Broken heart : Can anyone help me - Anxiety and Depre...

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Broken heart

Smellycat123456 profile image
58 Replies

Can anyone help me

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Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456
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58 Replies
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi Smellycat123456

Welcome to the Anxiety Forum, how can we help you?

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I'm Sorry to bother you but I'm deeply hurting my depression is getting worse and I just need someone to talk to

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

Where is the hurt coming from that is making you so depressed? Are you in therapy at this time or on any medication?

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

No and no and I don't know where to turn to

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

Are you suicidal? Are you alone right now? If things seem very bleak and hopeless, it might be best you call 911 and get to the nearest Emergency Room. I want you to be safe.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

No I'm not suicidal

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

Well that's good. I noticed your profile says that since you turned 40 Life waits with a list of things. What kind of things? Relationships, family or money matters, job related??

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

Yes all that and more

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

It sounds like you are just overwhelmed with life and not knowing which way to turn.. When this happens, it is best to address one situation at a time. Taking what you can fix so you can cross that off your list of to do's. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to change the situation around us. Then we need change the way we react to our stressors.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I had a great friend who told me we can not stress over things that we can't control she was helping me with my depression and then she found out she has cancer and I haven't talked to her sence. I'm going to miss her. Last I heard she's in the hospital dieing

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

I am so very very sorry. I can see how that has affected you. She was absolutely correct and sounds like she was your mentor and support system.

Anxiousjy profile image
Anxiousjy in reply to Smellycat123456

So sorry to hear that

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Anxiousjy

Hi

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I can not be with her cause she is married

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

Sounds like you are in love with her.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I do love her for being a great friend but I am in love with her niece she is 48 and her aunt is 50 they grew up together and im 46. I love my Lori with all my heart but were just friends she doesn't love me in that way and it is hard on me to love someone from afar

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

I understand. Love comes in different degrees. We can truly love a person with all our heart but in a different way then being "in love" with them.

It doesn't make it any less intense, just a different way of expressing love.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

Yea we've talked about it but that is the least of my problems

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

What else has been happening?

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

Here is my story give me a minute to write this

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

I think this is good that you are opening up about your feelings and emotions. It's a form of grieving because you are losing your best friend because of her illness.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I lost my mother and she was my best friend it and it left a scar, I had just met my wife and started a family, I have a stepson 18 now raise him sence he was 5. I have a 10 year old deaf son and a 7 year old daughter after 12 years my wife cheated on me and left me all alone and I started drinking heavy and got my third dui then I started loosing everything I own and now I'm loosing my mind and thatis just the tip of the iceberg for starters

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

First of all I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I believe it left a scar, a hole in your heart. Your losing your friend to Cancer, you lost your wife due to cheating. Your losses are huge. Many turn to drinking to try and block the pain they feel but as you can see, that only caused more problems.

It's like you are watching your life go down the drain. That's tragic. I will admit that is a lot to contend with. You definitely need professional counseling if that is all possible.

You are like someone in a small boat in the middle of the ocean, not being able to see land. You feel lost and alone and scared. A therapist can help you grieve your losses as well as put you on the path to healing and knowing which direction to go.

You can't do this yourself. You are not losing your mind, it's just filled with so many emotions right now that need to be expressed.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I express myself with my poetry, I can't afford professional help. I have Financial difficulties. Can't have a real job cause the state of Texas takes my whole check, I was almost homeless, I live without running water and with out food,I owe a few people and the IRS that's another problem I have. I fixing to go to court for the dui and I have no lawyer. Last night I got a citation for family violence cause I was arguing with the ex about money

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

I'm sorry for all your troubles in life. I am in Chicago. I'd like to hear your poetry tomorrow if you would share that with me. Take care of yourself. Stay safe. x

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

Life can be cruel at times. But I truly believe we all are here for a reason. She was in your life at the time you needed someone. For however long or short time it was, it served a purpose. Now she is fighting her own battles and as much as you may want to be there to comfort her in her hour of need, it cannot be.

Accept the things I cannot change,

Change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

It's hard truth to hear.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

Good morning to me again. Trying to get out of bed to go to work having a hard time

vanessi profile image
vanessi

You can message me if you want

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to vanessi

Hi there I'm hurting today and I just need someone to talk to

vanessi profile image
vanessi in reply to Smellycat123456

Yes. Today has been one of the worst days since depression came back!!! What is happening to you??

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to vanessi

What hassent happened to me is the question.

