New and slightly hesitant..

[CatMom2022]

Hi there,

I am new to the community and am a little hesitant about joining an online community. In the past I have read forums for various topics, but never participated. I am a senior in college and will have a degree in Advertising- Strategic Communications.Today, I was diagnosed with high-functioning depression, anxiety and panic attacks, and obsessive compulsive disorder and, truthfully, it feels like a kick to the stomach. I have only confided in a few people including my general health doctor, trusted college professor, mom, sister, and my ex-boyfriend. My sister is too young to understand what is going on, she just knows I am sad and gives the best hugs. My professor was shocked and thought I was joking because I am in the top percentile of my degree program. The doctor I visited does not specialize, so she just prescribed Zoloft and said to take a yoga class. My ex boyfriend is incredibly supportive as my depression and anxiety was a big factor in the failure of our relationship and we hope that someday it will work out. My mom was the first person I told, and I feel like she is taking this as an insult. I do not always know how to describe my depression but when I try, I feel like I am getting attacked as her defense mechanism.. I guess I am just here to find other people who are struggling and overcame depression, anxiety, or OCD. Any advice is appreciated and welcome.

Thank you so much for your support in advance.

[gogogirl]

Senior year in college as I remember can be quite stressful , and it sounds like you are quite diligent. What caused you to get checked for this diagnosis? Also, it sounds like you have a great support system, and now you are welcome here. I have "met" some very supportive and compassionate people who come from all walks of life.

[CatMom2022 in reply to gogogirl]

Hey there, thank you so much for reaching out.

I decided to get officially get checked due to major differences in my mood and overall feeling. Sometimes, I felt like I was just too tired to function, cried a lot, easily stressed or frustrated but could function normally at work or school. I just became tired of feeling tired and sad

[Lostjoy]

I’m glad you found this site. It’s a great place to come and release whatever is bothering you knowing you won’t be judged. We’re all here to help you recover from this.

Maybe your Mom just needs some time to process the situation. If she has never suffered from any type of mental health issues it is going to be very difficult for her to understand.

[CatMom2022 in reply to Lostjoy]

Thank you so much, I never realized how much finding people with similar struggles helps relief some of the fear.

Maybe, I know quite a few years ago she suffered from depression and had taken antidepressants for a few months. Sometimes, I feel like she's mad at me for this.

[tashalyn]

I am happy you are here and talking about it, that initial moment of diagnosis can truly be a kick in the stomach, it happened to me when I was in college I remember it clear as day of light. Your family -mom- is probably struggling to understand and accept, same happened with my family 8 years ago, hell even till today they don’t fully understand it, but it’s okay, this illness or whatever you want to call it is hard for anyone who isn’t experiencing it to understand let alone someone who isn’t. So take a deep breath and trust that god will look over you through this journey. Did you start taking the medication?

[CatMom2022 in reply to tashalyn]

Thank you so much for your response, I have to agree- it is difficult for others because they are not me and everyone experiences an illness or experience differently. How did you cope with your family not understanding what you were dealing with? My biggest struggle is coping- I know it seems like a pretty obvious obstacle, but I just don't really know what to do.

I have began taking my medication (Zoloft) and am three days into it; I also begin counseling two weeks from now.

[met2496]

So I am going to kind of add on to what I was saying to your reply on mine. My mother also thinks all of it is fake and these VERY REAL issues are not happening to me. I don't necessarily feel attacked. I just think she doesn't really understand the whole issue because she is two hours away and doesn't see how this affects my everyday life. I have kind of avoided talking to her about it because I know it is hard for her to understand. I am also new to all of this so it has been very hard to understand what is going on and adjust to life the way it is now. However, I have found that confiding in friends I truly trust has been comforting. My best friend struggles with the same issues I struggle with and has been struggling with them for a lot longer than I have. I can get advice from her and tell her when I am not feeling well and she helps me. I also have friends that are very blunt with me and don't sugarcoat anything. Those friends are also great to have when trying to identify a trigger or when you just need someone to tell you "hey, nothing is happening to you. You are just having a panic attack. Take a deep breath and calm down."

Your situation is very different from mine. But like I said in my reply to your comment, we can't forget how great we truly are. It is very hard sometimes to believe in yourself and to love yourself. But we have conditions that make us unique and different. They might not be easy to live with, but life has just given you another battle to fight. You are strong and you will defeat this animal you are trying to conquer. It takes time. It takes patience.

BTW, persian cats are awesome!!

[CatMom2022 in reply to met2496]

How did your friends receive your struggles? As I mentioned, my ex boyfriend knows and has been helping me battle the situation, but I am not sure he always knows what to do. I never realized I was having panic attacks, and didn't know they could be triggered over random stuff. I thought my situations sounded silly when I gave the example about going shopping with my mom and losing her in a store (after she promises to be in a certain place).

I cannot truly express how comforting your message was for me, thank you so much for your kind words and reassurance that I am not alone.

and THANK YOU! I have a Persian kitty (with a snaggletooth) and he is fabulous.

