I feel guilty

I read other people’s post and I don’t have it nearly as bad. I wasn’t abused by anyone, my husband is decent man. I do not lack for much. So then why do I get so depressed and anxious? It makes me feel worse. I’ve had depression my whole life and mental illness runs through my extended family. I remember being depressed as a kid and my parents didn’t understand and thought I was just ungrateful and now that’s how I feel about myself too. I just want to be normal like my siblings. Why did I get all the shitty genes?

[StruggleBusSAHM]

I feel the same way my brother and sister are pretty normal for the most part and I am the one prone to depression. But I always try to remember everyone’s story is different and you shouldn’t devalue your feelings because someone else had a harder time. Good luck owning your story! You always deserve better and taking the small steps help

[Hidden in reply to StruggleBusSAHM]

Thank you for your kind words.

[hypercat54]

Hi I was often puzzled coz when reading other peoples posts I didn't understand why I was so depressed and have been since childhood.

Then I came across something called Childhood Emotional Neglect (google it) and it explained so much and I was amazed. It talks about the non validation of feelings and the lack of teaching from your parents on how to deal with and handle emotions in a positive and constructive way. Often sufferers bury their emotions for years (like I did) and find it difficult to connect on intimate levels with others.

I might be way off beam here and if so I apologise. If not then it might help you as it did me x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you i will look into it. It sounds very possible.

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

Will try and find a link if that helps. x

[hypercat54 in reply to hypercat54]

scarymommy.com/childhood-em...

[cmeanonymous]

Brain chemistry. Not everyone suffers from anxiety and depression because of an event or events in their life. Brain chemistry does play a big part in how we handle things. It’s just who you are. Be grateful that it’s just brain chemistry. You’re already dealing with enough that you don’t need to look for abuses that aren’t there (if you’re pretty sure there wasn’t any).

[schrodingercat]

I struggle with similar feelings, I think, of confusion and guilt at experiencing pain seemingly disproportionate to the circumstances of my life, for suffering even though my problems "aren't nearly as bad". It's important to remember, though, that while sometimes depression or anxiety are triggered by traumatic events or circumstances, they're like physical illnesses in that sometimes they just happen. It's not a satisfying answer or even a complete one, but right now it's the best we have (that I know of). "Mental illness does not discriminate by gender or class or race" -- events, genes, or brain chemistry like cmeanonymous pointed out all can trigger mental illness.

I'm sorry for the flimsy answer and I hope you find better ones in the future. ^^ If it's possible and you believe it might help, an excellent source of information and support especially about the causes of mental illness might be a therapist or a counsellor. Please, please remember, even if you can't feel this way all the time, that your mental state is nothing to feel guilty about and it is not ungrateful.

Best wishes and many people love you!

[Hidden]

I'm with you on that. My sister is one tough chick can handle everyone and everything. I hardly see her sad or stressed. My brother too. My luck i struggle with depression my whole life And anxiety too. My parents don't understand. To my mom You are just having a bad day shake it off. And to my dad you need an exorcism. I also inherited.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Are you the youngest ?

[67Gail]

Hi pika1202, I think mental illness picks on those who are the strongest in a family, because it thinks they can cope! It is either that or we are the only ones smart enough to realise something is wrong with us when we are in depression! Just a lighthearted thought,

Hugs Gailxxxx

[Hidden]

My life sounds similar to yours and I’ve had bad anxiety my whole life. It has a mind of its own! Psych says brain wired wrong, something about circuits not firing correctly. In my opinion, it’s a disease that I have to learn to manage. My best to you.