I have a list and were do I start

vanessi profile image
vanessi in reply to Smellycat123456

Well I'm here to listen

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to vanessi

Thank you so much I've been alone and depressed most of my life and had no one to turn to its been really hard these last 4 years. My wife cheated on me and left me for intiment reasons then I started drinking heavy and got my third dui then I started loosing everything I own and now I'm loosing my mind andthat just the tip of the iceberg

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Smellycat123456

Are you ok

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Smellycat123456

I Just read happiness in February. You poor thing I know how you feel, I'm going through just about the same depression. My ex came back to me every other month for the years we were separated and it killed me every time she left, we would make plans and then she would leave find out she had other boyfriend's and not just one. I've had to let go so many times I'm my sad life that I just want to die. And everything people say just goes in one ear and out the other. I Know you want what you want but their is more out there I've seen it and it's there for you always. Sweetheart talk to me please. My name is Jesus and I am here for you

vanessi profile image
vanessi in reply to Smellycat123456

Thanks. I'm actually not very helpful person cos I am already a mess! But I hope you can feel better

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to vanessi

Hi sweetheart how are you. I'm no good myself, I just woke up and already I'm hurting my ex is calling about the kids birthdays. Their birthday ain't for another month. Vanessi don't be afraid to move on and live life, I know it hurts and I know it's hard. Please don't be like me waiting for them I've wasted 4 years of my life waiting for someone that don't love me or cares about me. before I got married i had a great love and I wasted 2 years waiting for her. And last but not least the girl before my great love took me 10 years of waiting, I was a friend of hers for 10 years and when I finally got her in my arms she left me after I took 2 bullets in the back for her, I saved her life on Christmas eve and three days later when I woke up she tells me she's leaving me. So don't waste your time with anyone cause they will hurt you. Learn to love yourself, treat yourself right and if you don't know how then we are in the same boat cause I don't know how either. I have lost myself waiting for love but I know it's out there waiting for me, we just have to go out there and find it

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to vanessi

If you feel that you can't do it then I will love you, I will love you from afar and I don't even know you. Why not, I've waited all my life to love someone.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to vanessi

You want to hear something funny. One day I woke up so disoriented that I brushed my teeth with bengay

Anxiousjy profile image
Anxiousjy in reply to Smellycat123456

Smelly cat? From F.R.I.E.N.D.S?

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Anxiousjy

Yea I stink at life

Anxiousjy profile image
Anxiousjy in reply to Smellycat123456

No you don’t. See the good in life even if it doesn’t seem good at the moment. We’re here if you want to talk to someone

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Anxiousjy

Yea I know but life craped on me and I can't get the stink off. I'm trying to get some sleep but can't I've been up 24 hours and I have to work today

Anxiousjy profile image
Anxiousjy in reply to Smellycat123456

Do you stay with your kids now?

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Anxiousjy

No and I miss them very much, I live alone with my thoughts and you how you doing

Anxiousjy profile image
Anxiousjy in reply to Smellycat123456

Quiet good. My anxiety is not as bad as before. I hope you find peace of mind. And know that you are not alone.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Anxiousjy

It sure does feel lonely,I haven't felt piece in a long time. I don't remember what it feels like. I have a list of problems and emotional turmoil that I don't think I will find piece for a long time

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

Smellycat, you have to start somewhere so that we know how we can help you.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Smellycat, I hope opening up and talking about your many issues has helped you some. I would like to continue this talk tomorrow if we can. I've been on since this morning and need to call it a night. My thoughts will be with you. It's going to be okay... one step at a time. Goodnight my new friend. Stay strong, you are not alone. The forum is a great support. Talk tomorrow. x

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

Good night

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

:) Goodnight

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

Hello there are you there

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

Hi, sorry they changed the format and I was looking for you :)

How are you today?

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

Yea same here, I'm not doing to good, my ex keeps messing with my head it like she don't know how much she hurt me and I'm feeling depressed and I need to get up and go to work but everytime I get up I fall right back down, it like my bed is holding me hostage

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Smellycat123456

It's your mind holding you hostage and spewing out negative thoughts that you can't do this. But you can. Don't allow your ex to control your life any more. The damage has been done, she made her bed and now you must go on. For your sake and the sake of your children. I hope you get to see them. This isn't going to be an easy step for you, I understand that. Trying to get back to the things you have to do is important. Working will give you some space from your problems.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I know but it hurts and im fixing to go to prison if I don't find help

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Whoa...."fixing to go to prison" ? What's that about? I hope it has nothing to do with anger and hurt... That's a serious issue besides all you have going on. I see where there is a lot more to this story that you are carrying on your shoulders.

Smellycat123456 profile image
Smellycat123456 in reply to Agora1

I'm going to court for my third dui that I got a year ago. I stopped drinking sence but I wreaked my 64 impala and after that I got a new car and quit my job cause child support was taking my whole check and I was almost homeless I became an uber driver and now I make sure people get home safe but I saved my house, my mom's house that I grew up in, the house where I strated my family but I live alone and without food and water and barely have light for heat every day is a struggle they say live your life if it is your last they never tried it. The day before yesterday before I called the crisis center the day I got on this site I got into an argument with the ex and got a citation for family violence

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