[met2496 in reply to CatMom2022]

I will start by saying this, over the years I have gone through a lot of friends. The friends I now have are ones that I know truly support me and have my best interests at heart. Be aware of the friendships you do have and the quality of those friendships. Whenever I told my friends, they were very understanding. They even helped me identify some of my triggers and gave me ideas as to why I was having anxiety in the first place. If you are surrounded by a great support team they will help you tremendously. Also, forums like this are really great! You can always reach out to me personally if you need any help. I love helping people and I love making people feel empowered and confident!

Secondly, I also thought my situations sounded silly too. I have that same anxiety about losing my mom in a store etc. I freak out when I can't find her.

Here's an idea: Make a list of friends you feel would be positively receptive to you telling them about your mental health issues. Brainstorm what you want to say to them and choose maybe one friend a day to tell or one a week or whatever timeline you want to work with and go with it. If someone doesn't respond the way you would like then you know not to talk to them about it anymore. By doing this you will be able to weed out who is here for you and who isn't.

Maybe that is a bad idea to you, I am not sure. I just want to give you some suggestions to build a support group for yourself with people you trust.

I hope this helps!!

[gogogirl]

Remember it's not the diagnosis so much - it's the quality of life that counts. I will bet when you finish your degree studies, you will feel better.

[CatMom2022 in reply to gogogirl]

Thank you surprisingly, I actually enjoy college and am applying for a Master's program so that I can become an Advertising professor. I have noticed that if I am working or studying, I don't seem as sad and can apply my OCD/anxiety into improving my work. Sometimes, it does get the best of me though and I end up stressing over everything (poor copywriting, unaligned fonts, etc.).

How do you cope with your anxiety and depression? Of course, if you don't mind me asking. The more advice I can receive the better.

[gogogirl]

I think it's true ( well it seems that way) that when keeping busy at something that is meaningful - can be helpful. My issues are different and work round guilt and regret rather than stress. Hey, I have medical eye issues- so I can relate to typos etc. That's great that you enjoy college and are going for a masters. I think to me you sound HUMAN!

[CatMom2022 in reply to gogogirl]

You mentioned guilt - I can relate to that too.. I feel bad about everything, it seems. Even silly things that are out of my control. Thank you so much for your kindness and opening your struggles to me.

[gogogirl in reply to CatMom2022]

Well, it's nice to see that someone can relate. Mine is over a certain issue. I know in my head there is no good guilt ( unless someone commits a crime and that is different. I do remember ( millions of years ago) transitioning from college back into the world- a lot of adjustment. And in a way I miss those days lots of change going on politically , lots of activists. Are you working and completing college? Then that's a double whammy. I hope that you give yourself time for some free time also. I have met some really nice people here- wish they lived closer. Are you in the USA?

[CatMom2022 in reply to gogogirl]

Millions of years ago? I wish I had an eye roll emoji on my keyboard. hehe Did something happen to make you feel guilty? If you don't mind me asking, of course. I just want to understand others and make more friends that understand me. I have been in college for the last five years (it took me a chunk of time to decide what degree I wanted) and I will be graduating in May with my Bachelors. Throughout college, I have worked continuously- always part time- but sometimes multiple jobs. I struggle with being still and feel guilty for taking time to myself; to the point of forgetting how to relax. I worked in food and hospitality for most of my "working life" but also did some Lead Generation/Recruitment work for Girl Scouts and was a Strategist for a local pizza brand. Over the summer I interned at an advertising agency and now, I work as a bridal consultant and a business development officer for a new lunch catering concept in my area.

So far, everyone seems so sweet and genuine. I wish they lived closer too because I think they would be really good, real life friends too. I am in the USA, are you?

[gogogirl in reply to CatMom2022]

Yes, something did happen ( no, I am not a criminal or anything like that but I do have some trauma because of it. You feel guilty for taking time? Come now, that is a necessity. Guilt can do a number on us. You sound very accomplished, and you have a lot to be proud of that is for sure. And look at that - you even worked yourself through college. I am old ( hence millions of years ago) but I am also glad that I lived through some real changes in history. I even remember JFK and Dr. King. You probably have heard all of this- but have you taken time to just breathe? Sometimes go go go I am sure can really get people on a rollercoaster. Thanks for your post. Also, what is an emogi? I am not up to all this tech stuff, and also have eye issues. Yes, I do have anxiety and depression issues and now cabin fever. Yes, I am in the USA> Feel free to privately message. Getting off now due to chronic medical eye issues.

[Agora1]

Hi PersianCatMom, You certainly have a lot of pressure going on in your life but it's more about the chemicals in your brain that are off causing the depression. Your doctor may be great for handling your medical issues but I would turn to a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in mental disorders. It's not as easy as "here take this and do Yoga". I think you might benefit without going through long term trial and error on medication by finding a professional who understands emotional issues and how our brain responds to chemical imbalance.

This forum is one of the best I've found for support, understanding and caring. You are safe here. We all need a little guidance at times as well as a hand to hold to see us through. We care xx