn’t have the worst life growing up but there were issues. My mom was an alcoholic, we didn’t have much of a relationship. Still don’t. I think my sister may have had some inappropriate interactions with me, which I have never shared with anyone. Mainly what I want is to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel comfortable with my husband, with my family, with his family, at work. I guess I’m looking for some support and other people that under what if feels like to feel this way day in and day out. Thanks for reading.

[jkl5500]

Anxiety and depression are so self-absorbing that we tend to push other people away. We are locked in seemingly endless internal struggles, so dealing with other people and situations on top of that is just too much. The result is that anxiety and depression are "lonely" illnesses. Spend some time reading the posts on this blog, and you'll see the complaint of loneliness over and over.

The first step is to get medical help for this condition. You've come to the right place for understanding and support, but depression is too serious for you to try and "work it out" by yourself. At least see your GP and let him/her know what's going on, and ask for resources for therapy if you are financially strapped.

Just don't let it linger on, and hope it somehow all goes away. Believe me, it won't. I've been down that road already. Please get started, and get the medical help that you need.

Wishing you the best,

jkl5500

[Wontbackdown]

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately I do not have time for therapy right now. Working full time with two small kids doesn’t leave much time for anything else. Which is why I joined this support group. Is the only road to feeling good again through a therapist?

[Windy101]

First, I would recommend maybe a support or play group for new moms. You may stlll have some PPD hanging on. Look for a group where people are real with each other, not just bragging about their babies.

Second, I would ban DG from your vocabulary and make up a new set of initials. You are not in high school anymore. You do not have to let those people define you. I see BW - Brave Woman, or DM - Dedicated Mom. Pick something positive and meaningful for you that you can replace DG with whenever it comes into your thoughts. Get rid of that old baggage asap!

Also, I suggest that you call the Crisis Line in your community and find out about free or sliding scale resources. You would be surprised what's available if you're willing to reach out. Money does not have to stop you.

Best wishes to you, dear lady. Being a mom is the most important job you could have. Congratulations on your family and your perserverence. I hope you feel better very soon.