I got diagnosed one year ago with depression and anxiety. I am not better after the therapy. I felt that most of it was centered in me getting along with a family who has no understanding for mental issues, when I should have had prioritised learning to love myself. I am still depressed and numbed, but after a hiatus of a year I feel forced to go out there. I am so full of doubts. Searching for a job, but at the same time knowing that I don't want to go back to my former field. I left my previous post after one year without pay, giving no warning because emails would trigger asfixiatying anxiety. That still weighs on me. And I will have to face it sometime. But. I. Just. Can't. Now.
I am only looking for fellow-minded people. So I don't feel so alone in my experience. I want to stop the feeling that I cannot deserve better, that I am not good enough. I am just so tired.